TestinMice Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Hey guys new here,so my ex and i broke up 5 days ago because she said she wasn't feeling so in love with me anymore,at first she wanted to take it with another chance but then changed her mind and left it there..when we first were together she was 15 and i was 17 and now we are 21-23 at that point and i was also her first one.so i started the no contact rule but only because i truly want her back from my heart...any advices from anyone on the issue?
HollowSea Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 First love man it stings. Anywho you're both young and everyone is so gosh darned silly at this age, yes that especially includes your ex. I'm going to tell you right now she isn't worth it. No matter how long you've both spent together, at this age 90% of the time your ex is just not worth fighting for. She's looking for another guy, and has suddenly made the decision she isn't in love with you in a day. It's not fair, but that's life. She chose to turn her back on you and how you made her feel and what you've both been through together without even trying to work it out. Sounds bad right? Well honestly it's okay. She just doesn't know who she is and right now she can't give you what you think you need. You've got to move on, that'll be hard because it was six years being together but you'll get through it. Go out and experience life. If someone can drop someone they supposedly cared and loved in a day they aren't worth it. Long story short.... do your best not to be committed at this age. Relationships aren't built to last at this time in your life. Cry, do whatever you need to do to move on, but do not contact this girl. She isn't who you think she is. You are not the exception. 2
Satu Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 (edited) If you have to persuade or otherwise influence someone to be with you, you are not valued enough. You should not have to do that. Important advice: Do not beg and plead with her to take you back. Do not sit next to her crying, to show her how much you want her. Don't tell her you can't live without her. Do not send her a million texts. Maintain your dignity at all times. Also note that NC is for moving on, not for recapturing a partner that doesn't want to be with you. Edited April 19, 2015 by Satu 2
Author TestinMice Posted April 19, 2015 Author Posted April 19, 2015 If someone can drop someone they supposedly cared and loved in a day they aren't worth it.yeah but you see she told me she needs time for herself right now,so that's why i want to give her the space for a month or so with NC and see if she is going to be interested and send a text or something,wouldn't that be fair?Really she a very nice person with no bad or evil sides on her,that's why i think she may come back sooner or later if i get it to a strategic step...
HollowSea Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Um no. Do complete NC no contacting her after one month bs that you've read off of google. Anddddd this girl is not without faults. That is the love talking she isn't perfect and you and I both know that after six years of being with her. You're just looking back on things with a much more biased opinion right now. This is not the time to try to get her back. She left you for a reason. A break up is both of your faults, but at the end of the day it was her decision and not yours to give up on what you both had. That's something you really need to internalize. Do NOT consume yourself with her. Again as much as you've gone into emotional overload right now, your emotions are not right, what they're telling you about getting back with her isn't right and the only thing that will make you realize that is by letting her go completely. You're your own person. It's been years since you've had to be on your own but it's the truth. And right now that isn't liberating but it will be. Let her go. No contacting her after a month or anything like that. Let her contact you if she does. Anything else will make you weaker, and you will show weakness to her in doing so. Trust the people here. They know what they're talking about, your heart and brain right now however do not. 1
Twigyy Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Don't bother reading those how to get your ex back posts online. It takes two hands to clap. If she comes back she will find a way, and it's not up to you. Almost every girl at this age will want to play around and try out different people. My ex probably left me because of this too. Go complete NC and move on with your life, and don't be surprised that she got a new dude in a month. 2
joseb Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Maintain your dignity at all times. Also note that NC is for moving on, not for recapturing a partner that doesn't want to be with you. This. NC isn't for manipulating people, it's to get over someone. Right now you are probably devastated. A 6 year relationship, especially at such a young age, is a big deal. But you are young, and you will get over it. Take the time to find yourself. Spend some time being single. You will start to feel better after a bit, but I won't lie, it will hurt for a while. That's normal. But the more you stick to NC and focus on moving on, the quicker you will recover. 2
SLee Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I know exactly what you're feeling. I went through something similar very recently. First love, 3.5. Started when I was 18 and he just turned 20. Now we're 21 and he's nearing 24. We both committed really fast and were really young. Neither of us took the time to grow and develop as individuals or to figure ourselves out and it blew up in our faces. I agree with everything HollowSea said. You (and I) are both really young. People our age need to grow on our own. Unfortunately, that type of thing isn't conducive to long term relationships. The only time I've ever seen it work is if people are really religious and want to get married younger/have long term commitment young. OR they're from the same town or something (As in high school relationships) and are always 100% comfortable staying in their town and don't need to do any soul-searching or exploring or whatever. That's why relationships like yours (and mine too, I guess.) are so rare. And six years is a long time especially when you're young. I'm feeling al the pain from my 3.5 year LTR. 6 years is a lot. NC is for you, as others have said. It's not a scheme to get your ex back. It's for you to also work on yourself and grow and heal as you need to. I believe in second chances, but do not, for your own sake, cling to that. It's a struggle, but it's only going to hurt you in the end.
barky2 Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Sorry to hear about all of this, take it from someone who was with his ex for 10 years, it stings to the core. One thing jumped off the page at me ... "She wanted to give it another go, but then changed her mind"... Now I'm not always right, and this doesn't always apply to every situation, but more times than not it does, I'm not writing this to hurt you by any means, I just want you to think of it from another side. Ready? When someone's blowing hot and cold with you, it means someone's blowing hot and cold with them. I was one of the people to say nono she's not like that ect. Come to find out she was. Best of luck going forward, I promise you'll get threw this and be just fine. Barky
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