imtrying211 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 So my boyfriend of a little over a year left me a week ago and I'm falling apart. I know it will take some time to heal, but I can't stop my head from spinning. It came as a complete shock when he left. We weren't having any problems, we were so in love, or at least I was. He said he just wasn't happy, it wasn't the kind of relationship he wanted, he didn't have the same feelings as I did. I got the "I love you but I'm not in love with you". We lived together, worked together, did everything together. He was my world and now he's gone, just like that. How does someone just wake up and decide they aren't in love anymore?? His past relationship was bad, they fought all of the time and he would say how happy he was with me because we weren't like that. He had said so many things that made me believe we would be together forever, that he was truly happy, and then he just wasn't. I don't understand that. I don't understand why I don't deserve a chance to make him happy again. I asked him why it wasn't worth fixing, and he said he didn't know if it could be fixed, but didn't want to try anyway. I'm trying so hard to accept the fact that it's over, that he's never coming back. I go to sleep telling myself I'm ok, then I wake up and he's not there, and my heart breaks all over again. I can't stop thinking about him, about us. We work in the same building so I know I will still see him which makes it that much harder. Seeing him just getting on with his life like nothing, while I'm sitting here completely falling apart kills me. I find myself trying to run into him at work when I know I should be trying to avoid him, to help myself heal. I'm tired of crying, tired of trying to figure out what changed in his head, tired of waiting for him to decide he made a mistake and come home. I feel so broken, empty, unloved, confused, frustrated, angry, lonely. I want to hate him but I can't turn off my love for him as easily as he did for me. How can anyone?
Fufu Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I understand how you feel. If he doesn't want to work it out with you, there's nothing you can force him to. And it could be he had it plan out for a period of time before ending the relationship. Leave him be, you are not him to change him. Eventually, you will get worn out. If he wants you, if he is committed to you, he should be the one taking the action (with sincerity).. Your priority now is to move on with your life, be a happy person. 2
StalwartMind Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 It's a lot to digest and the reasons can be many as to why some people can almost turn their love like a switch. You may never find out why which is all the more frustrating as our natural desire is to understand the reason. You are also dealing with an extra layer of inconvenience since you work in the same building, and while it may be hard if not near impossible, you do need to distance yourself. As Fufu said, if he sincerely wants you or for that matter have any decency to give you the full story (if he even knows) he should be the one making that move. Life can throw the most surprising cold buckets of water in your face when you least expect it but with time it'll get easier. I know that doesn't help much this very second and it would be wonderful if all those feelings could just disappear or be reconnected back to when things were good. Take heart and give yourself time to heal. Patience and discipline can help a long way but it's your will that will make you prevail. 1
SLee Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I feel your pain. I too wanted all the questions answered. Why didn't I deserve one more shot? How could he just not love me after everything he promised? After all that we had? Honestly, you may never get those answers. And if you did, they aren't going to help you. Like the others have said, if he wants you back or wants to talk it out, he will. You can't control how he feels or what he does. But you can control you and what you do. I'm sure your a strong person who will get through this. Allow yourself to grieve as you need to, but be kind to yourself and be patient. That's the best thing you can do. 1
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