Follow your heart or your rational brain?

[Seal7]

When it comes to relationships is it better to follow your heart or your rational brain? What are the dangers in following one to the exclusion of the other? If there is a conflict between what the rational brain says vs. what the heart says then which one should come first when making a decision?

 

I am usually the kind of guy to let my rational brain rule my decisions in most matters of life and I don't see why it should be any different when it comes to relationships. If I have to follow one to the exclusion of the other then I would be safe letting my rational brain dictate my decisions about who to get into a relationship with. I can trust my rational brain to protect my interests and keep me out of trouble.

 

I'll give an example. There's this woman I've worked with for a long time and in the last 8 months I have developed feelings for her. Maybe I am falling in love with her or maybe not. I feel I would do anything for this woman. She is single and I'm single. As far as workplace policy is concerned there is nothing written that forbids colleagues from dating. It seems like there's a few married couples there who work together.

 

Anyway there is a conflict going on between my rational brain and my heart. My heart desires to go for it and ask her out and see what happens. My rational brain says don't bother and that since we work together she is off limits. I have never before dated anyone from work mostly because it has been a self imposed policy and I haven't been interested in anyone or even my current crush until as of 8 months ago.

 

I'm not saying it is easy to stick with what my rational brain tells me to do. It is painful in the meantime but I believe I am reaping long term rewards from it such as being spared all the trouble that can come from dating someone at work. I'm not one to play games with my job security and I don't intend to start now.

 

But I am interested in generating some discussion about following the heart vs. the rational brain. I can see alot of dangers in following the heart to the exclusion of the rational brain but I can't imagine there's any danger in following the rational brain to the exclusion of the heart.

[Hawaii51]

There's a time an place for both. For me, I used my heart to figure out what I need in my life, which doesn't really include a specific woman as of yet. And, I'm using my logical side to achieve the practical means necessary to do just that. Basically I just want to have options, But in the end I realize emotions are fleeting and should be reserved for some who meets your emotions practically as well.

 

Does that even make sense?

[Satu]

You need both, and they have to agree.

[Gloria25]

Everyday a battle rages between my vagina and my brain...

 

Well, looks like my brain is winning...I mean, I can get laid right now, but is that what I want? A cheap thrill or a long-term monogamous RL doesn't involve the perceived "traditional" marriage and/or a shack-up thing?

 

BTW, I do not believe in this "heart" crap. Is "heart" a default word people go to when addressing a situation involving "feeelings" and/or "emotions"? Well, either way, my fav podcaster says that 'emotions have no I.Q.'...AND, I agree with her. "Hearts/emotions/feelings" have no I.Q. When making a practical and/or reasonable decision to pursue someone/something follow your "heart" all day and you may end up making a bad decision. Like people who make up excuses for shacking up with someone they only "dated" for two months. Boy, that is a stupid decision - but I'm sure it's made on an "emotional high" rather than rationality.

Edited April 20, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator