Her interest seems to have waned after the first date. What went wrong?

[MoonlightDragon]

Can you tell me what I did wrong, or even more simply, what the hell happened with this? I think I ****ed it up with a girl I'm seeing, not sure how.

 

We had been sexting for about two weeks, then we went on a first date last monday, thought it went really well (tongue kissed and squeezed her nipples in a public park) and we chatted throughout the week (this was a holiday week so we couldn't see each other easily). We sorta stopped sexting, although two days ago I described how I would go down on her on facebook and she said she found it hot, although it was a far cry from pictures and videos of her doing things with her fingers.

 

Anyway, as the week progressed, I think her attraction started to wane. I asked her in the week if we could meet up, because she said many times she had a free house, but then it wasn't possible because her family was home, strange I know. Yesterday I asked her to go to lunch with me at college but she couldn't because she had no lessons until the end of the day, so she wouldn't be coming in. No other date was specified for lunch, and I didn't ask again yet because I don't want to look needy. Today I saw her as I was waiting for the bus after school. We talked, but there was no physical contact at all plus she said that she was waiting for her mum, but that she didn't know which car park it was and that it might be the other one so she left after a few minutes to search for her mum.

 

Finally, on facebook, the past two days I got only one 'x' from her as we go to sleep whereas in the past it had been three or four. Plus, any time I mentioned calling to her, for example ''I'd love to call you, tell me if you're cool with that'' she says ''yeah sure'' but it never happens. (This could be down to a logistical error though - the day before we went on the date, I broke my phone and so gave her my mother's number, because i would be borrowing my mum's phone just in case she couldn't make it. I said she could delete it afterwards. I then called her on Thursday with my mum's phone, but she didn't pick up, and never mentioned it. Not sure if she saw some random number and didn't want to call back, or she didn't want to draw attention to it).

 

Did we talk too much to sustain interest? (basically every day, although both her and I started conversations. I planned to not talk to her for a day but then she started a conversation, so it didn't seem like she's not that into me. Yesterday she said good night quite early, although this might be because it was a school night). I admit, I did get a little lovestruck, which may have trickled down to her a little - she posted a selfie on tumblr and I complimented her on it, saying she looked hot, even after it had been deleted; also, I asked her for her twitter, although that led to some teasing on our tweets so that seemed alright. I don't think it's the friendzone, because she knows that there's sexual things between us.

 

KEEP IN MIND: this is from the perspective of someone who, until this morning, had fallen hard and so may have over-analysed every little thing. I seem to be almost over that now, and I sort of feel like it might already be over because of how she's acting. Perhaps she felt the same way today.

 

ONE MORE THING: a few days before the date last Monday she said she liked me and I said I liked her and that was when we agreed to go on a date. She wanted me to be her boyfriend, I told her that we should go on a date before deciding. During the date, she asked ''am I your gf now'' and I said yes. I may have perhaps acted too much like a boyfriend - could it be that despite what she said, when it comes to actions being a bf and gf isn't what she wants?

 

Is there anything I can do? Does this look like a goner to you? Would giving a break of a few days and then asking her out or just sexting her increase or lessen interest? (We have a lesson last period tomorrow. I don't sit with her due to a seating plan. There's a 10 minute break before the lesson starts, and she might come up at the last minute so initiating a conversation might be possible, but a hug or contact might not be because we're not that into each other yet. Does that mean no possibility of contact tomorrow either? We also have a lesson on Wednesday after lunch. Should I ask her to lunch again, or should I wait for her outside, or do nothing?)

 

(And for those who think I sound like I overthink things - which I do - this is only my second relationship, and the first I broke off after two weeks, and this looks to be going the same way, so experience is sort of zero).

[wizer]

One X instead of 4 X's is a really bad sign.

 

An even worse sign is that you "fell hard" for a girl you've only known a few weeks and met once.

 

In fact I'd go so far as to say she probably picked up on that and that's what caused the demise of what could have been a really good thing.

 

Girls don't want guys who fall hard for them, they want strong, independent guys who are in reasonably good control of themselves.

 

You want to fix what you probably broke? Don't contact her at all. Let her come find you and when she does, don't go right for the sexting and don't ask her how she feels about you or any other questions for that matter, because it's just weak and unattractive.

Edited April 21, 2015 by wizer

[fitnessfan365]

Usually how it works, is that you get a number, make plans ASAP, hit it off in person, and then you start sexting, etc as you have more and more dates and you start f**king. However, sexting for two weeks with a perfect stranger is a complete waste of time.

 

Chances are, she was flying high off the sexting going into the first date. Then the real life version didn't do it for her, and that's why she disappearing. But try not to take it personally man. No man will ever be able to compete with the fantasies women create in their mind. That's why you want her based in reality when you meet her. That way you can start to build attraction based on who you are, and not the graphic erotica she's made up in her mind.

[KatZee]

Yeah, this was totally done all a$_s backwards.

 

Sexting with a stranger? How does this even work? How do you know there's even a connection with this person?

 

She probably had this entire fantasy made up in her head, she met you in real life and all she heard was: "woommmpp wommppppppp."