difficult_decisions Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 This is really getting frustrating. I finally meet a girl that I hit off really well. We have the physical attraction, the chemistry, but then all of a sudden she brings up how she feels about the whole situation. Quick background. I just met this girl and we've known each other for a WEEK! Before our first date, we talked everyday and hit it off extremely well. The night we met up we ended up having sex, but she started crying and telling me about how she never did this before and is afraid of being taken advantage of. I thought it could've just been a hormonal rush of emotions plus we were drunk. Couple days later I took her out again and we had a really good time. We came back to my place and had sex again. Then out of nowhere, the next day she tells me that this is usually the time where she friendzones a guy, and she can see it going that way. She really likes me but also feels like something is missing and would like to see where it goes. What the ****? I really like this girl, but how am I going to keep going and seeing where this goes, when I know there's a of possibly of getting friendzoned? I don't feel like I need to ****ing prove to her that I don't deserve to be in the friendzone. This is just really dumb. Things should've DEFINITELY been taken slower. Are these the type of women that I should just be having one night stands with? Dating is getting so jaded.
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Did you ask her what she felt was "missing"? I would have!
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Did you ask her what she felt was "missing"? I would have! I think her answer should tell you everything you need to know...and how you should proceed, if at all.
Author difficult_decisions Posted April 19, 2015 Author Posted April 19, 2015 I think her answer should tell you everything you need to know...and how you should proceed, if at all. I don't even think she knows what's missing right now. It's too early to say.
SmartDude Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I just got put into the friendzone myself. My mistake was not getting physical soon enough, now she thinks im a wuss or some damn thing. Probabbly she had guys in the past that were a bit too soft. I was just trying to take it slow, so I could make sure she is not totally phsyco. Now she has this image of me which is totally not accurate. I have been put into a box that I do not fit in.
preraph Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I think anyone who starts crying because they had sex has some issues. If you don't know what you want or if you're ready, don't have sex! She probably has a hard time saying no or a desperate need to be accepted. Who knows. But she needs to just stop doing things she isn't sure she wants to do. Now, if she's under, say 20, I'll cut her some slack. But if she's not a kid anymore, she has some issues of some sort.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I'm picking up on a few things in your post. 1) You talked on the phone every day and got way too attached to a woman you hadn't even met yet. 2) You've only known her a week, yet are claiming to "really like her". So if I had to guess, she's sensing that you're WAY more into her, than she is into you. That's why she's pulling away. I mean from your post, you're treating her like she's the be all, end all, of the female population. A woman you've only known a week should barely even register on your radar. Just saying..
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I don't even think she knows what's missing right now. It's too early to say. Why would you assume she doesn't know? She told you something was missing, so one would assume she knows what that *something* is, no? As I said, I would have asked her when she said it what it was. Would have saved you a lot of guessing and wondering now. Just sayin .....
Author difficult_decisions Posted April 19, 2015 Author Posted April 19, 2015 I'm picking up on a few things in your post. 1) You talked on the phone every day and got way too attached to a woman you hadn't even met yet. 2) You've only known her a week, yet are claiming to "really like her". So if I had to guess, she's sensing that you're WAY more into her, than she is into you. That's why she's pulling away. I mean from your post, you're treating her like she's the be all, end all, of the female population. A woman you've only known a week should barely even register on your radar. Just saying.. Right, I have no problem meeting women and finding another one the next day. With your logic, I should really just put a guard up with every girl I meet with. What would your advice be now? Should I just play that unavailable card? Respond to her when I feel like it? It's okay I have another date set up next week. I'll string this one along and call her up whenever I want to have sex
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 OP, I'm not gonna judge or criticize you for developing feelings for her after only a week. My bf and I fell hard for each other the first night we met! It happens that way sometimes. Not to mention, you had sex with her twice already, I would think you were a douche if you *didn't* have feelings for her! Or hadn't registered her on your radar, as another posted alluded to. But things are moving along quite fast, so perhaps take it down a notch. You don't want one or both of you to burn out, which often happens when things move along this quickly. Step back a bit, and let her miss you and wonder about you. And next time she makes a comment like "something is missing," don't be afraid to probe further. Information is power and the more info you have, the better position you will be in to make the right decisions.
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 (edited) Right, I have no problem meeting women and finding another one the next day. With your logic, I should really just put a guard up with every girl I meet with. What would your advice be now? Should I just play that unavailable card? Respond to her when I feel like it? It's okay I have another date set up next week. I'll string this one along and call her up whenever I want to have sex Good god NO ...don't string her along and call her whenever you want sex. That would be the worst thing you could do! Just take it down a notch or two and let her miss and wonder about you. You are not exclusive, if you want to date other girls, you are free to do so. If this girl ever asks you if you are dating others, be honest! Edited April 19, 2015 by katiegrl
TB Rhine Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 If she's crying when you have sex, and given the current political climate, frankly you're lucky you haven't been accused of rape at this point. I'd run, not walk, away from a woman that screwed up.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 OP, if she's TELLING you these things, you may already be friendzoned in her mind. I would next her before she takes out the heavy artillery on your ass. I wouldn't put up with that kind of talk, if someone tells me they're on the fence about me, I will next them without a second of hesitation. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 OP, if she's TELLING you these things, you may already be friendzoned in her mind. I would next her before she takes out the heavy artillery on your ass. I wouldn't put up with that kind of talk, if someone tells me they're on the fence about me, I will next them without a second of hesitation. EXACTLY. Only invest time in mutual interest. Anything less is a waste of time. 2
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