miacat Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 So I've been seeing this guy since November. The day after we met he told his mom about me, there was mutual enthusiasm shared between the two of us and it was obvious. He told me he didn't want a relationship but we should see where this goes. We kept seeing each other and started seeing each other almost every week come January. He's had me over his parents house many times, taken me out with his friends and to parties. Would tell people about me often. So, inevitably we've gotten really close. And feelings have been intense. As far as our status goes, it's just been a casual relationship (although it certainly doesn't feel like one) He'd tell me I can hook up with whoever I want, he just doesn't want to hear about it, and vice versa. Then he'd say "although I really don't want you to hook up with other people..." Very up and down relationship all around. He completely caught me off guard and told me he loved me one night in bed. We hadn't even had sex that night, we were just laying in bed cuddling and he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me. I didn't say it back. I really hurt him, and he turned away and chocked back tears. I have not been good at communicating through out this whole relationship, mostly due to the fact at just how confusing it is. He later told me he thought it was obvious that he loved me, and had felt that way for a while, and figured our relationship was going somewhere. A week later I had told him over text that I had no interest in being intimate with other people. This freaked him out and almost made him cancel our spring break plans. Weeks later I visit a friend and go out. He's very dry and barely communicated with me over the next couple of days. Once I saw him in person after that he said "I figured you had hooked up with some guy last weekend" and I wasn't sure how to respond (although I had not hooked up with anyone) and kind of just ignored him. Then he got upset and set "Well thanks for the reassurance Mia!" I didn't know what to say. I then spit out "Well I didn't hook up with anyone!" What do you mean reassurance?! I thought you didn't care! He gets very jealous. Bottom line this relationship is very confusing and I'm having a hard time communicating to him about what we both want. He's currently flirting with/hooking up with some other girl (he doesn't know I know) but still makes plans with me for the future and our birthdays, still calls me and texts me everyday. I am very confused and do not know how to proceed. I don't kknow how much longer I can endure this painful up and down wacky relationship. Any insight on how/what I should talk to him about? Is he just very insecure and confused? Really lost. I don't understand how someone can tell someone they love them, and not want to be more serious with one another. Please no rude comments, I have not had that much dating experience.
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