cottom Posted April 18, 2015 Posted April 18, 2015 Its always, if you like someone then act like your not interested, act like a twat to them, act like their second in your life. When all you can think about is how much you want that one person. But then you get them, and your with them and want to show them you care about them, show them they mean the world to you but you can't, you have to treat them mean, treat them like you have other more important things in your life. If you dont they think your a pushover and leave. Ive been there in both circumstances. I have girls hit on me that i am not interested in constantly and the more i act like im not interested the more they try it. Then i have a girl i am really interested in and i want to text her 24/7, talk to her all the time, and when i text she replies straight away but then i hear that puts her off and she has shown her interest is waning. Ive had girls in the past where i treat them like absolute **** and have them running doing anything for me, ive then seen the error and treat them good and they go off for some other douchebag who treats them ****. Ive treated girls well from the start and they just go off with other guys immediately. Why is it that you can't act like yourself to get a girl, you cant treat them like you care and love them, you have to be a completely different person, throughout the pulling, the dating and the whole relationship. I dont understand why girls dont like guys for being who they are and wanting to look after them. 1
smackie9 Posted April 18, 2015 Posted April 18, 2015 There has to be a balance....self worth / attentiveness. Self worth meaning they are not your whole world, that you do have a life outside the relationship to go and do your own thing. Being attentive, you make them a part of your life, share things, enjoy spending time together....but this can be disrupted by being too needy, overwhelming them with constant texting. Push and pull is key....you give a little, then pull back a little and let them come to you. It's pretty simple. 1
casey.lives Posted April 18, 2015 Posted April 18, 2015 the problem is that you put more emphasis on the desire then on the person. value the person more then you value the desire. Once you get your priority straight, the desire will always follow, as it's meant to 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 18, 2015 Posted April 18, 2015 When you don't like a woman as much and you're not needy or clingy, that's why she feels an attraction. But the problem is that some people get overly attached when they like someone. I mean you just admitted that when you have a girl you like, you want to text her 24-7. I'm sorry, but that would be a turn off for anyone. You have to balance you desire for the person with being independent and allowing them space. How is a woman ever supposed to miss you if you're in her face all day, every day?
organizedchaos Posted April 18, 2015 Posted April 18, 2015 Its always, if you like someone then act like your not interested, act like a twat to them, act like their second in your life. When all you can think about is how much you want that one person. But then you get them, and your with them and want to show them you care about them, show them they mean the world to you but you can't, you have to treat them mean, treat them like you have other more important things in your life. If you dont they think your a pushover and leave. Ive been there in both circumstances. I have girls hit on me that i am not interested in constantly and the more i act like im not interested the more they try it. Then i have a girl i am really interested in and i want to text her 24/7, talk to her all the time, and when i text she replies straight away but then i hear that puts her off and she has shown her interest is waning. Ive had girls in the past where i treat them like absolute **** and have them running doing anything for me, ive then seen the error and treat them good and they go off for some other douchebag who treats them ****. Ive treated girls well from the start and they just go off with other guys immediately. Why is it that you can't act like yourself to get a girl, you cant treat them like you care and love them, you have to be a completely different person, throughout the pulling, the dating and the whole relationship. I dont understand why girls dont like guys for being who they are and wanting to look after them. Call me crazy, but maybe you could learn something from your own words right there.
Jonp219 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 The key is to have a life of your own outside of the dating world. Remember a relationship is a place you go to give not take. You want her to come along on your journey with you. 2
Buddhist Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Because those girls aren't actually women yet. They are still brainwashed by high school ideals of somehow winning the hard to get guy. They have little sense of self and even less self esteem and seek the attentions of people who don't want them as a way to validate their own worth. It's bizarre but it's also a fairly common psychology in young men too. This is just young clueless people. If you happen to find the same thing in an older person then this is an immature clueless person. I know a young girl who basically presents her pussy to anyone that will have it with an atittude of I'm so hot look at all the guys that want to **** me. She hasn't worked out yet that most guys would put their dick into a dogs arse if it would hold still long enough. They don't want her because she's desirable, they want her because she is free. The self esteem issues of young people are indeed very, very worrying. 3
Mjm1014 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Dude, I agree with you 100%...it's crazy. I feel like the older I get (approaching 30), the worse this actually becomes. The worst part is, if you get suckered into texting them back and act into them they pull back all of a sudden like they are just in it for some sort of validation. The last girl I dated texted me more than any person I've dated in the past-she would always initiate and would send up to 200 texts a day. One day out of the blue she tells me she doesn't feel the spark because she loves the chase and I wasn't coming off as a catch and she ended things with me. Few weeks later, I meet a new girl, she's totally into me, texting me like crazy but I wasn't feeling it. I tried to end it with her and she started stalking me hard.... After that ^^ I've told myself I'm done texting girls all together and I'm making that clear to them from the start that I hate texting. I'm not falling for the trap again. Second, until they show me their self worth, I'm not going out of my way for them...I use to be a nice guy but that's slowly changing with women and I hate to say it, but I don't trust them like I use to off the bat. I feel like 90% don't know what they want in the beginning. I'm a super busy guy so I really don't have time for the games like I use to. Sorry my rant is over haha 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 After that ^^ I've told myself I'm done texting girls all together and I'm making that clear to them from the start that I hate texting. I'm not falling for the trap again. Second, until they show me their self worth, I'm not going out of my way for them...I use to be a nice guy but that's slowly changing with women and I hate to say it, but I don't trust them like I use to off the bat. I feel like 90% don't know what they want in the beginning. I'm a super busy guy so I really don't have time for the games like I use to. Sorry my rant is over haha Just because you're finally developing a life for yourself, and are being selective with your time, doesn't make you an a-hole. What you associate with being "nice" are weak traits that turn women off like being a texting buddy, and being too available and needy. It is more than possible to be monogamous and treat women with respect, while having standards and acting like you have a pair of balls. So while you think you're having to be an "a-hole", you're finally just becoming a man that respects himself as much as he does the women he pursues. That's what women want. I mean how is a guy supposed to get women to respect him, if he doesn't value and respect himself? 1
Mjm1014 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I do respect myself, and am the type that likes to get to know one person at a time..I don't go overboard texting and calling, but I feel like the moment you show any kind of interest its a done deal. Maybe it's the type of girl I go after..who knows.
Toodaloo Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 Dude. You are dating the wrong kind of women... 1
elaine567 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 There are always going to be people who are needy, people who will put up with anything, people who never get the message, people who are so full of themselves they can't contemplate anyone else not wanting them, people who see something they like and will keep going until it is obviously hopeless. So just because you think treating them mean, seems to attract them, that may not be the reality. Similarly there are people who are not that interested, not that focussed, people who wouldn't see an opportunity or a good thing if it smacked them in the face. People who are always chasing rainbows, people who are never satisfied, people who flake and fade, people who do not want a relationship, people who are scared of relationships and people who self sabotage in the face of the best thing they have had ever. So just because you think treating them nice will attract and keep them, is not necessarily true. People all have their own agendas and what you do and what they do, may not have anything to do with each other. Finding someone who matches up is always going to be difficult, but it IS possible. Keep the faith.
okc85 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 LIES. If a girl likes you, she likes you. There's no magic formula here. This is what you do: Go on dates. Lots of 'em. BE YOU. Some girls won't like you. Some will. So let's say you meet a girl and she's into you. You need to figure out how often she wants to be contacted. You gotta feel her out. She might LIKE to be texted all the time. She might not. We're all different. But don't fall for PUA crap because it doesn't work. Please just be yourself and find a girl who likes the real you. She's out there, but you just might need to take time to find her. Maybe assess whether you're going for a certain type. Do some hard thinking. Maybe reach out to a girl you'd otherwise ignore. You might surprise yourself.
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