bent Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 we broke up in 2013, or rather, she broke up with me in 2013. she just dropped the bomb one day and told me straight that she doesn't love me anymore. so ok. I accepted that. i tried to move on. tried to focus on myself. life's doing well. i even had a short relationship last year, although it didn't last, i could say that I really liked the girl. i still think of her time to time but that's about it. there's nothing really deep shared between us. my first ex though was different. those two years, i haven't really forgotten her. even when I was with the new girl and was feeling happy with her, the ex never really left my mind. i am fine. i mingle from time to time. I even have new crushes and is doing well with my career. she's doing fine too and happy with her new love. (I started checking her social media accounts last december) there is no pain anymore. I am well over the bitterness and the sleepless nights but I still long for her. why can't I stop myself thinking about her? why can't i stop myself imagining it would still be us one day?
marcelo.santos Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 (I started checking her social media accounts last december) there is no pain anymore What I see here is that you do not need her - you need a new love - you are sad due you are alone and she looks happy with a new love. Keep moving on - now you are a better man and you will find a better girl, believe me. Just keep moving on Maybe is a good idea to stop looking at her social media and focus on new girls.
Author bent Posted April 19, 2015 Author Posted April 19, 2015 What I see here is that you do not need her - you need a new love - you are sad due you are alone and she looks happy with a new love. Keep moving on - now you are a better man and you will find a better girl, believe me. Just keep moving on Maybe is a good idea to stop looking at her social media and focus on new girls. it's true, i'm lonely. despite doing well with a lot of things in life, i still fall short in the love department. or maybe i have not truly moved on. I loved this girl deeply. I planned my life with her. she taught me how to truly think about the future. now that its here, i just want to share it with her. when I was with the new girl, i felt genuinely happy but the ghost of the old one never left. I forced myself to forget her and focus all me energy with the new one, but I still messed up eventually deciding to leave her. it's been a year since then. there were other girls, harmless ones but never did i commit myself like i did with the last one. i'm afraid i would leave them in the end because I could not move on from the very first girl i love. I'm sorry for venting. I just need to let it out. I can't talk about it with my friends knowing that they know who the girl is. nor to my colleagues who are now happily married. that maybe is one thing. I'm surrounded with happily married men and I want to be just like them. thanks for reading
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 I started checking her social media accounts last december... there is no pain anymore.... but I still long for her. why can't I stop myself thinking about her? why can't i stop myself imagining it would still be us one day? There is a lot going on in these statements. Examine your feelings carefully and be truthful with yourself.
Author bent Posted April 27, 2015 Author Posted April 27, 2015 There is a lot going on in these statements. Examine your feelings carefully and be truthful with yourself. you guys are right. I guess i'm just lonely. I only think of her when I'm alone with my thoughts, don't have anyone to think about except her. the past days have been busy and i also stopped checking her social media account. until yesterday when I opened my email and she sent me a simple "hi". obviously she's still with her boyfriend and she seems happy with him. the fact that I'm here again means that i'm bothered by her message.
Author bent Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 Hope you have not respond to that? I have not. A part of me though is curious about it, so I checked her account again this morning and she and her boyfriend seem to have broken up. Well, i'm flattered being remembered after all those two years but I think she's just lonely and probably feeling the same way as I did before when we broke up. As the readers of this post know, I have been thinking about her the past couple of months, but fleetingly forgotten about her when I got busy. That simple Hi from her took me 360 degrees back and now I am dying to know what she's gonna say. I know however that sending her a message will further lead me towards a painful path again. Can you please enlighten me though, why she sent me a message now that her relationship turned sour.(I think it is the guy who broke up with her) I don't wanna ask it to her directly so my apology guys and ladies if I am turning this question to you. I badly need answers. thank you
geronimo Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 I have not. A part of me though is curious about it, so I checked her account again this morning and she and her boyfriend seem to have broken up. Well, i'm flattered being remembered after all those two years but I think she's just lonely and probably feeling the same way as I did before when we broke up. As the readers of this post know, I have been thinking about her the past couple of months, but fleetingly forgotten about her when I got busy. That simple Hi from her took me 360 degrees back and now I am dying to know what she's gonna say. I know however that sending her a message will further lead me towards a painful path again. Can you please enlighten me though, why she sent me a message now that her relationship turned sour.(I think it is the guy who broke up with her) I don't wanna ask it to her directly so my apology guys and ladies if I am turning this question to you. I badly need answers. thank you Its because she wants that validation that someone (you) still care about her and will be willing to be with her at the snap of her fingers. Don't give her that satisfaction. If she truly wanted to be with you and wanted to reconcile and realized what she did wrong she would have made more of an effort to reach out to you and talk to you. Just ignore this, I can't imagine how hard it must be to hear from her and not message back, idk if I would be able to ignore, but then again its only been 5 months for me. A part of me says tho that if you are that curious maybe having a casual conversation with her might set the tone of her intensions, but you have to be very strong willed and know that there is no going back. You also cannot project any feelings/emotions towards her in these conversations cuz that way she will get what she came to you for. Just be polite and casual and keep control of your emotions. If you don't think you're able to do that then forget it, ignore it and just pretend like it never happened.
Author bent Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 Its because she wants that validation that someone (you) still care about her and will be willing to be with her at the snap of her fingers. Don't give her that satisfaction. If she truly wanted to be with you and wanted to reconcile and realized what she did wrong she would have made more of an effort to reach out to you and talk to you. Just ignore this, I can't imagine how hard it must be to hear from her and not message back, idk if I would be able to ignore, but then again its only been 5 months for me. A part of me says tho that if you are that curious maybe having a casual conversation with her might set the tone of her intensions, but you have to be very strong willed and know that there is no going back. You also cannot project any feelings/emotions towards her in these conversations cuz that way she will get what she came to you for. Just be polite and casual and keep control of your emotions. If you don't think you're able to do that then forget it, ignore it and just pretend like it never happened. thanks man, I appreciate it. my curiosity is so high but you are right, I'll probably just ignore her because I'm not sure I'd be able to control my emotions. 2 years down the drain, this girl is selfish to message me just to have self-validation. by the way, hope everything's doing well for you. 1
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