stopping Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Many year relationship where I was the dumpee. Having rarely fought for any relationship, I vowed to try very hard to hang in there and be faithful because I wanted the relationship to happen again. During this time, I have been transformed into an item of conveyance whose interactions were mostly to absolve the feelings of the dumper. What made me finally see the light was the very end of this exchange.... dumper I am sorry you are insecure about this..... Dumpee Even with my limited power of observation can see the point you are trying to make. Goodbye... Dumper : Please do not give up on me. It has been almost a full twenty four hours since the dumper sent me that last message. The do not give up on me is to have me on the back burner as option b if her life does not turn out the way she wants. This is my NC diary and benchmark celebration thread.... It is not about getting her back or having vengence...It is about transformation from a thing to an equal person for the next relationship. This being an item is Stopping now...
seminoles84 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Dumper : Please do not give up on me. Typical. Got the same BS. Definitely placing you on the backburner, glad you recognize that. 1
Author stopping Posted April 21, 2015 Author Posted April 21, 2015 Typical. Got the same BS. Definitely placing you on the backburner, glad you recognize that. Yep definite back burner. Nothing from her since that do not give up on me ploy for attention. This no contact will be great for healing
NC-Thomas Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 Glad you have gained the insight of seeing that her attitude and behavior is pointed towards her needs while lacking attention for your needs. You have the right attitude in order to gain that much needed mental health now. Keep it up.
sutsie Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 just go nc... for good. Find someone where you're not option A or B. Find one where you're the ONLY option 1
Author stopping Posted April 21, 2015 Author Posted April 21, 2015 Soon I will be able to wake up and not count the days. I might have thought that the last transmitted message of "Please don't give up on me." would have been followed up with some serious correspondence if she was serious. I knew she was pulling strings and my no response has been met with in kind. Growth has occurred with the knowledge that if I cave that it will change nothing and put me back to square one with any of the goals I hope to achieve. Soon it will be past me...just not yet...so I stay resolute in this for me
Author stopping Posted April 21, 2015 Author Posted April 21, 2015 Noon today brings the Day Three dance.... Strike up the band and everyone dance with me....
Author stopping Posted April 21, 2015 Author Posted April 21, 2015 I step into the sun...soak in it's rays...I realize that I am so much more than how this person treated me... Day Three I love you...looking forward to your friend D4.... Keep on fighting the good fight...I am worth it
Author stopping Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 I am allowing breadcrumbs in keeping one line of communication if she definitely states what I want to hear and to be a person and not a thing to her. So two of them came in. Background. Tues is one of her slower days so boredom is much more likely to set in on this day than others. The first was an emotional tug. Her office had a lunch/dinner somewhere where we ate. Informed me that it has not improved since we went. I met this with silence. Secondly was a later night text before going to sleep. In it she wishes me good fortune to one of the few important things on my schedule she still knows about. After that one liner she launches into how she still hopes we can work on things and that she can not see a future without me in it. This to the same person that she said I am sorry you are so insecure....blah..blah..blah.. My impressions... 1. Took too much valuable time of mine thinking and writing this post LOL. 2. The only difference is that this is a novelty that I am not at her beck and call. It is not out of being curious about me that she contacts. More of the mystery that I did not jump through hoop A when the treat was shown. Will she resort to a different treat or go away? 3. I still allow to much sway of my emotions to be dictated by her. I got a charge out of this text. A truly healthy person would have met this would apathy or disinterest. So I am stuck in a situation...Interest might by generated by the fact that I am not jumping when called. If I call then the interest goes away. Would like to be part of her life but I am not even a person to her right now (or maybe ever) Day 4 is coming up on noon...soon I will stop counting the days and I will grin Wish me fortune everyone...TY for listening
Author stopping Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 I wonder if it is better for me to know that an attempt is made by the ex or to have just blocked everything out completely.. I get a message now to pick up the phone and call.... I do not feel anything like elation...more of disappointment in myself that I can not help this person out a little emotionally and still be okay on my journey. In the end I would not be fine if I broke this...I know it as well.... even after going through these initial stages...I want the best for her...she just does not see that in me...it is what it is
Author stopping Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 I am losing track of what day number this is with NC...the other days as it approached noon I would know...today I can take a good guess but would not bet on it.... Status Update : 1. She involved my parents...she got them to email me telling me that she asks to give her a call. I have chosen to not respond to my parent's email. They do not have good poker faces and she would know if I was in contact with them because of her. She would take this as vindication... 2. In all other areas besides this one, life is very good. I have work to do every day but other than that I have decided to take a vacation from my worries. Tropical music, relaxation, meditation, and loving to laugh. I am going to watch some funny clips so I can chuckle. so see you all here at my mental beach..
Recommended Posts