Hoping for second chance. Feel stupid.

[SLee]

I appreciate it my friend. Definitely a "DIFFERENT" situation from yours but very similar to yours in a sense with family, friends and other dumb things that just added up to where I was willing to fix it but she was quite selfish and very demanding of things I had no control over but it is what it is. It's so much more to it I won't bore you with but it was a legal process to go with it which caused stress on both of us and but it cost me lots of cash and sleep lol.

 

 

To your situation... school is definitely stressful especially towards the end and it may be best that it's this way for now. I think what both of us are struggling with is that new people are in the picture and being that we appear to care for our significant others so much it's just a gut wrenching feeling that someone can just easily come along and take away what we worked hard for. Lucky for you, the emotion still appears to be there and with a man anything can happen. With women, it appears it's like the point of no return... when yall are fed up it's pretty much "peace out." I just felt like she could have broken if off better other than leading me to believe it was over a fight which didn't take place in those last days and she never looked me in the eyes to tell me she no longer loved me. All this was done over the phone and had I'd been in her presence I don't think she would have been able to do such a thing.

 

 

LDR sucks.... but that's the game I guess. I'm hoping and I'm positive your situation won't come to a complete end anytime soon and from what it sounds like time will take it's place and it's going to work out. Remember, you are a woman should you decide to test the waters you won't be free very long but just make sure you're ready if you go that route

mikeveil, I know exactly what you mean. Last year I was spending a lot of time out with my really good friend (we were both in the same, awful college major together) because she and I both really needed that outlet and to vent to someone who knew exactly what we were going through. At school we were bulled (yes, bullying at the university level!) and the faculty didn't care and even spread lies about us through the department. It was awful. He got mad at me for spending so much time with her and not with him. Was it right of me to do that? No, I don't think so. It really hurt him and I feel awful about it. But it caused stupid fights that didn't matter.

 

As for family, he and I have such different backgrounds. My family is very dysfunctional (good people, but dysfunctional) his background was idyllic, like the picture perfect family. It was hard for him to open up to the way of life when he visited my family and I felt like I was walking on eggshells between him and my family constantly, though my family loves him dearly. His family would make little throwaway comments that were not okay and hurt my feelings and did other dumb things, but he never stood up for me and would defend them tooth and nail.

 

In the end, what does that stuff REALLY matter? It was all so petty and ridiculous.

 

School is getting awful with stress and just being sick of being stuck at the undergraduate level at this point. The fun and excitement of it all has gone from it for both of us and we both face uncertain individual futures. So for now, this may be for the best. It's just not conducive to maintaining a serious longterm relationship with so much at stake (money, futures, careers, etc.) His emotions are all over the place. He's a mess, just as an individual right now. It's sad because he's not the guy I know and there's nothing I can do for him where we're at. We have our own stuff to work on for now.

 

I've never had this experience before so I can't vouch as to whether or not you're right about the men/women thing. I dated a tiny bit in high school though and as soon as I wasn't feeling it, I ended it (I was a bit of a heart breaker in high school, not proud of that.) But that would be after like ONE date to a dance or something. Nothing serious or long. My other lady friends tend to be that way though. Once they're done, they're done. Guys my age tend to be all over the place and never know what they want, so I really don't know.

 

That really sucks it all had to be done over the phone. My ex did that too me too when the day before he said we could work things out. It was horrible. He had to come home and face me though. Maybe it would have been different, but who knows. That's already in the past.

 

I hope and pray you're right and will take your wisdom to heart! I'm definitely in NO place to date right now lol! It'd just be a toxic mess. If I need to take that step it'll only be when I'm ready. I do hope things work out for you as well. You're so kind and all, you deserve that.

[mikeveli4g]

mikeveil, I know exactly what you mean. Last year I was spending a lot of time out with my really good friend (we were both in the same, awful college major together) because she and I both really needed that outlet and to vent to someone who knew exactly what we were going through. At school we were bulled (yes, bullying at the university level!) and the faculty didn't care and even spread lies about us through the department. It was awful. He got mad at me for spending so much time with her and not with him. Was it right of me to do that? No, I don't think so. It really hurt him and I feel awful about it. But it caused stupid fights that didn't matter.

 

As for family, he and I have such different backgrounds. My family is very dysfunctional (good people, but dysfunctional) his background was idyllic, like the picture perfect family. It was hard for him to open up to the way of life when he visited my family and I felt like I was walking on eggshells between him and my family constantly, though my family loves him dearly. His family would make little throwaway comments that were not okay and hurt my feelings and did other dumb things, but he never stood up for me and would defend them tooth and nail.

 

In the end, what does that stuff REALLY matter? It was all so petty and ridiculous.

 

School is getting awful with stress and just being sick of being stuck at the undergraduate level at this point. The fun and excitement of it all has gone from it for both of us and we both face uncertain individual futures. So for now, this may be for the best. It's just not conducive to maintaining a serious longterm relationship with so much at stake (money, futures, careers, etc.) His emotions are all over the place. He's a mess, just as an individual right now. It's sad because he's not the guy I know and there's nothing I can do for him where we're at. We have our own stuff to work on for now.

 

I've never had this experience before so I can't vouch as to whether or not you're right about the men/women thing. I dated a tiny bit in high school though and as soon as I wasn't feeling it, I ended it (I was a bit of a heart breaker in high school, not proud of that.) But that would be after like ONE date to a dance or something. Nothing serious or long. My other lady friends tend to be that way though. Once they're done, they're done. Guys my age tend to be all over the place and never know what they want, so I really don't know.

 

That really sucks it all had to be done over the phone. My ex did that too me too when the day before he said we could work things out. It was horrible. He had to come home and face me though. Maybe it would have been different, but who knows. That's already in the past.

 

I hope and pray you're right and will take your wisdom to heart! I'm definitely in NO place to date right now lol! It'd just be a toxic mess. If I need to take that step it'll only be when I'm ready. I do hope things work out for you as well. You're so kind and all, you deserve that.

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much Slee... Damn, I wish you didn't have to "subscribe" to Private Messages on here I didn't want to keep making the thread longer lol. But yes... take your time and just be patient.

[SLee]

That's the ticket, really patience!

 

And yeah, private message without subscribing would be really useful, so poo on that! lol!