genentec Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 I am an emotional guy and I've gotten in an over-caring situation on a relationship that has an expiry date. Been together for 2 years, I am 21, she is 2 years older and from a different country and currently I am in college and she is working in DC (I try to see her every weekend) this is what I wrote tonight: “I want some time to myself”, had me at the bottom of her list for a while “We’re not on the same page” Had a one night stand with a friend of mine she never told me the whole story Can’t get the way she cares about me (she just doesn’t care about stuff!) Makes me feel like an idiot for not acting like a conventional man Full of surprises, makes me wonder (drunk night, little lies, all about money) Often cold, mostly indifferent, won’t listen/trust me I love her too much and it hurts I don’t deserve such behavior I’ve built hatred in me and contained anger I care too much, can’t help giving her everything Can’t play games and pretend everything is alright Need to become a conventional man and hook up with a million girls to become mature, build a heart of stone, treat women like trash and draw pleasure out of having sex with strangers. Maybe most of this is just in my head, maybe it's immature, the only sure thing is I don't have the courage to break up any advice?
Merin Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Someone who would cheat on you, lie to you and go out of thier way to hurt you isn't what being in Love is or shoud be about... My take is you know that this isn't good for you, and really it isn't even making you happy but you're allowing fear to drive you... The known is what you've got now, and the unknown can be scary... so at this time you want to hold on to the misery you know out of fear of being alone and not finding something else. You CAN find the courage to break up with this girl... and truth be told things between the 2 of you will never change IF YOU don't INSIST on it... that means ending this so there isn't any doubt at all in her mind that this isn't okay with you and you're NOT having it.
Marshbear Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 I agree. You need to end it or you will drive yourself crazy. To much anger is not healthy and may cause you to do things you wouldn't otherwise do. Release your anger and find someone who respects you. Maybe she just isn't for you. Have the courage to let go and find the one who feels as you do. Often cold, mostly indifferent, won’t listen/trust meis this someone you want in your life? Women when they aren't interested or have checked out of the relationship will ignore and be cold and distant. Either way not good for you. If you can't take her treatment of you then why are still there? I know it hurts to end things but you will improve with time and find someone worthy of you....
johan Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Whether you end it or not, this relationship won't last. You don't even know what you want from a woman. You're just letting her give you whatever she decides to give you. You'll take it, because you're just glad to have her. This relationship will be nothing more than a learning experience, and hopefully you learn good lessons that make you better. As opposed to becoming cynical and misogynisitic. You could become just like her if you aren't careful, Mr. Conventional.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 The above advice is good. Maybe you should explore with friends or a therapist why you have ended up in a relationship where you are doing most of the giving? Originally posted by johan This relationship will be nothing more than a learning experience, and hopefully you learn good lessons that make you better. As opposed to becoming cynical and misogynisitic. You could become just like her if you aren't careful, Mr. Conventional. Yes! The worse thing that could possible happen to you hasn't happened yet - for you to become a user like her. This just perpetuates the pain. Far better to be wronged than to wrong someone else.
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