Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 Just because your lover doesn't want to bang your head into the headboard every time he sees you doesn't mean he is loosing interest. If the roles were reversed and you were tired would that mean you were loosing interest in him? Probably not. Try not to stress and get a toy OMG I can't stop laughing!!!
fitnessfan365 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Just because your lover doesn't want to bang your head into the headboard every time he sees you doesn't mean he is loosing interest. If the roles were reversed and you were tired would that mean you were loosing interest in him? Probably not. Try not to stress and get a toy They're only seeing each other once a week. I mean it would be different if they were seeing each other 4-5x a week. Then I agree that sex every time isn't necessary. Sometimes people aren't in the mood or they're legitimately tired. However, when you're only getting together once a week like they are, sex should happen every time.
Gaeta Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 I didn't cook him one thing the first four months we were datingg and got yelled at in another thread for not doing so. And I believe I was among the people yelling at you, well raising my voice :-) Do you understand why you now know him on a whole different level? Because you did what we wanted you to do back in February!! You stopped mirroring him and showed your true nature by becoming nurturing. Had you done that 3 months ago maybe this could turn into a relationship but, in my opinion, it's too late now. 2
writergal Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 WRITERGAL!!!! :love: Love your post! You've been with me six months ago when he used to take 36 hours to respond to a text!! Now he's texting me throughout the day and we see each other on a consistent basis. Despite the "no bf/gf talk," things have definitely changed for the better, although the "no sex" thing really has me worried. It's not consistent with his typically horny behavior. But you've validated my feelings…there are a lot of extenuating circumstances to why he may not want to fool around. Guess I shouldn't be so hasty to think it's all about me. :love:writer gal:love: Thank you!! :love: Pumpkin my dear I know how you think!! It's very hasty to think it's all about you, because it can't be. It takes two to tango, and two to jenga. It only takes one to lose interest and when that happens, it's pretty obvious. Just like the others have said, his sudden disinterest in daily head-banging sex-i-sodes doesn't mean he's lost interest at all. On the contrary. Things are good, so look at it that way. After that 6 month honeymoon period ends, sex isn't usually on the daily regular menu like it once was. Take advice from our pal Frankie Goes to Hollywood, "shoot it in the right direction/Make making it your intention-ooh yeah/Live those dreams /Scheme those schemes," and hit Doc1 with your laser beams (the same way the Fembots hit Austin Powers with theirs haha)! The mood hasn't left him, it's just not there as often as it used to be. Welcome to the "reality zone" which is located next door to the Twilight Zone, the same way Kansas City, Missouri, is located next to Kansas City, Kansas. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Kind of an abstract comment here, but I've found that sexually advanced men and sexually advanced women don't often actually operate at the same speed for the longterm. We may be both categorically voracious, but ....well, to be blunt, men generally can't keep up. So as others have said, his true baseline may simply have been revealed here, and while he was giving you the frequency and intensity you needed in the semi-short term, he may not be able to sustain it longterm. I'm not talking about age or health in particular, just that the basic upper tier aggressive female libido prototype is a hard mark to sustain for any guy. If everything else seems ok in his case, it could be as simple as that. Is a moderate downturn something you could live with, maybe augmented by masturbation? Haha.. This is kind of a sweeping generalization. I could seriously have sex 3x a day seven days a week. According to the doctor, my testosterone levels are unnaturally high, and combined with my workout regiment and healthy diet, forget about it. However, I haven't met a woman yet that has the type of sex drive you're claiming exists in "sexually advanced women". Would love to find one though..LOL
writergal Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 And I believe I was among the people yelling at you, well raising my voice :-) Do you understand why you now know him on a whole different level? Because you did what we wanted you to do back in February!! You stopped mirroring him and showed your true nature by becoming nurturing. Had you done that 3 months ago maybe this could turn into a relationship but, in my opinion, it's too late now. Noooo, it's never too late Gaeta. Just ask Helen Keller! Pumpkin is slowly letting go and letting Gaeta, so to speak. She's relaxing. She's letting Doc1 see who she really is. So, a relationship is still possible. After all, if that song "Friday, Friday" can make it off YouTube into Nickelodeon Junior, bald men can regrow their hair, and George Bush Jr can learn how to spell the word "potato" without the "e" then anything really IS possible!! Have hope Pumpkin. See what happens. That's all anyone can do when they are in a relationship with someone. You can't control the outcome of any relationship, no matter who it's with. 2
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 They're only seeing each other once a week. I mean it would be different if they were seeing each other 4-5x a week. Then I agree that sex every time isn't necessary. Sometimes people aren't in the mood or they're legitimately tired. However, when you're only getting together once a week like they are, sex should happen every time. We saw each other three times in the past ten days, and had great sex on date two. No sex on the first or third date. On the dates there was no sex, there was affection and hugging, (not really foreplay, but just tenderness). Then the yawning started, and then "I gotta take a painkiller, I'm sleepy." Weird when we have had sex every single time up to two weeks ago. He has been in greater pain and we've done it. But as Writergal said, there are a lot of facets to why this could be and not worry about it. 1
Gary S Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Noooo, it's never too late Gaeta. Just ask Helen Keller! Pumpkin is slowly letting go and letting Gaeta, so to speak. She's relaxing. She's letting Doc1 see who she really is. So, a relationship is still possible. After all, if that song "Friday, Friday" can make it off YouTube into Nickelodeon Junior, bald men can regrow their hair, and George Bush Jr can learn how to spell the word "potato" without the "e" then anything really IS possible!! Have hope Pumpkin. See what happens. That's all anyone can do when they are in a relationship with someone. You can't control the outcome of any relationship, no matter who it's with. - This is true... if love is still there, you can still kick the level up by doing the right things... whether it's after 6 months, or ten years. If it's still runnin' down the road, ya can tune it up! 1
Gaeta Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Mark my word, In 3 months we will be back here talking about the same issue. 3
writergal Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 - This is true... if love is still there, you can still kick the level up by doing the right things... whether it's after 6 months, or ten years. If it's still runnin' down the road, ya can tune it up! Exactly! Otherwise, why would people drive 50 year old classic cars? They wouldn't if they couldn't fine tune them so that they run better. People and relationships are the same way as cars. You need to fine tune a relationship when it reaches a certain point. It's called: relationship maintenance. Every so often, change the oil, replace the wiper blades, give it a good vacuum and keep it clean so that the ride will be smooth. 2
Gary S Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Yes, relationships take work to maintain. The good news is, if you keep the love flowin' and the good times rollin', the love you feel pays overtime. It's good work if ya can get it 1
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 And I believe I was among the people yelling at you, well raising my voice :-) Do you understand why you now know him on a whole different level? Because you did what we wanted you to do back in February!! You stopped mirroring him and showed your true nature by becoming nurturing. Had you done that 3 months ago maybe this could turn into a relationship but, in my opinion, it's too late now. Gaeta, if i started cooking for him and showing my nurturing nature back then, he would have pulled a Julia Roberts and ran for the hills like the Runaway Bride. There was no reason to cook for him back then, really, other than to chase him with my talents. Chasing does not work with a man like that. Now that he's recuperating, it is sooo much more meaningful because he REALLY needs someone to cook warm fresh food. He is grateful and appreciates it because, as I said before, he couldn't even wipe his ass. I can see the glaze in his eyes as he's eating, how happy he is post meal, and how his compliments continue into the next day with sweet texts. We had known each other for four months; yet, he didn't know I could cook. So the surprise in his eyes when I first made him dinner….straight from David Lebovitz's new cookbook, along with an entire dessert made for 16 people: Priceless. Timing is everything. 1
jen1447 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Haha.. This is kind of a sweeping generalization. I could seriously have sex 3x a day seven days a week. According to the doctor, my testosterone levels are unnaturally high, and combined with my workout regiment and healthy diet, forget about it. However, I haven't met a woman yet that has the type of sex drive you're claiming exists in "sexually advanced women". Would love to find one though..LOL You really need to broaden your horizons. (And I'll refrain from taking advantage of that obvious opening you left yourself vulnerable to there ....I'm nice that way. ) 2
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 Exactly! Otherwise, why would people drive 50 year old classic cars? They wouldn't if they couldn't fine tune them so that they run better. People and relationships are the same way as cars. You need to fine tune a relationship when it reaches a certain point. It's called: relationship maintenance. Every so often, change the oil, replace the wiper blades, give it a good vacuum and keep it clean so that the ride will be smooth. I love your analogies. Especailly when you incorporating pop culture from the '80s! 1
writergal Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Gaeta, if i started cooking for him and showing my nurturing nature back then, he would have pulled a Julia Roberts and ran for the hills like the Runaway Bride. There was no reason to cook for him back then, really, other than to chase him with my talents. Chasing does not work with a man like that. Now that he's recuperating, it is sooo much more meaningful because he REALLY needs someone to cook warm fresh food. He is grateful and appreciates it because, as I said before, he couldn't even wipe his ass. I can see the glaze in his eyes as he's eating, how happy he is post meal, and how his compliments continue into the next day with sweet texts. We had known each other for four months; yet, he didn't know I could cook. So the surprise in his eyes when I first made him dinner….straight from David Lebovitz's new cookbook, along with an entire dessert made for 16 people: Priceless. Timing is everything. ^^This! Yes! You have good instincts where timing in relationships is concerned Pumpkin. 1
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 Mark my word, In 3 months we will be back here talking about the same issue. I beg your pardon, Madame! This isn't about asking for commitment like the 26-page thread. This thread is about I'm wondering about if he lost interest because the sex seems to be dwindling. 1
writergal Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 I love your analogies. Especailly when you incorporating pop culture from the '80s! Thanks! You too! Runaway Bride reference was perfect! :laugh: 1
Gaeta Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 I beg your pardon, Madame! This isn't about asking for commitment like the 26-page thread. This thread is about I'm wondering about if he lost interest because the sex seems to be dwindling. lol je suis désolé. Same thing :-) 1
Gaeta Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Exactly! Otherwise, why would people drive 50 year old classic cars? They wouldn't if they couldn't fine tune them so that they run better. People and relationships are the same way as cars. You need to fine tune a relationship when it reaches a certain point. It's called: relationship maintenance. Every so often, change the oil, replace the wiper blades, give it a good vacuum and keep it clean so that the ride will be smooth. I believe the difference is bonding. Pumpkin and her man have not bond yet after 6 months. It's not going to happen. If after 6 months he still sees her once a week only, and now that once a week he is not interested in sex for no apparent reason, I say he now sees her more as a dear friend than anything else.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 You really need to broaden your horizons. (And I'll refrain from taking advantage of that obvious opening you left yourself vulnerable to there ....I'm nice that way. ) Haha.. I've never taken steroids in my life woman. But I have thick skin and appreciate a woman with a feisty smart ass personality. I will say though, that I continue to meet two different types of women. Type A - Decent libido, and adventurous in bed. She's very playful, and loves mental stimulation. She can banter, flirt, loves innuendos, and keeps me on my toes. Plus, she knows how to please me visually with sexy attire, lingerie, etc.. The combo keeps me very satisfied on a sexual level both mentally/physically. However, it never winds up being a great long term ft. Type B - Really nice, sweet, and down to earth. Things in common, easy to talk to, communicates well, and loyal. But is extremely guarded sexually and uptight in bed. These are the types of women that mistake my naturally playful personality for me "only wanting sex".
xxoo Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 I'm just scared one day he'll say "Sweetie, we can't do this," and then I'll look like a sucker. Why do you think you'd look like a sucker?
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 and George Bush Jr can learn how to spell the word "potato" without the "e" then anything really IS possible!! "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -- George W. Bush (for reals he said that.) 1
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 I could seriously have sex 3x a day seven days a week. If we were dating, we wouldn't get anything done. Except each other. But alas, I am wildly and amorously attached to a recovering invalid 15 years my senior.
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 I believe the difference is bonding. Pumpkin and her man have not bond yet after 6 months. It's not going to happen. If after 6 months he still sees her once a week only, and now that once a week he is not interested in sex for no apparent reason, I say he now sees her more as a dear friend than anything else. There might be some truth to that, but I also believe he has a lot on his plate and a relationship is not a priority to him; nor should it be. In between the time I posted that 26-page thread and today, I tried to put myself in his shoes. He's 56, been an invalid as of the last year, slowed down his career by 70 percent, faced with multiple operations. Would I want to pursue a serious relationship in that condition, knowing I couldn't offer the girl my best? He could also be thinking I might bolt at any time, being the younger healthier one not wanting to be tied down to an old man. He could also be thinking he's at an age where he doesn't want to F-around anymore but be serious, so he's not going to jump into something hastily without giving it due diligence time development, since all of his past relationships have failed. I'm continuing to date others maybe once a month, if even that. I am keeping my options open, but I am also there for him when he needs me because I DO care about him. We have so much fun together, and that's the best we can do at this moment. Life is so short and crappy. I want him to be happy.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 If we were dating, we wouldn't get anything done. Except each other. But alas, I am wildly and amorously attached to a recovering invalid 15 years my senior. Hahahaha.. I said I could. But that doesn't mean I expect that in a relationship. I mean if you're having daily sex, you never get any space away from each other. To me, mental stimulation and anticipation is just as hot as sex. So I like a bit of time apart to receive a dirty text with a pic from you, or have some suggestive banter/flirtation, etc.. That is the type of interaction that makes me want to rip a woman's clothes off and be aggressive in the bedroom. For me personally, I think sex 4x a week is ideal. It's regular enough to satisfy needs while leaving some room for both people to have their own lives.
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