Ryderr Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I met this girl at a house party 2 days ago, we spent the whole night talking to each other. She put her number in my phone and texted me that night to make sure it worked. I'm just going to write down the whole conversation so I can have a proper response, skip to the bold part if you just want her response to when I asked her when she was free. Thanks for helping. The next day she texted me first saying Her: "Hey! How are you after last night? :)" Me: Hey I'm good thanks. how are you feeling? Her: Thats good Feeling pretty rough hahaha i was so lucid last night Me: Yeah my heads hurting a bit but it was good meeting you by the way Her: It was nice meeting you as well! I felt so much better after a twenty minute nap not gonna lie Me: Ahh I wish i could have a nap but i have too much to do, making me jealous haha, we should do something in the next few weeks Her: Haha I have so much uni work to but thats kind of been swept under the rug haha. For sure for sure Later that day: Me: Can't believe you didnt want any of my pizza last night haha, hurt my feelings a bit Her: Haha! Sorry about that! I either get really hungry or not hungry at all after a big night hahahaha! Me: I'll forgive you this time haha Her: Haha I'm glad Next Day: Me: What trouble did you cause this weekend? Her: Not too much actually! Just went out for sushi and watched a movie last night What did you get up to? Me: Nice, what movie? Had my sisters birthday dinner last night and met her boyfriends parents. A lot of embarrassing stories came out haha Her: Hahahaha I can imagine! Just the matrix Me: Also, what days are you free next week? Her: Next week? I go back to uni then I'll be working on my days off but will try figure it out :S Me: Okay just let me know when you can do something Then no response after that, what are your thoughts???
Jonp219 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Don't make a habit of texting her everyday. But yeah, you are worrying a little too much, give it some time.
Author Ryderr Posted April 19, 2015 Author Posted April 19, 2015 Don't make a habit of texting her everyday. But yeah, you are worrying a little too much, give it some time. I won't be texting her anymore until she responds to my last message, I think thats the right idea.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) To be honest, if a woman took initiative to text me the next day, I'd take that as a major green light and cut right to the chase. Ex :"Your text made me feel better already. ;-) When are you free to get together?" That way you can find out where she stands instantly. Then she'll either give you a definite answer or dodge it. If she dodges, you say 'Well I gotta run, but get in touch when your schedule is more definite and we'll make plans then." All this back and forth beating around the bush only lowers a woman's interest level in the end. 1) Your first mistake was leaving it open ended and suggestive. "We should do something in the next few weeks." No women you barely know is going to open up that much of her schedule for you. Instead you ask for when she is free, and then use that to line up something concrete with a definite day and place. It comes off as a lot more decisive and confident. 2) At this point, I think her interest level is pretty low because she never commits to plans. When a woman's interested, she'll give a definite answer on when she's free. She's skated around three date invites now. BTW - "Just let me know when you can do something" comes off a bit over eager like you'll be ready and willing to do whatever it takes just to see her. Edited April 20, 2015 by fitnessfan365 1
hunk Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Yeah, what fitness said. I have been in this position when I was younger, many times, and sadly i think it has alot to do with the texting. Ideally, you should have called her maybe 2 days later. Left it the day after, then just straight up picked up the phone and asked her out. I know this is hard - every time I do it it's after the gym when i'm completely pumped, i reserve that time to call any numbers i've got to set a date up. Women are extremely receptive to it and you get your answer essentially straight away. Texting lowers attraction, interest, mystery ... it's just not good. You didn't go overboard by any means, you just could've showed more assertion and initiative. Even if she turned you down you would've had the experience under your belt for next time and the realization it isn't THAT intimidating. Obviously don't contact her again, only if she comes out and gives you a day to meet up would I consider this going anywhere.
Author Ryderr Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 It's been 2 days since no message has been sent back, now she is a good friend of my sisters as well and apparently she's quite keen to go out with me. How long should I wait before sending a follow up text and what should I say so I don't dig a deeper hole for myself?
fitnessfan365 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 It's been 2 days since no message has been sent back, now she is a good friend of my sisters as well and apparently she's quite keen to go out with me. How long should I wait before sending a follow up text and what should I say so I don't dig a deeper hole for myself? Since it's been a few days, why not just call her on the phone? It would make more of an impression.
Author Ryderr Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 Since it's been a few days, why not just call her on the phone? It would make more of an impression. That makes me nervous to be honest, but I guess that's the point of it making more of an impression. It's only 11am here so I'll wait to around 6 or 7pm to call and ask. When I call her do I just ask her out straight away or what? Only new to this, time to man up :/
fitnessfan365 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 That makes me nervous to be honest, but I guess that's the point of it making more of an impression. It's only 11am here so I'll wait to around 6 or 7pm to call and ask. When I call her do I just ask her out straight away or what? Only new to this, time to man up :/ Well this is a girl you already interacted with in person right? Since you've already talked to her, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Now some guys for whatever reason will feel like they have to entertain a chick FOREVER and just blab on and on and on before getting to the point. There is no law that says you have to be on the phone a long time. But I also wouldn't recommend hitting and running either. Chat for like 5-10 minutes and then ask when she's free. She'll suggest one or multiple days. In my experience if a woman gives you multiple days her interest is high. Then once you settle on a day, ask her if a certain time works, she'll confirm it does, and then tell her you'll see her than at (insert place).
Author Ryderr Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 Well this is a girl you already interacted with in person right? Since you've already talked to her, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Now some guys for whatever reason will feel like they have to entertain a chick FOREVER and just blab on and on and on before getting to the point. There is no law that says you have to be on the phone a long time. But I also wouldn't recommend hitting and running either. Chat for like 5-10 minutes and then ask when she's free. She'll suggest one or multiple days. In my experience if a woman gives you multiple days her interest is high. Then once you settle on a day, ask her if a certain time works, she'll confirm it does, and then tell her you'll see her than at (insert place). Yeah I have spoken to her in person, to be honest I was pretty drunk that night and apparently I was talking to her the entire night, even taking her away from the group to talk and things like that. I also hugged her goodbye at the end of the night I'm actually really glad we didn't make out because that can make me lose interest in a girl if they do that the first time we meet. To be honest I'm not that great at keeping a conversation on the phone so I'll just start with "Hey, how are you?", if she says anything particular ill ask her about that but then I'll probably move straight onto asking when she is free next and if a particular time suits her. Would if come of awkward to a girl if I call her when she hasn't sent anything back after the last text I sent to her? And what would rejection sound like so I can just move on to the next girl.
Author Ryderr Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 Ended up texting her because it felt a bit soon for calling, i'll call to setup the second date though. That's usually what I do. We ended up making a definite date for coffee next week, she organised the time and place without me having to do anything which was nice for a change. I'll let you now how it goes.
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