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is it a turn off for men if a woman initiates a kiss on a first date?

strawberryshortstack

By strawberryshortstack
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strawberryshortstack Established Member

strawberryshortstack

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I had a first date with a guy today, and we both enjoyed it. At the end, I hugged him, and gave him a quick goodbye kiss. I've never done that before, but since I'd had such a great time, and found him very attractive, it felt like the right thing to do. However, being the overthinker that I am, I'm now wondering if I should have done it.

 

He texted me almost immediately to thank me for the kiss, so there's really no good reason for me to be doubting my choice, but I can't help myself.

Satu Established Member

Satu

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Spontaneous happy gestures are delightful.

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fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

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Good for you girl! Although I'm not a big fan of him "thanking you" for the kiss because it comes off like it doesn't happen to him very often. Haha But that's awesome you took initiative. I don't think women realize how nerve wracking going for a first kiss is. I mean I can be 99% sure she wants me to kiss her, but there is still that small two second window where I'm making myself completely vulnerable. Luckily I've only been cheeked twice in my life. However, getting rejected like that in such a vulnerable moment is so brutal.

 

If I really enjoyed a woman's company on a first date and she beat me to the punch kissing me first, that's more than fine. The ONLY first kiss turn off I have is when a woman shoves her damn tongue down my throat. I love to make out as much as the next guy. But not on a first kiss. Soft, slow, romantic, and a hint of tongue if she initiates is perfect.

 

I went out with one woman where the first date was good and she subtly says 'I had such a lovely time tonight". So I take this as a green light to kiss her. The second I do, her tongue is searching for my tonsils. Little did she know I had them out when I was 19. :D But since there is no non awkward of saying "you're a bad kisser" I sent her a text the next day and said that I'd decided to focus on another woman I'd been dating.

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DoesntGetIt Established Member

DoesntGetIt

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For me, everything a woman initiates instead of waiting/forcing the guy to do it is not only good, but is a turn on.

 

 

Good for you for going after what you wanted and not being afraid to put yourself out there.

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jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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I had a first date with a guy today, and we both enjoyed it. At the end, I hugged him, and gave him a quick goodbye kiss. I've never done that before, but since I'd had such a great time, and found him very attractive, it felt like the right thing to do. However, being the overthinker that I am, I'm now wondering if I should have done it.

 

He texted me almost immediately to thank me for the kiss, so there's really no good reason for me to be doubting my choice, but I can't help myself.

 

It's perfectly fine. :)

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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As a guy, I love this.

 

It only gets me more turned on and interested.

 

I like girls who are different. Not like other girls.

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MrMeh Established Member

MrMeh

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Nothing turns me on more than a girl knowing what she wants and being assertive about it! :bunny:

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strawberryshortstack Established Member

strawberryshortstack

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Good for you girl! Although I'm not a big fan of him "thanking you" for the kiss because it comes off like it doesn't happen to him very often. Haha But that's awesome you took initiative. I don't think women realize how nerve wracking going for a first kiss is. I mean I can be 99% sure she wants me to kiss her, but there is still that small two second window where I'm making myself completely vulnerable. Luckily I've only been cheeked twice in my life. However, getting rejected like that in such a vulnerable moment is so brutal.

 

If I really enjoyed a woman's company on a first date and she beat me to the punch kissing me first, that's more than fine. The ONLY first kiss turn off I have is when a woman shoves her damn tongue down my throat. I love to make out as much as the next guy. But not on a first kiss. Soft, slow, romantic, and a hint of tongue if she initiates is perfect.

 

I went out with one woman where the first date was good and she subtly says 'I had such a lovely time tonight". So I take this as a green light to kiss her. The second I do, her tongue is searching for my tonsils. Little did she know I had them out when I was 19. :D But since there is no non awkward of saying "you're a bad kisser" I sent her a text the next day and said that I'd decided to focus on another woman I'd been dating.

 

There was no tongue involved. It was just a nice, soft, closed mouth kiss.

 

As for him thanking me, I thought it was very sweet. I took it as him just wanting me to know that he enjoyed it.

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road Established Member

road

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As a man I would be happy with what you did.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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There was no tongue involved. It was just a nice, soft, closed mouth kiss.

 

As for him thanking me, I thought it was very sweet. I took it as him just wanting me to know that he enjoyed it.

 

He sounds nice :)

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fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

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There was no tongue involved. It was just a nice, soft, closed mouth kiss.

 

As for him thanking me, I thought it was very sweet. I took it as him just wanting me to know that he enjoyed it.

 

That's cool that it worked for you. Seems like a sweet connection. By the way, I'm in the south bay. Haven't seen many Bay Area folks on here. Did you meet the guy online?

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strawberryshortstack Established Member

strawberryshortstack

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That's cool that it worked for you. Seems like a sweet connection. By the way, I'm in the south bay. Haven't seen many Bay Area folks on here. Did you meet the guy online?

 

Yes, I met him on okcupid.

fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

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Yes, I met him on okcupid.

 

Good stuff. It's cool that he matched up visually and personality wise to what you expected. With online, people can look vastly different than pics, or have a different personality in person. That's why I don't text with women online. I always do a phone call before hand. Voice is a better indicator of actual personality.

Jessie1231 Established Member

Jessie1231

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I definitely hope it's not a turn off. I'm all for kissing a guy on the first date if I like him. I feel that if you like someone, go for it.

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strawberryshortstack Established Member

strawberryshortstack

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Good stuff. It's cool that he matched up visually and personality wise to what you expected. With online, people can look vastly different than pics, or have a different personality in person. That's why I don't text with women online. I always do a phone call before hand. Voice is a better indicator of actual personality.

 

I agree. We did text for a bit, but he also called me within 30 minutes of exchanging phone numbers with me. I'm a little shy, as my username indicates, but he made me feel very comfortable. I think the pre-date phone conversation helped with that though.

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strawberryshortstack Established Member

strawberryshortstack

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Thanks everyone for the responses. They've been very helpful.

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fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

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I definitely hope it's not a turn off. I'm all for kissing a guy on the first date if I like him. I feel that if you like someone, go for it.

 

I think it also depends on the type of woman that you date too. I'm used to dating women that are a bit more traditional, like an older fashioned gentleman that's a bit of an Alpha, etc.. So that's why I'm used to being the one that initiates. In a way, it's a turn on when a woman likes that dynamic.

 

But with that said, if a woman who usually expects a guy to initiate is so attracted to me and just can't help herself, I'd be VERY flattered.

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Diezel Established Member

Diezel

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My girlfriend told me on our first date: Shut up and kiss me.

Doesn't get any more direct than that. She got rid of all of the anxiety that one feels when trying to go for it in on sentence.

Happy-Dayze Member

Happy-Dayze

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I like a girl who takes the initiative just as long as it doesn't come off as her being "too interested". If she is fun, flirty and assertive then I love it but if it is a girl throwing herself at me on date 1 then it can be a big turn off. I think it is the same a guy making the first move - just have to do it the right way.

 

It sounds like you did the former which is a good thing :)

joseb Established Member

joseb

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My girlfriend told me on our first date: Shut up and kiss me.

Doesn't get any more direct than that. She got rid of all of the anxiety that one feels when trying to go for it in on sentence.

 

Sounds like a line from a movie! I like it.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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I had a first date with a guy today, and we both enjoyed it. At the end, I hugged him, and gave him a quick goodbye kiss. I've never done that before, but since I'd had such a great time, and found him very attractive, it felt like the right thing to do. However, being the overthinker that I am, I'm now wondering if I should have done it.

 

He texted me almost immediately to thank me for the kiss, so there's really no good reason for me to be doubting my choice, but I can't help myself.

 

He thanked you :) What's to worry about? As long as you didn't throw him on the ground and french him, it's really just a polite gesture that indicates you liked him and had a good time. I bet you hug and give a little kiss when you see some of your friends and acquaintances too.

Gary S Established Member

Gary S

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He thanked you :) As long as you didn't throw him on the ground and french him,

 

>> :eek:

 

 

Ahhhh, a woman kissing the man first. It does not happen very often, but it's great when it does! This is my favorite thread of the week! :)

Edited by Gary S
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  • 3 weeks later...
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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as a guy I find this a huge turn on

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