moimeme Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 actually i have read many times that couples that live together before getting married have a higher rate of divorce than couples that do not live together before marriage. The theory behind that is that those who refuse to live together before marriage are the religious sorts who also believe that people should never divorce. I don't think divorce is a good measure of marital success. You have to ask both partners if they're happy or if they'd rather not be married to that person to get a useful result out of that kind of study.
gersanos Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 actually i have read many times that couples that live together before getting married have a higher rate of divorce than couples that do not live together before marriage. There have been numerous psychological studies that have confirmed this. The divorce rate is much higher if you live together before you get married, rather than move in once you get married. Perhaps religion, or personal values/morals/principles, etc., prevent some people to live together prior to marriage, but the gist of it is quite simple, and we read it all over this forum. Take things slow! Assuming that both parties want to get married, and if they live together prior to marriage, then much of what comes with marriage is invalidated. Not living together prior to marriage is something to look forward to. It is a new experience that the couple will go through and discover. If you live together prior to marriage, then that entire new experience does not await for you when you tie the knot. So you get a name change and make it official. In a sense, the passion and magic that comes with the wedding day is not there. I am not a religious zealot, and although I used to think that it's important to live together prior to getting married to see if you can live with the person, I don't share that view anymore. I'd rather take things slow and date someone by progressing through the stages, and then decide to move in once we decide to get married and experience it. Why rush towards moving in asap, and when it doesn't work out claim that we couldn't live with one another? The reality is that you can be able to live with many different types of people. The main ingrediant that is required is space, as well as effective communication. For those couples that live together prior to marriage and do not divorce after getting married, then they were in a healthy relationsip that did include space for each other to grow as individuals, and effective communication to convey needs, wants, and any issues that come up.
ConfusedInOC Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by EC So I was having this discussion the other day with some girls and guys and we were discussing moving in with your bf... I wouldn't right now but eventually i of course would want to... But all the guys there had moved in with their gf's and they said it kills your sex life They said all the desire goes away. That they didnt want to pounce on their gf''s anymore because she was always there..That passionate sex was no more and that they were miserable now. They said they loved their gf's but that they were actually contemplating cheating because their sex life plummeted!? Is this true? How sad is that? If you do move in together though, and you love each other, shouldn't you always want to jump each other? And if this is true how do you keep your bf interested in jumping on you? My ex once made the comment that it's good we're not married. We'd be like bunnies. I tend to believe her at least for the first year. But after that, unless you do something to keep the spice going, you can get into a rut. I think if you want to keep your sex life interesting - don't cave in to a pattern of normalcy.
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