emotionalbasketcase Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 I have been dating a guy for over a year and a half now, or at least that is what I thought it was. He is moving about three hours away from me and actually today was the day he left. I got very emotional and was pretty upset when he was about to leave. I don't want him to go and I am very much in love with him. This is a fact he is well aware of. Here is the thing. He did not share my emotions which made me even more upset. That started a pretty intense conversation which I will not bore anyone with but the end result was that he told me that he was never in love with me because he never felt that "spark". We did have a rough beginning where there were many conversations like this and we did break up and get back together a few times. We really didn't like one another in the beginning, then it was all about sex. Something about us changed and it had not been like this in about a year. I thought things were going great. We spent all of our free time together and we got along really well. I do not understand. The thing that bothers me the most is that he also said that we were not dating we were only friends and that is all it ever has been. Huh? We had no fight before this comment, nor did he say it with any malice or creul intent. This all was very genuine on his part, I need help understanding all this because we are a couple in every way. By this I mean that there is affection, sex, conversation, I have a key to his place,etc We were never friends before this relationship started and I didn't think we were friends now. I have been a wreck about this all day. How could someone be with a person for that length of time and then say something like this. I'm crushed. He still wants to be my friend. I know that this sounds like a line but I truly feel that this is genuine on his part. He was speaking to me as if this how it was the entire time and he also made metion that I have become one of his best friends. Once again I say Huh? I don't know what to do, what to say, or how I should react. Help! I need to be able to talk to him. I couldn't speak a word when all of this happened. I just left. I couldn't handle it. I need advice on how to proceed.
cuties Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 I'm sorry you're feeling hurt and crushed. Sounds like you two had different perspectives on this relationship. You wanted a bf, and he wanted a friend w/ benefits. If he says he only wants to see you as a friend, take it for what it's worth. Don't get any further into it just to get yourself hurt. He is telling you the truth. Don't hang around and wait for him to change his mind. 1 1/2 years seems like a long time, but imagine sticking around longer, and finding out that this relationship you thought was so beautiful was not something you thought it was, and that his feelings never changed. it hurts, and you should spare yourself the hurt. look for someone more worthy of your affection who WILL return your emotion. be fair to yourself. if he only wants a friends w/ sex relationship, be clear that that is all he wants- nothing more. he says he wants to be your friend still b/c he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and he doesn't want to leave w/ conflict, but don't take it as a profession that he wants to be your long distance bf. keep your chin up! you're not alone. move on, and chalk it up as HIS loss!
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