toasty Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 Hey there, I'm quite desperate at the moment, so quite frankly I googled for the first relevant forum... just being honest. So... background story first... I'm 23 and I've known a woman for roughly 10 years now. For these 10 years we've always been eachothers best friends, even before we got together as a couple. Now, the catch here, is that we met online, through a game. This means, that we live in different countries, I live in Denmark, and she lives in Germany, so it isn't super far.... Anyway, after some years, we got into a serious relationship, and things were good for a while, but then issues started to come up. She's wanted to breakit off quite a few times, mostly for reasons relating to it being long distance. However, whenever I visit her, she changes her mind and we usually make up by the time I leave for home. Okay... so here's the currently situation. She's slowly been falling for soeone else, in her school, and at the same time she's grown dissatisfied with our relationship, saying I didn't seem interested in her sexually. I told her this isn't true, but that I'm going through hard time, seeing as I'm jobless and honestly quite lonely. It's been roughly 2 weeks since she said she "didnt want a sexual relationship" with me, but that she still loves me a lot. I could kinda accept that, as sex is not number 1 priority for me in our... bond. There are two issues however. Firstly, I grow extremely sad over the thought of her being with someone else. .. And the second, and worst, is that she is barely talking to me. I'm used to going to bed with her over skype, and taking to her every day, about everything, but she's never online, and on facebook she's really emotionless. She also gets upset when i ask when I can visit her so we can talk things through, saying I'm pushing. I'm currently jobless, friendless and sitting alone in a small apartment going crazy because I constantly feel like calling her, writing her, I feel so god damn alone. Why am I jobless. Well I took an expensive education in 3d graphics, because thats what I'm passionate about. But, as it turns out, there are few josb out here round here, so I feel like a complete failure, now that my education is over. Why am I friendless? Well, because im an introvert, and I don't keep friends for very long. This isn't because I dont like people, I just dont keep in close contact, and frankly I dont feel comfortable with most people, which results in me sitting here having noone to comfort me. She is the closests person in my life, and I'm sitting here fearing that I'll never see her again, without aything to do, and anyone to talk to. I loe her, and I dont understand why she isn't talking to me.
stopping Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 Do nothing...for 24 hours in terms of contact...get out...walk...stop isolating... reboot then look at the situation... sorry can not be more help than that...a lot of great people here will chime in and share their vast experience. I wish you good fortune in this
Chi townD Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 Sorry dude. But, online relationships rarely ever work out. It usually happens when one or the other finds someone else local. A person they can actually touch or go out to dinner with at a moments notice and not something that takes months of planning. I know nothing I'm going to say is going to make it any easier. But, it's time to move on. She's found someone else. Start working on you. If you're an introvert, then you need to break that cycle of being shy and withdrawn. You need to put yourself out there. And you need to get a job. Nothing from stopping you from looking for job opportunities outside of Denmark. Hell, my state is bigger than your entire country! So, look at companies in the US or even the UK that have more job opportunities and may want to take you on and sponsor your work visa. It's time to start moving forward, dude. 1
Author toasty Posted April 21, 2015 Author Posted April 21, 2015 I'm not really shy... I just dont really.. need people most of the time. But right now I do. I appreciate your responses, but I'm not ready to let go, I wish I was, but I'm not. We both want to be close friends, and im sure with time we can do that.. it's just that right now... I need comfort, and the person I need for comfort.. is the person who doesnt wanna talk to me... I feel like visiting her, to make her talk to me.. but I know that would be a horrible idea
wizer Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 Sounds like she's done with you. You're just going to have to make a new friend. 1
Satu Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 Sorry that you're hurting. You've made a classic mistake, made by many: You've put all your eggs in one basket. She is your everything, best friend, girlfriend, comforter, company. I'm not criticising you, just pointing out that this is not a good or healthy thing. Whether you realise it or not, we all need more than one person in our lives. You need to make and keep some friends. I'll refrain from commenting on your relationship just now and leave that to others. All the best, Satu
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