Jay13094 Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 I ended things with my ex because he was pursing another girl behind my back. we weren't official but we were exclusive and he was basically my bf. everyone would refer us as gf/bf even tho we didn't to each other. I told him multiple times i need time to move on, but he still reaches out to hang out and wants to be "friends" with me. He was my first love and he hurt me really bad, but i'm not angry anymore and i just miss him now. I was in strict NC for 2 months and he still found a way to talk throughout the months making it so much harder for me. We basically lived together since i had an apartment and half his stuff was at my place- I just do not understand if he doesn't want to be with me why he keeps coming back. Half the time i don't respond to him. I talked to him recently b/c he needed a place to stay for a while so asked if he could move in (hahahah i know its hilarious at the audacity he has). I had to give it some thought but ultimately i said no saying its not fair. Our last argument was 2 weeks prior to him asking me and i asked if he wanted to sleepover since we were on ok terms and he said "if i sleepover its gonna be complicated for us.." now 2 weeks later hes gonna ask to move in???? he says he had no one else to go to and that he trusted. Hes "desperate" and etc. But no matter how desperate how is he gonna even ask me??? he knows how selfish he was being since i told him. Long story short- hes staying with me for the weekend and then he will move into his place on the following monday. The day he leaves i'm planning on telling him that he has to do me a favor now and cut me out of his life. And let me move on.... the right way- we always have such a fun time together i do not get why he can't date me. I do not think he will keep this favor since hes proven to reach out eventually, and i do not know why he has to make everything SO COMPLICATED. He knows what i want, and thats to be with him. he says hes scared of the expectations i'll have from him but thats such bs. The only thing i would ask is that he isn't sleeping with other freaking girls. I've been so patient w/ him throughout this whole thing and I can't do it anymore. He's the most confusing person I have ever met in my life. He says that out of the 4 years since hes moved here, i was the closest thing to his gf and that i mean a lot but like... sigh i dont understand why hes making me miserable (we're in early 20s)
PegNosePete Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 Why the hell did you have to even think about whether a sleepover was a good idea or not? He cheated on you FFS. You shouldn't have to think about that at all. You should tell him to F off and call him a cheating douchebag. he has to do me a favor now HE doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. YOU can do whatever you like as well. And what you should be doing is ignoring every single contact he makes. Do not respond to emails or texts, hang up if he calls, slam the door on him if he knocks. That is NC. 1
mammasita Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 (edited) I just do not understand if he doesn't want to be with me why he keeps coming back Because YOU let him. This has nothing to do with what he wants or doesn't want. You make it easy and convenient. That's all there is to it. Set boundaries, grow a backbone and don't be afraid to say F*&K this and walk away and NEVER look back when you know ***** ain't right. Without any of that you'll keep letting him and others like him walk all over you. He's there making YOU miserable and staying with you because YOU looked back and let him in. I doubt he's miserable. He's getting sex, a place to sleep and I bet you're feeding him too. Edited April 21, 2015 by mammasita
Author Jay13094 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Posted April 21, 2015 Why the hell did you have to even think about whether a sleepover was a good idea or not? He cheated on you FFS. You shouldn't have to think about that at all. You should tell him to F off and call him a cheating douchebag. HE doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. YOU can do whatever you like as well. And what you should be doing is ignoring every single contact he makes. Do not respond to emails or texts, hang up if he calls, slam the door on him if he knocks. That is NC. and i hate myself for not hating him after all that hes done to me. I hate for caring so much. I wish i did not have this heart either. i can't wait til the day hes finally out of my life and i've moved on.
JohnsonBaby Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 You can't let go because of your ego,this has little to do with feelings you can't take rejection that's why you can't let go . He reaches out cuz although he doesn't want a relationship with you he wants u to want him ,also in this case ,for his ago.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 and i hate myself for not hating him after all that hes done to me. I hate for caring so much. I wish i did not have this heart either. i can't wait til the day hes finally out of my life and i've moved on. You have to make the steps to get him out of your life. You are an active participant in your own life -- it's time for you to do something instead of sitting on the sideline saying woe is me. You're the one making it complicated because you don't have a backbone or any self-respect. You're honestly letting this guy stay with you? What's your problem? Things aren't going to get better until YOU take the steps to make them better. So do it and stop dawdling around. Go No Contact and stay that way.
Recommended Posts