melissacus Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 About a week or so ago I posted a thread about my (now ex) boyfriend being distant emotion and communication wise. Here's the link. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/524336-perspective-desired-why-my-man-so-avoidant We broke things off entirely and we haven't spoken in over a week. Of course, he didn't talk to me about it, there was no communication whatsoever, no "closure", no exchange of goodbyes, nothing. The last time we talked was over a text, he said I was too emotional for him, he couldn't deal with it anymore, good bye. I attempted to call him twice, he didn't pick up. This, of course, frustrated me, hurt me, confused me, made me angry. The next day I left him a brief text saying that he was right, we should end things, bla bla bla, and I wasn't too nice about it (Somewhere in there I told him he was acting like a child), Since then, we haven't spoken. It's not difficult for me to not reach out to him, I'm not even sad we broke up. I know I did the right thing and am happy we are done because I know he could never make me happy. But every once in awhile, like currently, I'll start to miss him and begin to wonder if I had made a mistake. If maybe I had done this differently, or talked to him this way, or put more effort in, if I hadn't had such high expectations, etc, maybe things could have worked out. Maybe I was the reason we didn't work. Simply put: I begin to blame myself for the relationship not working out. Wise love shack friends, input's desired. Why are these feelings surfacing every so often? Remind me that this was the RIGHT decision.
fluidian Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 The only thing you need to know is precisely what you said: "I'm not even sad we broke up" If you really wanted it to work out and really wanted him back, you'd feel sad about it, but a neutrally emotional break-up, suggests that there really wasn't anything there when it ended. Those type of break-ups are nice, as they're super easy to move on from. Don't look back, look forward to someone new.
jen1447 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 It's just separation anxiety hon. Perfectly normal. You'll be fine. An YES, you did the right thing if that's what your gut's telling you.
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