Larry56 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I'd like to understand the psychology behind what goes through a women's mind when she sleeps with a guy on the first date. So I'm doing my thing these days. So I'm a bit of a player now, I don't really do relationships anymore. I got cheated on by a whole bunch of girlfriends 7 - 10 years ago which made me really question a lot of things when it came to relationships. I find that most women will not see you as boyfriend material if you try to bed them straight away. Only rarely do I ever find I'm really into a women I sleep with like this as well but... when it happens I find them really into me for that weekend, but a few days later they are cold as ice. Like WTF. Also, I'm good in the sack, like I can service a girl like no other - I've received many thanks for making a girl you know what. I'm not butt-hurt by this but I'm just wondering why this happens. Because a lot of guys out there seem to think they women are yours if you bed them straight away. I just don't believe that to be true. Because, I think that women either A) Don't trust you or. B) Didn't like you that much to begin with. I think I entertain women a lot but they don't really see me as potential BF material to begin with, even if they give it up to you on the first date. Thoughts?
guest569 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Because a lot of guys out there seem to think they women are yours if you bed them straight away. I just don't believe that to be true. Because, I think that women either A) Don't trust you or. B) Didn't like you that much to begin with. I think I entertain women a lot but they don't really see me as potential BF material to begin with, even if they give it up to you on the first date. Thoughts? Maybe because YOU are also giving it up to them on the first date, the presume its a one night stand? If they suddenly go cold after one night.
Author Larry56 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Posted April 19, 2015 I text them/call the next day and text them through the week - carrying on the conversation, so I don't think it's that so much. Although, I will give you some credit since I tend to do a lot of dirty talking with women through text/phone calls to get them heated up before meeting me.
GemmaUK Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 On the rare occasions I have done this (twice in my life and a long time ago now) I wasn't into the guy enough to want to date him and knew I wouldn't want to date him before even going there. I just had fun that night and that was it.
casey.lives Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Someone who sleeps with a person on the first date isn't thinking long term.. or they are taking short cuts to building intimacy.. it's an either or situation. I would suggest not being so passive and taking more of a proactive role on what your night looks like with your female companions. Don't put yourself in the same futile situation..
GemmaUK Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Someone who sleeps with a person on the first date isn't thinking long term.. or they are taking short cuts to building intimacy.. it's an either or situation. Exactly this! People who do get together and stay together after sex on a first date are usually the exception. For one thing if they have only just met or barely know each other then they don't even know if the other could be dating material. We all only get to know that over time.
Author Larry56 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Posted April 19, 2015 For one thing if they have only just met or barely know each other then they don't even know if the other could be dating material. We all only get to know that over time. But for this to happen, sex on the first date is a no-no typically?
BluEyeL Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 If I were to sleep with a guy on the first date, I would do so only if he was absolutely hot, possibly much younger, and completely inappropriate as a boyfriend, who wasn't gonna run around in the same social circle as me, and could just disappear after. If I ever saw him again, I'd never admit I knew him. So, personally, of course I wouldn't consider him bf material, since I would have chosen him not to be bf material. I would never sleep on a first date with anyone who was remotely bf material. And who wasn't movie star hot. But that's just me.
elaine567 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I text them/call the next day and text them through the week - carrying on the conversation, so I don't think it's that so much. Although, I will give you some credit since I tend to do a lot of dirty talking with women through text/phone calls to get them heated up before meeting me. The girls you are attracting by those dirty texts, are those who only want sex; ONS or two day fling at the most. They aren't interested in follow up dates, they may already be attached or they just do not want a relationship. Anyone who is looking for more than a hook up, will bin your initial dirty texts, as they know you are only looking for a hook up. 4
elaine567 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I think it is possible to make a relationship out of first date sex. I think it is possible for some to make a big connection on the date, and end up having sex, like each other and end up in a relationship. BUT if you want some sort of relationship, then acting like sex is the first and apparently only thing in mind, is going to attract others for which sex is the first and only thing in mind.
TheBathWater Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I think it is possible to make a relationship out of first date sex. I think it is possible for some to make a big connection on the date, and end up having sex, like each other and end up in a relationship. BUT if you want some sort of relationship, then acting like sex is the first and apparently only thing in mind, is going to attract others for which sex is the first and only thing in mind. This. Sometimes the most passionate relationships began passionately.
KatZee Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Essentially you're attracting what you are. You don't do relationships. You're not looking for them. You're picking up women who are into sleeping with you immediately. They don't do relationships either. They're not looking for them either. I obviously can't speak for ALL women, but most who behave this way aren't looking for anything substantial. I'm also curious as to why you're carrying on conversations and texting/calling after a ONS if you're not looking for a relationship. 4
Methodical Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I find that most women will not see you as boyfriend material if you try to bed them straight away. Only rarely do I ever find I'm really into a women I sleep with like this as well but... when it happens I find them really into me for that weekend, but a few days later they are cold as ice. Like WTF. Also, I'm good in the sack, like I can service a girl like no other - I've received many thanks for making a girl you know what. I'm not butt-hurt by this but I'm just wondering why this happens. Because a lot of guys out there seem to think they women are yours if you bed them straight away. I just don't believe that to be true. Obviously no one person can speak for the masses, but my opinion is that there are just as many women as men seeking a booty call. When you try to bed them straight away, there's an assumption that you aren't looking for a commitment. It's next to impossible to know someone well enough from one date, a few hours, to determine a "long term" relationship will develop. Being told thanks for a good romp is a pretty good indication that that's what they were after, servicing.
hotpotato Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 For me, it was about being younger and not knowing any better. I had a relationship come out of first date sex, but i dont think that's a solid approach in general, unless a woman is cool with a man disappearing after sex. Nowadays, if I a guys asks me for sex on the first date, I'll just up and leave. It's the double standard that I will not tolerate. Guy thinks it's fine for him to expect and ask for sex asap, but if a woman gives it to him, then she's a nasssy hoe. I would assume that if a guy is asking for sex straight away he is most likely not interested in getting to know me. I'm confused. You are saying you don't want a relationship then wondering why girls disappear. Why would it matter if they disappear?
hotpotato Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 (edited) Oh yes, and if there was alcohol involved he may not be as attractive the next day. Not saying that's your issue, but it does happen. A man shouldn't assume he's got a woman bc they had sex right away nor vice versa. To paraphrase someone else, a lot of people are sleeping with someone they wouldn't trust with their car keys! Edited April 19, 2015 by hotpotato
Throldur Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 The longer you wait to have sex with someone, the more likely your relationship will succeed. My ex and I waited awhile for sex and we lasted a good two years before GIGS got her. I liked that we waited. It allowed for our chemistry to come through as two people first.. I'm also always shy the first time with someone so it allowed for some honesty in that department. Which took the performance anxiety off and things went really well.
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I text them/call the next day and text them through the week - carrying on the conversation, so I don't think it's that so much. Although, I will give you some credit since I tend to do a lot of dirty talking with women through text/phone calls to get them heated up before meeting me. They may sense you are a "player" (you did admit you are after all) and don't wish to move forward based on that. I, and most intelligent women, can sense players a mile away, and stay away from them. Smart girls! Especially given the fact you admitted you are NOT looking for a relationship.
okc85 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 meh. I had sex on a first date with someone and we wound up having one of the best relationships of my life. I don't normally do such things, but it happened, and I don't regret it at all 1
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 meh. I had sex on a first date with someone and we wound up having one of the best relationships of my life. I don't normally do such things, but it happened, and I don't regret it at all Don't be meh .....so do many many other people...who go on to have successful long term relationships and/or marriages.
elaine567 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I'm confused. You are saying you don't want a relationship then wondering why girls disappear. Why would it matter if they disappear? If you are a real player you want to keep revisiting your "harem", so you never get a "dry spell". It is about having sex regularly with multiple women, but allowing the capacity for newer women too, it is not about loads of random ONSs.
Gary S Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 What goes through a woman's mind when she sleeps with a guy on a first date? It's infatuation. You don't have to be in love to have sex. But many good girls have self-control and don't do that. It depends on the woman. Some do, some don't. Also, only players or guys on the rebound have one night stands.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I've had opportunities to. But I never have. 1) I am actually a very sexual being at my core. But I don't care how attracted I am to a woman or how great she seems after a few hours. The fact is that I still don't know her..AT ALL. I need more of a connection and time spent to want to have sex with a woman. I mean sex is the most intimate thing you can do with a person. So you need to have some sort of familiarity. Not to mention knowing sexual history. If your main focus is just about getting your rocks off, you might as well just stay home and jerk off. At least that way the sex is safe..LOL 2) It's also a bit of an ego thing as well. If she ends up being a woman I want to have sex with repeatedly longer term, I want the first experience to be memorable for her. If I have sex early on within dates 1-3, I don't know much about what pushes her buttons mentally, or very much about her body. I mean you only get one first time with every woman you have sex with. So why not wait a bit, do field research, and make a great first impression? A month of temporary blue balls is worth regular long term sex with her always begging for it.
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 For me, it was about being younger and not knowing any better. I had a relationship come out of first date sex, but i dont think that's a solid approach in general, unless a woman is cool with a man disappearing after sex. Nowadays, if I a guys asks me for sex on the first date, I'll just up and leave. It's the double standard that I will not tolerate. Guy thinks it's fine for him to expect and ask for sex asap, but if a woman gives it to him, then she's a nasssy hoe. I would assume that if a guy is asking for sex straight away he is most likely not interested in getting to know me. I'm confused. You are saying you don't want a relationship then wondering why girls disappear. Why would it matter if they disappear? Re last paragraph, I for one would be very interested in knowing this as well. Larry, what gives? Ego boost? What?
Gary S Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Maybe he wants to be the happy rejector and wait until he's done with them? I'm just sayin'.
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