Losther Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Wow, My life seems like a Jerry Springer Episode. So I found out today that my best friend of 8 years is dating my ex g/f of 7 years after 2 months of us breaking up. I'm devastated. I want to kill him but have no animosity towards her. Why do i still want her back? I know I didn't treat her well, but is there any reason for this? I'm trying to cope.
moon Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Maybe take some pointers from the movie "Closer" have you seen it? It just recently came out on DVD. Sorry about your pain. That would SUCK, SUCK, SUCK. I guess what comes around goes around......Leave it in the hands of fate. I'd stay away from the both of them. They know what they are doing is wrong. They know.
BigB Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 That is NOT a best friend. Kick them both to the curb. I firmly believe that if your going to date a friend's EX, you should wait waaay longer than 2 months, and ask permission.
Author Losther Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 I just don't get it. I thought things like this didn't happen to people.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by Losther I just don't get it. I thought things like this didn't happen to people. I don't get it either. But apparently some people feel they have a licence to behave as they please. You have all my sympathy - I'd be mad in your shoes, too.
BrotherAaron Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 The same thing happened to my best friend... No, I didn't date his ex. His other best friend did. Try redirecting your animosity towards her too. You should hate them both. It's not until you realize that she's treating you like only a vile bitch would that you'll start moving on... honestly, could you ever be with her again knowing that she was having sex with your best friend?? And that she would turn around on you like that, she's hurting you and she knows it. Man, it hurts, but go find some new friends. Never talk to either of those two again. He wanted her back at first - until he realized what a bitch she really was. I wanted my ex back when she first left me for my friend (he wasn't my best friend though), and I hate him... then I slowly realized that I actually hate them both. Soon, you too will realize that you don't want her back - you just think you do because she's not coming back. If she did, though, you'd be a fool to have her. Forget about it, it's time to start telling yourself it's over and it will always be and try and get on with your life. Having her leave me even for a replaceable friend was the hardest thing that ever happened to me, but ever since I realized that she's not worth worrying about, I've been so much better and actually happy almost all the time now. It will get better, I promise - but you need to stay away from both of them and remove yourself from the situation and the drama. Let them live their Jerry Springer soap opera without you. You don't need it.
onlyhuman Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 I found out a few years ago my friend since childhood was making calls to my then girlfriend of one year.I believe on my girlfriends part it was not an affair but more a bit of attention and flirting. What she did not know was this friend called me up and declared his love for her??? I booted her out and that is the last I ever spoke to that friend, as a matter of fact his name has been erased from my memory. I look at it this way, I saved time in finding out what a bunch of scum they both were. Not easy to do but now knowing both of their recent life histories since the incident it was absolutely the right move for me. Any friend that does this is a complete and utter tool of the day. BTW, don't assume they did not already have something on the go while you were a couple!
billybadass36 Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 My exgf of two years started f**king one of my best friends about 3 months after we broke up. I said, "f**k both of them" and haven't spoken to either since. This was Four years ago. She's married now to some moron I went to school with, and he's a raging alcoholic. I'm getting married in September. It all works out.
Firesqueak Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 I have some questions: 1) why do you want to be with someone who cheats on you? 2) why do you want to be with someone who you treat like crap? After you answer these, then I will post my advice.
d'Arthez Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 FireSqueak from his post I doubt there is cheating going on. They were already broken up, as far as I can discern. Your second question is spot on. How did LostHer treat his gf? The crappier he treated her, the less she has to think of his feelings and concerns in the future. You can hate your friend all you want, but most importantly: probably you have gotten yourself in this situation in the first place, by treating her badly. People don't break up for nothing, especially after a long relationship. Don't act upon your misplaced hate. Why would you want to kill him? Is this how much you "love" her? Then you would not think of that, but hope that she finally found a man who treated her with the decency she deserves.
Firesqueak Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Thanks D'A. LOL, perhaps I should have read better before I posted that. Silly Squeak! Anyway, that's very true. You have to like who you are around someone- if someone, for whatever reasons, brings out your jealousy monster, you may want to really think about WHY you're with that person. Why be with someone who makes your temper flare? Anyway, I also feel like I need to say this- Man, you have absolutely no room to get pissed. You all broke up, the relationship was over, and it's a free country, so she can date whomever she pleases. (Unless it's a first cousin, of course. I think that's only legal in Texas, or something- ;-)) You treated her like crap (your fault) you lost her (probably your fault) she emotionally heals and finds someone better a full 8 weeks after you all broke up (good for her!!) My advice? Live and learn. Maybe you won't treat your next girl like crap!
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