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Posted

Hello fellow Love Shackers! I am looking for some advice/clarity on a recent split. It was not a long relationship, approximately 2.5 months, but she was the first girl I really liked and was starting to develop feelings for since my split from a long term ex almost 2 years ago.

 

Everything start was great, we were really into each other, constant texting, we had a lot of really awesome dates, took a weekend trip, and after about a month we decided we didn't want to see anyone else. We were seeing each other 2-3 times a week, with her often staying over at my house. The sex was the best I have had in years. During the second month I had to travel a lot and she also went on a vacation but we keep in touch through out. I noticed she started to become a bit distant about 3 weeks before we split and when she got back from her vacation, we had a talk. At the end of it she said she didn't think we should see each other anymore. When I asked why, she thought we were "different" people in different places of our lives, despite the fact we were fundementally very similar in values, humor, etc. I was disappointed, told her how I felt, but stayed strong and kept my dignity. The next day she picked up some of her stuff I had of hers and I went no contact, also deleting her from facebook. There was no fighting or animosity. Yesterday I initiated a friendly text interaction about an activity we started while together and she was receptive. We split about 2 weeks ago.

 

I really didn't want to split from her, my question is would it be a good idea to reach out to her one final time and see if she wanted to give it another go? I am wondering if the time spent apart might have contributed? I haven't met someone like her in a long time and want to make sure there is nothing left. Any advice, input, feedback is greatly appreciated!!

Posted

Look, she dumped you. If she wanted to try again she knows your number. If you beg or grovel or hassle her it will just make you look weak and needy.

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Posted

I'd say to let it go. It sounds like you guys were in the early "discovery" stage of your relationship, and it just wasn't clicking for her. It sucks, I know I would have a few great dates with a guy and then...nothing. It was the most frustrating thing, because I thought we were getting along really well. But I just had to accept the fact that not every relationship is meant to be.

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Posted

Probably what I need to hear. I didn't plan to beg or grovel, I just wanted to put it out there that I was interested in giving it a go. When we split, I also mentioned I was unsure of things too given the distancing of herself. I haven't met someone like her in a long time and considering it was a fairly brief relationship I thought it would hurt to put it out there?

Posted

There's more to the story then "you are different people" but it's a kind way of her telling you that she has no interest in trying

 

So, no you reaching out to her is not a good idea.

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Posted
There's more to the story then "you are different people" but it's a kind way of her telling you that she has no interest in trying

 

So, no you reaching out to her is not a good idea.

I was also thinking there was more to the story than "we are different people", her reasoning didn't make much sense? There were definitely some red flags looking back now, but I think I was being hopeful it was a good fit. Despite the fact it was a very brief relationship, it has been more disappointing than I would have expected.

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