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She wants to break the relationship and I'm so deep in love :''(

BarneyStinson

By BarneyStinson
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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BarneyStinson Member

BarneyStinson

Posted
Posted

My girlfriend wants to leave me. I love my girlfriend with all the love I could ever possibly have, with every fibre of my being. It’s killing me to know that she wants to leave.

 

I know if we do break up I’ll be distraught. Even now I’ve been crying myself to sleep then waking up and thinking of her straight away and then the tears follow. During the day an overwhelming feeling covers me and I burst out into tears but I hide it from everyone. At work I’ll go to the bathroom and cry in there and when I’m home my family will ask if I’m okay and I just say "yeah".

 

We’ve been together for about 8 months and we were talking about getting married, having a family and where to live and everything. We’ve planned so much and then in a second it’s all gone and it feels like she never loved me at all even though she said she did. She sent me a love message a week ago but hadn’t loved me for longer. It kills me.

 

She believed someone who told her a lie that I wanted to leave. I’m shocked she believed them because I love her with every part of my being, to me she’s my everything. I can’t think or see myself been with anyone else.

 

It’s like I’ve opened my heart up to someone I truly believe in and completely love and she’s stabbed me in the heart and whichever other girl she’s believed has joined it stabbing me too.

 

It’s completely sole destroying. I don’t think I’m going to get through this at all. It’s killing me and I think perhaps literally.

 

I need some advice please?

Nolan 93 Established Member

Nolan 93

Posted
Posted

There's nothing you can do, she wants out so its on her. Let her go and go straight no contact. She was infatuated and she woke up and realized its a mistake.

 

I've been on your shoes and trust me I felt the same, but I didn't let her go. I should have let her leave when she wanted to. So please let her go and let her realize what she's losing. I'm almost 5 months Nc and yes I miss her but she left and nothing I can do except remember the memories and work out at the gym and ****ing with other pretty girls.

  • Like 1
sutsie Established Member

sutsie

Posted
Posted

Best thing to do is go no contact. I am 100% positive that you'll feel better after 14 days, then even better after 30. Chances are with girls that she'll come back around within 2-3 months. By that time you'll more than likely find you're in a position where you realize you want someone that would never leave you. Hit the gym, go on runs, and stay away from the booze. Best wishes.

  • Like 1
CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
Posted

It’s completely sole destroying.

I think you mean soul? Unless she is destroying the bottom of your feet....

 

I don’t think I’m going to get through this at all. It’s killing me and I think perhaps literally.

We have all been there. And, yes, the first heartbreak is the hardest but the heart is a very resilient muscle and you WILL not die from being hurt.

 

I need some advice please?

Go No Contact and understand that as you grow older, you will learn to love again.

  • Like 1
Nolan 93 Established Member

Nolan 93

Posted
Posted

But please just don't hold on to hope, it can be your worst enemy right now.

  • Like 1
Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted
My girlfriend wants to leave me. I love my girlfriend with all the love I could ever possibly have, with every fibre of my being. It’s killing me to know that she wants to leave.

 

Love is a 2 way process. She doesn't feel the same. So what you have is infatuation not love.

 

I know if we do break up I’ll be distraught. Even now I’ve been crying myself to sleep then waking up and thinking of her straight away and then the tears follow. During the day an overwhelming feeling covers me and I burst out into tears but I hide it from everyone. At work I’ll go to the bathroom and cry in there and when I’m home my family will ask if I’m okay and I just say "yeah".

 

It passes. Its grieving for a dream that is now not going to be. Let it out then wash your face and hands, take a deep breath and get back to whatever you were doing.

 

We’ve been together for about 8 months and we were talking about getting married, having a family and where to live and everything. We’ve planned so much and then in a second it’s all gone and it feels like she never loved me at all even though she said she did. She sent me a love message a week ago but hadn’t loved me for longer. It kills me.

 

8 months isn't that long. To put it into perspective its only 8 paydays. Better that you know now rather than in 8 years. You are now free to get over it and find someone you do actually love and can be with

 

She believed someone who told her a lie that I wanted to leave. I’m shocked she believed them because I love her with every part of my being, to me she’s my everything. I can’t think or see myself been with anyone else.

 

This is a bit dramatic and just shows that communication was not open and honest between you or she would have asked you about it and spoken to you about it. This to me is clarification that the right thing is happening here. Wouldn't it be better to be with someone who works through your relationship problems with you? Because believe you me with marriage and kids it gets a whole lot worse.

 

It’s like I’ve opened my heart up to someone I truly believe in and completely love and she’s stabbed me in the heart and whichever other girl she’s believed has joined it stabbing me too.

 

Again drama. Calm it down. The pair of them sound like gossips... not attractive at all.

 

It’s completely sole destroying. I don’t think I’m going to get through this at all. It’s killing me and I think perhaps literally.

 

Scroll down, take a look at some of the posts on separation and divorce. You will get over it if you are proactive in trying to get over it. You have your home, your health, your family and friends. All are worth far more than some drama queen.

 

I need some advice please?

 

My advice

 

Agree to the break up. Collect/ drop off any stuff that may be at each others places.

 

Then go no contact. This means deleting her off of facebook, blocking all emails and phone calls and texts. Do not under any circumstances contact her/ her friends/ her family.

 

Mean while get active, go running or walking every day. Go to the gym or take up a new sport/ join a new team. Accept every invitation to go out to all the parties, to the movies... anywhere. Call your friends and ask them out to go and do things. Learn a new skill, concentrate on your work and set yourself goals to achieve. Each time you think about her kick yourself or do something that makes you stop thinking about her, phone a friend, read a book, watch a film do 20 jumping jacks or press ups...

  • Like 2
spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry to hear what has happened and how you are feeling. If someone wants to leave you can't stop them, nor should you try to. Whatever story your girlfriend heard - if that's her real reason and not just an excuse - she has said she wants to leave. Just let her. It's very simple - if someone no longer wants to be with you, they are not entitled to your love and trust and devotion.

 

It is an awful ordeal while you are waiting for this to happen. I presume you are living together and that this is why you are still in the same place? Could you stay with family or friends until she's gone? I really think it might help you to talk to family and friends about this. Why should you keep it to yourself when you are hurting and need their support?

 

This is not your fault. Sometimes people just fall out of love. I know it feels like the world is ending at the moment, but when you have come through this experience, you will be able to look ahead at something better. Just take it bit by bit and try to keep your distance from her as much as possible until she's moved out. Keep posting here and people will support you xx

  • Like 1
Satu Established Member

Satu

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Posted

Please do not beg and plead for her to take you back.

 

Please do not sit next to her crying uncontrollably.

 

Please do not bombard her with texts and calls.

 

Maintain your dignity at all times.

 

**************************************************

 

You have to set them free:

 

"I release you to live your life the way you want to. You're free. I'm not holding you."

 

You don't say that out loud.

 

You say it on the inside.

 

You have to mean it.

 

Getting to that point takes time.

 

***************************************************

 

Pay attention to yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, your needs, things that make you feel good, your hopes, your fears, your dreams.

 

You are the centre of your world, not anybody else.

 

Be there, with yourself, at the centre.

 

***************************************************

 

*No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

****************************************************

 

Peace.

  • Like 3
Jimmyjackson Established Member

Jimmyjackson

Posted
Posted

Barney, think of what you would say to Ted if he were in this situation. Now apply that to yourself.

  • Like 1
mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

Posted
Posted
Barney, think of what you would say to Ted if he were in this situation. Now apply that to yourself.

Or think of what Ted might say to you... the whore ****ing, beer drinking, coke snorting talking teddy bear Ted, is the one I mean.

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