blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Well well well well well. Well! I had a fun weekend. My vacation fling guy came to visit me again, we went out friday night and saturday night, and I made dinner for him on sunday night, which he totally flipped about. Men loves dem pork chops. He actually was supposed to go out on a date on friday with some other girl and cancelled to spend time with me. Which I was like, hey you are totally free to see her I don't really care, I need to mop my floors, but he came to see me instead. And when he left this morning he said he couldn't wait to come back to my place next weekend to wake up next to me again. And he also said that he wanted to marry me. I said, um yeah, well, I definatley need a lot of time to think about THAT. A LOT. So I am going to Scotland in the middle of the summer. For a few days. So I guess he's not a vacation fling any more because he asked if we could be exclusive.
CurlyIam Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 How did Sgt. Bosco to him? I'm glad that things are working out with him... someone loving you is always flattering. How about yourself?
CurlyIam Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 I've forgotten "react". How did Sgt. Bosco React to him? Sorry!!!
Author blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Sgt. Bosco has been in a funk and shaved his head. I was out with Scottish guy on saturday night and we ran into Bosco. He was nice to Scottish guy, but kept referring to him as "Scotland" (as if he were representative of the entire country). We ended up at the same party after the bars closed, and of course Scotland wanted to get me home because I was a bit lit, and Bosco was depressed and looked bummed. He kept making eye contact with me and I just kinda looked away. I went home with Scottish guy, we gave this dude I barely know a ride home because he was so drunk he was sleeping on the floor of my friend J's living room and people were just stepping over him. Bosco went to another party and continued to get trashed. I don't know what happened with him. He was trying to hook up with someone.
CurlyIam Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 How about yourself? what do you feel for Scotland?
Author blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 He is adorable. When I was getting ready for work this morning and blow drying my hair he walked up to the bathroom doorway and his hair was all crazy looking and he said something to me in that gaelic gibberish language he speaks (hahaha) that I barely understand and I just thought he was cute and I kissed him all over his face. I don't know that I could marry anyone, to be honest, but for citizenship, it wouldn't really count, eh? Just kidding. We get along well. He is very calm and not high strug AT ALL. He smokes pot, too, and doesn't lecture ME about smoking. He has lived all over the world. I like not understanding everything he says for some reason. Mystery, I guess. He has the craziest stories. He entertains me. But I've only known him for like a little over a month. So that's why I want to see him in scotland, in his own element. And I have to meet him mum and everything when I go in a coupla months. But at least he's taking me to amsterdam for the weekend the week I come to visit.
Pendawn Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Aww congrats, that it the msot adorable sounding guy. But hey from one Scot, course I'm going to say Scottish men are fabulous! Where in Scotland is he from?
Author blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Pendawn Aww congrats, that it the msot adorable sounding guy. But hey from one Scot, course I'm going to say Scottish men are fabulous! Where in Scotland is he from? He's from Glasgow. I was joking about Groundskeeper Willy (Simpsons) and he got all offended and said that he wasn't from Aberdeen, they have a totally different accent, blah blah blah. I did get him to say "Get in mah belleh!" And also, he chuckles whenever I say (a la Mike Meyers) "If it's not Scottish, it's crrrrrap!"
Linlin Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Pendawn I'm going to say Scottish men are fabulous! Where in Scotland is he from? My ex is from Scotland. He is not so great!! I told him I wasnt a divorce this morning so he is not happy with me. Imagine, he sleeps with my girlfriend and is mad I want a divorce. Go figure. He is from Clydebank. Now saying that, Scotland is beautiful to visit and you will have a great time. Just keep having fun. That is what I say.
Author blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Hmmmm. I am still having fun, dern it! Luckily someone's coming with us next weekend we're going to St. Augustine for the weekend, thank god I can get recharged. The energy at the beach is invigorating.
Illusion24 Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Wow B_O I'm so happy for you. Sounds like you're really into this one . I hope you find the love you need and desire...It feels good to be wanted and caressed doesn't it??... Live for today not tomorrow...Enjoy him while you have him and let go...You just might find a whole new meaning to life....
prisoner Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 is it there? that invisible thing? the undeniable thing? the thing you cannot verbalise? what it is that you are looking for? were you satisfied with 'the talk'? are you feeling any fear? trepidation? if so, have you felt it before or is it a new fear? if not, is this the first time w/out any fear? is the 'What a surprise...' in your title sarcastic? i am spilling with things to say but I am holding back because I do not want to seem as though I am not happy for you. It is important that you get what you want. i have ALOT of experience with the major differences in relationship and dating culture (US versus Scotland). Did you think it odd in any way that he talks the way he does after knowing you for such a short period of time? Or have you felt the evolution move faster than the seconds, too? was there a lightning bolt?
Author blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by prisoner is it there? that invisible thing? the undeniable thing? the thing you cannot verbalise? what it is that you are looking for? were you satisfied with 'the talk'? are you feeling any fear? trepidation? if so, have you felt it before or is it a new fear? if not, is this the first time w/out any fear? is the 'What a surprise...' in your title sarcastic? i am spilling with things to say but I am holding back because I do not want to seem as though I am not happy for you. It is important that you get what you want. i have ALOT of experience with the major differences in relationship and dating culture (US versus Scotland). Did you think it odd in any way that he talks the way he does after knowing you for such a short period of time? Or have you felt the evolution move faster than the seconds, too? was there a lightning bolt? I definately was surprised when he just came out of the blue with the marriage thing. I think he figured I was uncomfortable with it. The invisible thing....will it ever BE there? If It was I wouldn't let myself feel it. I am relaxed and not really concerned when I am with him. He makes me feel like I am at ease. It don't know if I can expect any better at this point. The last time I felt this relaxed was years ago. I don't find it odd, I think the man wants his US citizenship, is fond of me and thinks he can tolerate living with me for a year or two, and that's about it. I don't think he is like totally IN LOVE with me. If I wanted citizenship I would probably try to find a way into the country like this myself. But when he looks at me there is an intensity there, which I can't identify and makes me slightly uncomfortable. An intensity that I shy away from not out of fear, but more out of discomfort. You can't be that fond of someone, but on more than one occassion I have run into men who are fascinated by me or besotted by me or in lust with me, because I am insane, and physically attractive with a body built for physical loving, and a bit less self-respect than I should have. Because they are intrigued with what I look like on the surface and how different that is from what I am on the inside. I can tell he's one of those. It's just a certain type of man. Very straight-laced, prior experience with women of the "normal" type who are soft and feminine and not insane. Not a lot of experience with women. Naturally good in bed. Sexy bod, but completely unaware of his sexiness. Likes to sit back and watch me get dressed up and walk around dangling me off his arm like a bit of candy. I'm too cynical to fall head over heels for anyone anymore.
Pendawn Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter He's from Glasgow. I was joking about Groundskeeper Willy (Simpsons) and he got all offended and said that he wasn't from Aberdeen, they have a totally different accent, blah blah blah. I did get him to say "Get in mah belleh!" And also, he chuckles whenever I say (a la Mike Meyers) "If it's not Scottish, it's crrrrrap!" HAHA my Ex did a mean Fat B*stard. I'm from the East Coast (further south than Aberdeen) so my accent would be totally different than your guys. And rightly so he should say about Aberdeen, it has the same kind of butt-of-the-jokes rep that some of the Southern US states have. Lots of jokes about sheep shagging. I hvae to admit that Scottish men tend not to be overly romantic or open with emotions so he sounds a TOTAL keeper! Linlin - sorry you got one of the bad ones. My grandpa was from Clydebank, he courted my gran for 10 years riding his bicycle 50 miles to see her. he was a good one.
Author blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Pendawn I hvae to admit that Scottish men tend not to be overly romantic or open with emotions so he sounds a TOTAL keeper! This explains a lot. I was joking about how I have a problem with diarrhea of the mouth....whatever comes into my head goes out my mouth with little monitoring. He said he has the opposite problem and that even though I am like an open book, I shouldn't assume he doesn't have strong feelings just because he doesn't act all crazy and emotional like I do. That's why he likes me so much, I think. Because I am out there, and I hug and smooch everyone I know, and call everyone sweetie and hunny, and talk about emotional things. He seems to be constantly amused by me and my bizarre little American-isms. I'm excited about visiting Glasgow in June. I'm going to the Oasis concert with him.
prisoner Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 the last time you felt this relaxed, how did that turn out? what is it about the way you know he (your description was poetry) is that makes you comfortable? what would the opposite do? does it offend you that he may simply want to use you for citizenship? strangely, you imply that you are happier with that scenario (or at least more accepting) than you are with the notion that this man may feel something? am i wrong? have i run too far to get home? see, i want to know why you believe (?) that one cannot be 'that fond of' someone else? or is it that fond of you? do you really think that love has boundaries? or is it modern love? or what we define as love in the ipod age. at work we call it designer love. people 'in love' because they already have enough stuff (for now) or they are in between projects. anyway, back to you: in general, do you really believe that there is no heads over heels for you ever again?
Author blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by prisoner the last time you felt this relaxed, how did that turn out? what is it about the way you know he (your description was poetry) is that makes you comfortable? what would the opposite do? does it offend you that he may simply want to use you for citizenship? strangely, you imply that you are happier with that scenario (or at least more accepting) than you are with the notion that this man may feel something? am i wrong? have i run too far to get home? see, i want to know why you believe (?) that one cannot be 'that fond of' someone else? or is it that fond of you? do you really think that love has boundaries? or is it modern love? or what we define as love in the ipod age. at work we call it designer love. people 'in love' because they already have enough stuff (for now) or they are in between projects. anyway, back to you: in general, do you really believe that there is no heads over heels for you ever again? Maybe I am too afraid of head over heels. I'm not offended to be used for citizenship. He says he only wants to be in the country for a year or two. I would like to live in the UK for a year or two. We discussed working out an arrangement where both parties would be able to achieve that. And yes you are right, I feel more comfortable with the notion that he just wants to have some help becoming a citizen, than I feel thinking that he honestly HAS fallen for me that hard and that fast. The last time I felt this comfortable, I got married to the man. And then it all went to hell when he went to prison. At least with a foreigner, the least they could do would be to deport him. hah! Why am I comfortable? Because I know why men find me physically attractive. But why they find me mentally or emotionally attractive, is still a mystery. Did he like that I made dinner for my friend because she had just broken up with her girlfriend? Did he like the slightly maternal way I cared for him when he had a stuffy nose? Does he like my ugly toes? Does he like the way I purse my lips when I think too hard, or the way I smoke too much pot, or the way I hum under my breath even when there is no music? Or does he think these things are annoying? Does he secretly just want me to shut up until the next shag??
shamen Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Wow B_O! You guys had the talk! Totally not what I expected out of the vacation fling. Obviously you need LOADS of time to mull this over. Going to Scotland this summer will be a definite important thing. Good luck with the trip! Poor Sgt. Bosco. What are you thinking about him, if anything?
Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Awe Girl.. it isn't a suprise someone loves you! I hope things work out
Author blind_otter Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by shamen Wow B_O! You guys had the talk! Totally not what I expected out of the vacation fling. Obviously you need LOADS of time to mull this over. Going to Scotland this summer will be a definite important thing. Good luck with the trip! Poor Sgt. Bosco. What are you thinking about him, if anything? HE looked a bit salty on saturday when I ran into him with Scotty. I am going to have to hang out with him this week sometime and give him hugs and hairpats. I still care about him a lot but thinkin' about it, if we got together it would get ugly. He has all these hangups, he doesn't forget the stupid stuff that people SHOULD forget. He can be mean. He very successfully pushed me away, basically.
shamen Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Sorry that he (Sgt. Bosco) has pushed you away and that he can be mean sometimes. Being with a guy that can be mean is NO fun! Sometimes it just seems like they dig stuff really far out of the closet to throw in your face... Good luck with Scotty and take your time to figure out what you want.
prisoner Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 okay. everyone should be afraid of head over heels. for as warm and wonderful as people imagine it i still hope for a world where people remember that love can start wars too. and can be really scary. oh if wishing mad it so. what if he thinks he HAS fallen for you and you are comfortable with the C word? is he going to GET that? is he going to understand? IYO? I mean, do you know him that well to make that call? not a lot of men like it when women (mostly rightly) explain their (the man's) feelings. although they should. next: does he know those things? does he see them? if he knew you. if he wanted to love you he would try and see them. we both know that the man that loves you will love you after he knows those things about you. and you will know that he knows. and you will know him that well. and the things that make him HIM. redundant? maybe. are you fed up of this, though. is a man knowing you that well and then loving you part of the invisible thing?
prisoner Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 those things you boldly list. tbose things you mention. are they the things you love about yourself? are they the things that you want someone to love about you? is that how you want to be seen? remembered? I hope so. if more people understood that those things. those invisible yet tangible things that manifest themselves in idiosyncracies and kindness. if more people understood that those things are the important things. who knows what would happen? it would be good, though. i know a girl who asked her man: what will you do when my looks fade? what will you see when what you first saw is a memory? he told her he would always see her that way. that was it. it was over. out he went. she wanted to be seen AS SHE WAS. in the present. at the moment. not what she was. not what she would be. i just thought i would share that.
Author blind_otter Posted April 19, 2005 Author Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by prisoner those things you boldly list. tbose things you mention. are they the things you love about yourself? are they the things that you want someone to love about you? is that how you want to be seen? remembered? I hope so. if more people understood that those things. those invisible yet tangible things that manifest themselves in idiosyncracies and kindness. if more people understood that those things are the important things. who knows what would happen? it would be good, though. i know a girl who asked her man: what will you do when my looks fade? what will you see when what you first saw is a memory? he told her he would always see her that way. that was it. it was over. out he went. she wanted to be seen AS SHE WAS. in the present. at the moment. not what she was. not what she would be. i just thought i would share that. They are things that I both like and dislike about myself. I found myself struck with tender feelings for the first time, not when he was on top of me, or engaged in sexual activities, or buying me things, but when he stumbled to the doorway of the bathroom while I was getting ready for work, and he looked adorable, and his hair was sticking every which way, and he had a goofy grin on his face, watching me put lipgloss on in the mirror the particular way that I put lipgloss on. I like seeing someone's faults and their good parts, that is what is loveable in someone. I think, anyways. When I love someone I love them for everything they are. Good parts, bad parts, ugly parts, pretty parts. I love it all. I love stinky socks and the way that men have underarm hair that is soft like squirrel fur. He called me last night, and this is the first time in the month I've known him that he called me the day he got home after spending the weekend with me. It was just a short phone call but he conveys more to me in those minutes that we talk than I usually get in hours of phone conversations. He seems awfully fond of me. I just find it hard to believe men, after 11 months of constant deceit dating a complete psychopath. I had a long convo with Sgt. Bosco last night and he was VERY irritable and upset. I said, How can I make you happy? I want to. I want to make you smile even for a few seconds. He said nothing I could do would make him happy. He has been upset since saturday or sunday. He won't say why, exactly. He is upset about work, about his car, about making money.... And I'm walking around feeling uncomfortable with my own spontaneous happiness.
prisoner Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 my favourite word is forward. progresso in portuguese. it implies evolutionary jumps and is proudly the mark of a country where eighty five percent of the people live on less than two dollars a day. it is on the brazilian flag. what is your favourite word? i can bet it is not 'uncomfortable'. but pieto a pieto. step by step. what kind of person is BOSCO? is he what you described? can he experience joy? is his misery negative attention getting or do YOU believe he is truly upset. are you automatically feeling 'uncomfortable' because of him? are you responsible for his misery? his happiness/ today? tomorrow? even if you were yesterday i submit that people that comein to your life NEED you but is it fair? is it just? IYO: does he have the right to steal from your happiness. I would venture that 'uncomfortable' is something you would be anyway. I bet that believeing men was not first on your list of things to do today. is it crawling up the list? is scotty making it rear it's head or do you just feel melted just a little? if BOSCO was no more, then would you be overflowing, right now? are you holding back so that you will be alright or so that he will be alright? I know that you are not going to let him just float away but seriously, what becomes of him if you marry Scotty? go exclusive? date more intensely? have the inverse talk with BOSCO? and finally (i know you enjoy it) some more fortune cookie poetry: your happiness is a meal you prepare for one. no one needs your empathy as much as you do. the year is at the spring, and the day's at the morn...all's right with the world (Robert Browning) that last one was just for kicks.
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