walkitout Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 We've been dating for 9 months. He's pretty much my bf because we see eachother pretty much every week and he initiates contact with me everyday and we're not seeing other people but we still haven't made our relationship official. He has issues with being in a committed relationship, he told me he is scared of being in a relationship because all relationships end and you just get hurt in the end. Sometimes when i invite him to hangout with me, he bails on hanging out and i get really mad so i distance, usually ignore and that's when he wants me most and then actually asks me to hangout with him. I don't get it, why is he doing this? When i ask to hangout he bails but when i ignore him, distance, he asks to see me and keeps conntacting me... why does he do this? It's so frustrating!
fred123 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 We've been dating for 9 months. He's pretty much my bf because we see eachother pretty much every week and he initiates contact with me everyday and we're not seeing other people but we still haven't made our relationship official. He has issues with being in a committed relationship, he told me he is scared of being in a relationship because all relationships end and you just get hurt in the end. Sometimes when i invite him to hangout with me, he bails on hanging out and i get really mad so i distance, usually ignore and that's when he wants me most and then actually asks me to hangout with him. I don't get it, why is he doing this? When i ask to hangout he bails but when i ignore him, distance, he asks to see me and keeps conntacting me... why does he do this? It's so frustrating! You date kids thats why. Ones that arent mature i guess. Can i ask how old you are? Maybe girls love these bad type boys 1
Author walkitout Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 You date kids thats why. Ones that arent mature i guess. Can i ask how old you are? Maybe girls love these bad type boys I'm 27,he's 31
kendahke Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 We've been dating for 9 months. He's pretty much my bf because we see eachother pretty much every week and he initiates contact with me everyday and we're not seeing other people but we still haven't made our relationship official. He has issues with being in a committed relationship, he told me he is scared of being in a relationship because all relationships end and you just get hurt in the end. Sometimes when i invite him to hangout with me, he bails on hanging out and i get really mad so i distance, usually ignore and that's when he wants me most and then actually asks me to hangout with him. I don't get it, why is he doing this? When i ask to hangout he bails but when i ignore him, distance, he asks to see me and keeps conntacting me... why does he do this? It's so frustrating! He does it because you keep showing up when he calls and wants to hang out. He doesn't have to acknowledge your needs/wants because you've shown him that you will be there despite how he treats you. He doesn't sound like he needs a girlfriend. He sounds like he needs a shrink. He is sending you mixed signals to keep you off balance and to not be what you need. If his past was that traumatic, then he needs to steer clear of relationships until he's gotten himself sorted out. 4
fred123 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Date proper men simple. Who have their stuff together, know what they want and want to be your official gf within 2 mobths or so etc. Why do women go for the wrong guys?!! 3
Jessie1231 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 He sounds immature. Really immature for his age. After dating for nine months, it's a relationship whether you label it as one or not. And he should be making plans with you regularly instead of only doing it when you're giving him the silent treatment. 1
Author walkitout Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 He sounds immature. Really immature for his age. After dating for nine months, it's a relationship whether you label it as one or not. And he should be making plans with you regularly instead of only doing it when you're giving him the silent treatment. Thanks so much for your feedback guys! Yea I've never been in a real relationship and everyone tells me that dating for 9 months and no committment is not right.I do agree that he's immature.All his friends are married and have kids and he doesn't even have his life together yet 1
kendahke Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Thanks so much for your feedback guys! Yea I've never been in a real relationship and everyone tells me that dating for 9 months and no committment is not right.I do agree that he's immature.All his friends are married and have kids and he doesn't even have his life together yet Leave that where you found it and move on. That's pretty tragic that he's in his 30's and doesn't have his life together. That is what he needs to be focusing on. 2
Author walkitout Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 Leave that where you found it and move on. That's pretty tragic that he's in his 30's and doesn't have his life together. That is what he needs to be focusing on. You're right and you're also right about the fact that i'm always there for him.Like when he actually does ask to hangout i always say yes and come see him.I'm so tired of these games.Just want a real relationship where i dont have to walk on egg shells and can express myself and not worry about saying or doing the wrong thing to scare him away It's just hard to move on when you're attached and used to a person 1
kendahke Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 It's just hard to move on when you're attached and used to a person Actually, it's not hard to move on. That's the easy part. The decision to move on is what is hard. It's going to be daunting until you've resolved in your mind to move on. 3
Author walkitout Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 Actually, it's not hard to move on. That's the easy part. The decision to move on is what is hard. It's going to be daunting until you've resolved in your mind to move on. You're right:(Thank you so much for your advice!Yea it's hard to just put your foot down and decide to move on.When you get used to a person they become a part of you and moving on feels like losing a little part of you because you put so much of your time and effort into that person you were with
Gary S Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Another crazy guy. Just because he's beautiful and breathing does not mean he's good relationship material. 1
Eggplant Posted April 18, 2015 Posted April 18, 2015 There's not enough attraction here for a marriage, FYI. Not saying you have to care about that, but really why be with him when you could we in a more intense relationship where you're nuts about each other? 1
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