Wisecrack Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 All these failed dates and starting relationships have taught me one thing. If there is something consistently wrong around you, it is most likely you. As such , I've been reflecting more to try and figure out what deficiencies I need to work on. Lately I think I've narrowed myself down to a very significant factor. I am a big flirt. Popular girls, models, less attractive girls, rounder girls, the elderly, you name it and I'll happily have a good conversation and good tease. Couple this with me being a more touchy type of person and people - including guys - naturally warm up to my inviting nature. Unfortunately girls who are my love interest soon lose interest when I am out and experience this side of me - particularly if I have had a few to drink. I don't think I have boundaries as such. It's just my friendly nature. Guys too once their female interests, SO or simply female friends start being drawn to me start to treat me more negatively. I don't want to sound arrogant nor am I a bad person. I just don't know how else to act. But I want to change. I don't know how but still be that warm person without this side. I want to find a chick I am attracted to whom I will just sit down, relax and enjoy her company rather than push her away as I wonder about as a social butterfly flirting with all. How do I change?
Bohonia Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Be aware of when you are out with someone making sure you show up and are consistent with them while you are out with THEM. Develop some boundaries you are messing up a lot of potentially great relationships both romantic and platonic due to your behavior.
preraph Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Being a flirt is a great thing, but only if you have control over it. The problem with flirting with others when you are with someone is that it is an overt act of disrespect toward your date or your woman. If you cannot control yourself and confine yourself to ONLY flirting with her when you are with her, then this is a weakness and not an asset! And what it would say about you if you can't stop yourself from doing it is that you have a problem needing constant validation that you are attractive, which is a sign of bad self-esteem. You shouldn't need that from random women when you already have a woman, even if it's only for the evening. So if you can't stop yourself, then you might need some help finding out why validation is so important to you. But if you can control it, then use it to your best advantage by deploying your charm only at the women you are with at the time and save spreading it around for when you're single.
Diezel Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 How about you embrace it and just find someone who will embrace it with you?
Redhead14 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 All these failed dates and starting relationships have taught me one thing. If there is something consistently wrong around you, it is most likely you. As such , I've been reflecting more to try and figure out what deficiencies I need to work on. Lately I think I've narrowed myself down to a very significant factor. I am a big flirt. Popular girls, models, less attractive girls, rounder girls, the elderly, you name it and I'll happily have a good conversation and good tease. Couple this with me being a more touchy type of person and people - including guys - naturally warm up to my inviting nature. Unfortunately girls who are my love interest soon lose interest when I am out and experience this side of me - particularly if I have had a few to drink. I don't think I have boundaries as such. It's just my friendly nature. Guys too once their female interests, SO or simply female friends start being drawn to me start to treat me more negatively. I don't want to sound arrogant nor am I a bad person. I just don't know how else to act. But I want to change. I don't know how but still be that warm person without this side. I want to find a chick I am attracted to whom I will just sit down, relax and enjoy her company rather than push her away as I wonder about as a social butterfly flirting with all. How do I change? I'm don't think you should change. The bottom line is that we should always be ourselves. The right person should and will be attracted to the real you. Trying to squash something that is part of your natural personality will be difficult and cause you to focus on it and likely be distracting to you.
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