j_mysterio Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Its been 7 days since I've last talked to my ex girlfriend. Last Monday she sent me a long text after a few days of NC saying she can't do it anymore and that she doesn't want to put herself in the same position again. I told her to call me. She was very cold and angry... I tend to talk over her sometimes and that makes her mad... She told me to shut up and listen...then She told me she's seeing someone and that I need to quit contacting her. She said "its none of my business but have you been dating anyone?" And I replied "no, I've just been hanging with friends". She then proceeded to tell me she's the happiest she's ever been and blah blah. I told her I love her and her daughter (no begging/pleading but you could hear it in my voice that I was hurt)... We said our goodbyes and here I am. Trying not to hurt/obsess over her but its really hard.
PegNosePete Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 See, this is why you shouldn't have broken NC. She used you as an emotional tampon. Make it permanent this time! 2
Author j_mysterio Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 The long text pissed me off/hurt me... I was weak so I texted her to call me. Wrong answer, I know.
PegNosePete Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 If you're weak then you can get apps that auto-delete texts and ignore calls from certain numbers.
Toodaloo Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Do not ever contact her again. If she contacts you ignore her and delete. Oh my lordy this one is rude. Leave her well alone. But if you have been behaving like a snivelling wreck I can't say I blame her.
Author j_mysterio Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 When you're in the position its hard to tell the difference between a wreck and someone who believes in love growing stronger during hard times. I don't believe I've ever went over board. Just broke NC a few times. I believe it was hot/cold/hot/cold... Mentally wearing on her.
Toodaloo Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 When you're in the position its hard to tell the difference between a wreck and someone who believes in love growing stronger during hard times. I don't believe I've ever went over board. Just broke NC a few times. I believe it was hot/cold/hot/cold... Mentally wearing on her. Well time to just move on as she is clearly beginning to detest you. Trust me do not go back there. From now on No contact means just that for your own sanity.
PegNosePete Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 its hard to tell the difference between a wreck and someone who believes in love growing stronger during hard times There is no difference. Love grows stronger during the good times. It is tested during the hard times. When a hard time comes you better hope you built up enough in storage during the good times to last through it!
Author j_mysterio Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 I've had 3 serious girlfriends... All of them have broke up with me (yeah I know... I'm the ****ed one lol). I don't know what my problem is... I'm always the one holding on... It makes me feel weak for being strong. I'm a 26 year old man... I'm a damn man... Why am I the weak one? It's frustrating. I guess I just don't have a "let go you dumbass" sensor in my brain.
Author j_mysterio Posted April 20, 2015 Author Posted April 20, 2015 And no... This isn't a pity party. Its just becoming a routine
Satu Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Block her from everything. Save yourself the heartache.
ZiggyZoo Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Well, congratulations on the first week of NC anyway! That is no small feat, so be proud of that. Hang in there, it'll get better. 2
Author j_mysterio Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 So I made it to day 8. I keep watching youtube videos, reading articles, they all contradict eachother on what to do... I tried to speed up the process, which I know is wrong, but I did it with a "she loves me... this could work" attitude. I know, I'm wrong, dead wrong. I texted her about a certain song that I couldn't remember who wrote it... and told her I couldn't find it. She responded with a "Dont be using my songs for a cd you're making for another girl". I told her I wasnt... she gave me the song, little texts led to a phone call. She called me. She already has a new bf, I knew this before the phone call. I tried to avoid relationship talk... she dragged me down to that though. She told me she misses me, she wouldnt say she loves me but I told her that I know she loves me, she didnt disagree. I said how do you love someone but be with another guy, she said "he knows"... that I love her. Weird, right? Makes no sense to me. she called me 3 more times that day... we talked about our lives and random stuff. She said she wished I could be there for her first competition this weekend (bikini fitness) and that part of the reason she keeps pushing herself is because of me, with the fitness stuff and it makes her sad. She knows I cant be there... cause the boyfriend... she talked about how I never acccepted the way she dresses and she has a whole new lifestyle that I wouldnt be okay with (gym, gym, gym. I told her I didnt fall in love with her for her clothes or her lifestyle... i fell in love with her for who she is and can be. As we got off the phone she said "we cant do this, i have a boyfriend". I didnt agree with her.... she said "dont make me block you". I said "I wont" then we said bye. We texted a little bit after that... and went to sleep. I woke up and texted her things I shouldnt have like "I love you and I will steal your heart back. No matter how long it takes beautiful". She called me about an hour after that... she didnt seem like she had much to say... just wanted to hear my voice or something. Talked for a second and I told her I love her and bye(she didnt say it, but i know she wanted to). A few hours later... after getting a little clear headed from talking to a friend I sent her "I'm going to respect your boyfriend and not contact you again. If things change down the road, hit me up" Just an update to my pathetic fncked up stupid mess of a life im making for myself. My friend promised me to talk to me at any point in time that I think about talking to her... to be my savior. I's pretty fncked it hurts my feelings to say "I cant talk to you anymore" when she has a boyfriend.
Author j_mysterio Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 Day 0. No neeeeeed to say it. I know. 1
Satu Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 It will get easier. *No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. 1
NC-Thomas Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I guess you're one of the guys that needs to learn to hard way. You know what to do. 1
Author j_mysterio Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 I'm a black and white type of person. This whole thing is a MINDFNCK to me. Ive never experienced anything like this is my life. The feelings, reactions, anxiety, loneliness, hesitation, denial... the list goes on.
Satu Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I'm a black and white type of person. This whole thing is a MINDFNCK to me. Ive never experienced anything like this is my life. The feelings, reactions, anxiety, loneliness, hesitation, denial... the list goes on. Once you come out of the other end of this you'll be wiser, and you'll know yourself much better. That will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life. Onward, into the (eventual) sunshine. 2
NC-Thomas Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Once you come out of the other end of this you'll be wiser, and you'll know yourself much better. That will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life. Yes! Getting over a heartbreak is just an investment in yourself. 1
Author j_mysterio Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 I see what you two are saying! This one is the worst by far... I'll grow, in time. 1
Satu Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I see what you two are saying! This one is the worst by far... I'll grow, in time. It might not feel like it, but you're actually doing OK. NC.
joseb Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide Read it. Follow it. It really is that simple. Of course you are going through hell, but it's only going to go on a lot longer if you keep contacting her. But it will get better. 1
spiderowl Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I guess you're one of the guys that needs to learn to hard way. You know what to do. I think sometimes people are a bit harsh on here. The guy is fighting with himself and that's not easy to do. We all have our weak moments, even if the other half of us knows it's a mistake to do certain things. I'm sure the OP is listening and struggling with all this. 1
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