simon_uk Posted April 17, 2005 Posted April 17, 2005 Well i have been thinking a lot about my relationship and I have had some interesting if not sickening thoughts. I am trying to blame this break up on the fact that I did not commit to my girl soon enough. But maybe I am fooling myslef, maybe she has just fallen out of love with me. I mean she did say I love you but I am not in love with you, that the spark had gone. It is more than likely due to the fact that I took things for granted, she just got tired of it and she stopped loving me. So now I feel like I am back at step one of the break up. I feel so lost and lonely. If somebody can just give up then that makes me think it wasn't really true love at all. If peopel are not prepared to accept people the way they are, then do they really love that person? I am at my wits end trying to fathom things and over analyze. I would do anything to save my relationship with this girl, she obviously wont. Some people forgive their SO's for cheating and physical abuse, why wont my ex forgive me for being lazy and taking things for granted now and again??? It is so hard to accept. Can this love come back? Simon
Tony T Posted April 17, 2005 Posted April 17, 2005 Why are you wanting to save a relationship with somebody who doesn't want to be with you? That's such a total waste of time. Yes, the rejection is painful and you can screw your mind up all year wondering what might have been if you would have done this or that differently. Why don't you take the lessons you've learned and get out there to find the RIGHT person for you, somebody who wants to be with you? While you're at it, make an index card and write on it "I will NOT take the person I love for granted today" and tape it to the mirror where you shave. So many relationships end because people grow used to each other and just take it for granted that the other person is going to be there. Relationships are living things which must be fed and maintained in order to sustain their lives.
Author simon_uk Posted April 17, 2005 Author Posted April 17, 2005 Because thats what you do when you love somebody. Simon
happy45 Posted April 17, 2005 Posted April 17, 2005 simon, you and i are in the same boat and boy is it hard. its been like 5 weeks for me now, and it still seems to get worse each day. 9 years together, living together for 1 year and engaged for 3 months, and one day she just up and leaves, saying she isnt in love any more and that she wasnt happy becasue she never felt loved. i took things for granted. this girl chased me my whole life even when i didnt want her. but i did finally decide she was the one and i thought things were great. but apparently she didnt feel that way. i cant help but wonder how long ago she fell out of love. it's rough man. she moved out and hasn't looked back. she moved right in with a (lonely, as he always used to tell her) coworker that was giving her all the emotional support that i apparently wasnt. now she says she is falling in love with him and has never even showed any sadness of leaving me. this just 3 months after saying yes to be my wife. this tuesday will be 9 years to the day since i met her. i hope for your sake and for mine that this love can come back. i lost her once before for almost 1.5 years and she came back. but this time seems final for me. especially with the other man involved now. she wanted to be with me SOO much all this time, and suddenly its all gone. it hurts thinking how badly she must have been hurting (and not telling me about it) to actually leave......to upset her family, put herself into financial trouble and to walk out on the person who has been there for her for 9 years..... best of luck simon! here's to hoping that our lost loves someday come back and give us a chance to show them how much we have changed. i know i would do anything for her......and im sure you feel the same way.
Author simon_uk Posted April 17, 2005 Author Posted April 17, 2005 Hi happy! yes I do feel the same as you! My ex was the same as yours, she just loved me sooooooo much and i think that is part of the reason why I held back, because i felt abit smothere at times. She didnt give me much chance to smother her because she was always first to do it. Same with sex, I didnt really get chance to initiate it because she always did. she always asked me why i didnt initiate and I told her the truth. i also probably unwisely told ehr that I have never had anybody want sex with me as much as she did, most women I have been with you have to woo them and coax them into it, with her i never had to. so you see this is why i took it for granted, it was almost as if I didnt have to try because she always did. The same with cuddles, kissing, arranging dates etc, she took complete control because she wanted to. But then blamed me for not making an effort. Fortunately for me, my ex hasnt met anyody else at least not that I am aware of. But I am now coming to terms witht he fact that she doesnt love me and she isnt coming back. I really wish she would. Just little things she said prior to us splitting up makes me think she loves me, but things she has said since contradict that. i just dont know anymore. I want to fight for her but what is the point if she doesnt love me??? good luck happy, i think we both need it! simon
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