Good2Go94 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 What has happened during the 2 weeks: So my ex dumped me 2 weeks ago and told me she was just overwhelmed by the stress of her exams. I know she's extremely busy, but it feels like it was a bull**** excuse. I did plead with her once on the day she broke up with me, but as soon as I realised she had made her mind up, I accepted and left her house. As I got home, I removed her from FaceBook and deleted her number and her mum's. Instantly I started No Contact. No Contact, for me, is a time for ME. I wanted to recover from it, I wanted to grab hold of my emotions and have some self-control. I feel a lot better than I did on day 1, but my desires are the same: I want her back. Yes, I want her back, so I'm not here to listen to chumps tell me things like "she's an ex for a reason" or "move on" ... ANYWAY, so this is what has happened in the last 24 hours: She has sent me a text. I know it doesn't look like much, and it could easily be "breadcrumbs", but here it is: "Hey hope you're OK! I just transferred you the money for the tent, so you're £80 richer. How's Uni going and hope you're enjoying the sun!" Now, I'm quite positive she noticed I had removed her from FaceBook. What should I do to get her back .... should I stick to NC and complete it, or is there a way I should be contacting her?
ZiggyZoo Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 What do you mean by sticking to NC and "completing it"? It's not meant to get your ex back, or whatever that manipulative BS says. NC is complete when you are no longer attached or affected by your ex in any way, shape, or form. And you weren't doing it properly at all anyway, if she was able to text you. As far as not wanting to hear honest opinions from us chumps on here, why ask for advice then? If you're looking for people to tell you what you want to hear, go to those "Get Your Ex Back in 30 Days" sites and ask there. Most of us on here ARE going to say that once your ex ends it, your focus needs to be on yourself, not on your ex. Go true NC and only respond if she says "I'm sorry, I want to try again". Because anything else is, yes, breadcrumbs.
badpenny Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Man, that is so much 'breadcrumbs' you could start a schnitzel factory.... And yup, I agree with ZiggyZoo. Please don't call those you seek help from, "chumps". What a way to alienate your audience! It's true: 99.99% of us will give you the advice you don't want to hear, but if you really want to make a total goo of yourself, ignore advice and tread where we know you'll get trampled, I suggest you therefore ignore everyone and find it out for yourself. There's no better teacher than personal experience, but I fear you'll get fried in butter, with all those breadcrumbs... 2
AIJ Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Please refrain from calling experienced members who have been through exactly what you're going through 'chumps', thanks. Anyway, NC isn't a method to get an ex back. Stop having that mindset. 99.9% of the time, it won't bring an ex back. Yes I've pulled that statistic out of my backside, but it's probably relatively accurate. Anyway, it's breadcrumbs. Just don't respond, I'd suggest blocking all avenues of contact too. If she wants you back THAT badly, you'll know about it. I was similar to you in the immediate aftermath of my break up, overanalysing everything my ex done, believing there was a way I could get her back. Give it a few more weeks and you'll probably come to the realisation that you don't want her back. If it didn't work before, it won't work a second time round. Deal with it and move on. You're only setting yourself up for more heartbreak if you're under the illusion that there is something that you can do to change her mind about breaking up. 1
frigginlost Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 A) Ignore it and continue your healing journey like us chumps. Or B) Answer it with a "thank you, how are you?" And become a chump yourself. You have absolutely no control on getting her back. Only she does and nothing you say or do is going to change that. You can only change yourself by recovering. 1
barky2 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Maybe you know me, maybe you don't. If not, hi I'm barky, I'm a chump. I'm a chump that was really involved in this forum, and I look around to see old faces and to read stories , but don't post very much anymore. But I had to once I saw " chump " out there. So here I am. Listen man, go get her. Write her back and tell her you love her, still miss her and want her back. When that doesn't go as planned, come back to us chumps and tell us how we were right, and you should've left it alone, and now you're back to square 1 with your healing. From the biggest chump, Barky 9
seminoles84 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Chumps... Hahaha wow wonder why she left you. You seem delightful. 1
sutsie Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 chumps? kinda rude but I'll look past it. If she hasn't expressed interest in reconciliation then obviously nothings changed and if you want to restart your healing then go ahead and reply, but unless she expressed interest in getting back together and APOLOGIZED for hurting you, then i wouldn't respond personally because you've already left the door open and unless you think grabbing her arm and dragging through it is gonna lead to a good relationship then I'd do you and let her be.
hunk Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 i don't think op is going to be posting here again somehow:lmao: 1
mightycpa Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 What has happened during the 2 weeks: So my ex dumped me 2 weeks ago and told me she was just overwhelmed by the stress of her exams. I know she's extremely busy, but it feels like it was a bull**** excuse. I did plead with her once on the day she broke up with me, but as soon as I realised she had made her mind up, I accepted and left her house. As I got home, I removed her from FaceBook and deleted her number and her mum's. Instantly I started No Contact. No Contact, for me, is a time for ME. I wanted to recover from it, I wanted to grab hold of my emotions and have some self-control. I feel a lot better than I did on day 1, but my desires are the same: I want her back. Yes, I want her back, so I'm not here to listen to chumps tell me things like "she's an ex for a reason" or "move on" ... ANYWAY, so this is what has happened in the last 24 hours: She has sent me a text. I know it doesn't look like much, and it could easily be "breadcrumbs", but here it is: "Hey hope you're OK! I just transferred you the money for the tent, so you're £80 richer. How's Uni going and hope you're enjoying the sun!" Now, I'm quite positive she noticed I had removed her from FaceBook. What should I do to get her back .... should I stick to NC and complete it, or is there a way I should be contacting her? I've got some chump wisdom for you. NC is indeed about time for you. But you don't get people back into your life by cutting contact, so you have to stop that right away. You've heard it a million times, communication is the key. So communicate. Tell her that you love her. Be brave, be forthright, and explain all of your good virtues, and list your deficiencies and how you'll correct them. Explain that you'll put up with her if she sees other people, or if she's mean to you. But whatever you do, if you want her back, do not stop communicating. Try that for a while and get back to us with how it worked out for you. Good luck! 2
Bohonia Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 She broke up with you, regardless of how stressed she was if you had a solid relationship YOU wouldn't have been the first thing to get chopped. If you cave in she will know you have no backbone and she can treat you however she want's. Honestly if SHE wants you back let her earn it. These breadcrumbs are nothing more than to see if you will bite and if she has the upper hand.
joseb Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Tell her you have won the lottery and are now fabulously wealthy and the only problem is you now have no-one to share your good fortune with. 1
Twigyy Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Good luck trying to get your ex back, and I think these chumps has higher chances of getting a better relationship
Recommended Posts