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She keeps flaking on me...


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Posted

Started dating Katie last month. Went on first date then she asked me out the following night. Went out with her a few days after that and then the hanging out continued pretty much every other night after that.

 

I felt really iffy at that point because she was asking a lot of questions about some of my girlfriends. She felt like something else was going on. I assured her nothing else was going on. She wanted me to be exclusive with her, so I agreed.

 

About two weeks ago, her behavior changed. She took forever to respond to texts and she cancelled plans on me like 4 nights in a row.

 

I told her this was too much drama for this early on and I said I was done.

 

She comes running back a few days later saying she misses me and that she doesn't want to lose me. Says nursing school and family problems have been getting to her. I decide to try again.

 

Stupid me. She cancelled plans on me twice so far this week. Tonight, we had plans at 10pm. I texted her at 6 to make sure we were still on. 10:10 I get a text saying she can't hang out tonight. Says she's going to stay in. I ask her to call me and we talk. She says her friend is having problems and that she is going to spend time with her. Obviously, I get upset and tell her the flakiness is why w ended this last week. She replies, "we're not in a relationship. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

 

What gives? She says one thing then does another. Any ideas?

Posted

When words do not match actions, go by actions.

 

Her actions say she is not interested.

 

Time to ignore her and move on.

  • Like 6
Posted

Move on. She is using you as plan B.

  • Like 3
Posted

Fool me once, shame on you,

Fool me twice, shame on me,

 

A girl who is interested in you won't leave you second guessing. Time to let this one go. Take it as experience for the future.

  • Author
Posted
Fool me once, shame on you,

Fool me twice, shame on me,

 

A girl who is interested in you won't leave you second guessing. Time to let this one go. Take it as experience for the future.

 

You're exactly right. I'm done. Told her that last night.

Posted

Katie is crazy.

 

They have to be sane to be a catch.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted
Katie is crazy.

 

They have to be sane to be a catch.

 

I'm starting to think the same thing.

Posted

...then stop asking her out.

  • Author
Posted
...then stop asking her out.

 

I did. Told her last night I'm done.

Posted
I did. Told her last night I'm done.

 

Wise decision my friend

  • Like 1
Posted

Women don't flake on guys they're interested in. Just saying..

Posted
Women don't flake on guys they're interested in. Just saying..

 

He's right, if I'm interested in a guy, I will pretty much do anything I can to see him. Good choice for breaking up with her. She isn't crazy, she just sounds young and immature.

  • Like 1
Posted

She wouldn't 'flake' so often, something is wrong here and I wonder if she went against her 'exclusivity' thing. And to come out with 'we're not in a relationship' after pushing for exclusivity. Well, sounds like it is officially over and I think that's a good thing for you.

Posted

"We are not in a relationship".

Wow that is harsh and hurtful. Girls is this what girls say to guys they are interested in? Cos technically she is right they arent in a rship

  • Author
Posted
She wouldn't 'flake' so often, something is wrong here and I wonder if she went against her 'exclusivity' thing. And to come out with 'we're not in a relationship' after pushing for exclusivity. Well, sounds like it is officially over and I think that's a good thing for you.

 

Not really sure. The first few weeks, she was the one who I thought I had someone else I was talking to. She kept asking about the different women I would talk to at parties and at bars. She would say things like, "I'm not looking for a fling, I want something serious."

 

So when she talked about being exclusive, I agreed.

 

That's when her behavior changed. Cancellations, one word response text messages, trouble getting in touch with her. That sort of stuff.

 

And to make matters worse, I ran into her last night at a bar. She was with her two guy friends. As soon as she saw me she left with them.

  • Author
Posted
"We are not in a relationship".

Wow that is harsh and hurtful. Girls is this what girls say to guys they are interested in? Cos technically she is right they arent in a rship

 

I know, right?

Posted

You dodged a bullet there. But chin up chook. We women have the same problems with guys too!

Posted

In between lollibobs on a "friend's" pole she texts you that she's "staying in".

 

You're better off without "Katie". Plenty of prettier and saner fish in this big 7 billion strong pond of ours.

  • Author
Posted
In between lollibobs on a "friend's" pole she texts you that she's "staying in".

 

You're better off without "Katie". Plenty of prettier and saner fish in this big 7 billion strong pond of ours.

 

What does in between lollibobs mean? lol

Posted
What does in between lollibobs mean? lol

 

 

She's giving some dude head and says "wait I have to answer this text" and once she's done she goes back to business.

 

Either way you probably would have satisfied her more and she's missing out, so focus on that ;)

Posted
Not really sure. The first few weeks, she was the one who I thought I had someone else I was talking to. She kept asking about the different women I would talk to at parties and at bars. She would say things like, "I'm not looking for a fling, I want something serious."

 

So when she talked about being exclusive, I agreed.

 

That's when her behavior changed. Cancellations, one word response text messages, trouble getting in touch with her. That sort of stuff.

Sounds like projection. She was hooking up with guys so projected this onto you.

When you agreed to be exclusive, you were agreeing to you being faithful only. You were now put on the long finger, plan B.

 

Be glad it's over. Plenty more fish. And being single is better than messing with idiots like her.

Just beware, now that you have told her no, she may well contact you again, especially if she gets bored with her current supply. Don't entertain her.

  • Like 1
Posted
Sounds like projection. She was hooking up with guys so projected this onto you.

When you agreed to be exclusive, you were agreeing to you being faithful only. You were now put on the long finger, plan B.

 

Be glad it's over. Plenty more fish. And being single is better than messing with idiots like her.

Just beware, now that you have told her no, she may well contact you again, especially if she gets bored with her current supply. Don't entertain her.

 

 

 

Yep, "you being faithful only" - classic psycho chick move. Be glad you're done with her. She wants her cake and to eat it too. She's probably doin this with tons of sorry guys she keeps around as "orbiters". Chicks like that get absolutely no respect from me. Be done with the bish!

  • Author
Posted
Sounds like projection. She was hooking up with guys so projected this onto you.

When you agreed to be exclusive, you were agreeing to you being faithful only. You were now put on the long finger, plan B.

 

Be glad it's over. Plenty more fish. And being single is better than messing with idiots like her.

Just beware, now that you have told her no, she may well contact you again, especially if she gets bored with her current supply. Don't entertain her.

 

Guess we'll never know for sure.

 

And yes, I suspect that I will hear from her again.

  • Author
Posted

Figured I would update everyone on this one since there were a lot of good theories.

 

She texted me on Saturday, but I didn't reply. She was asking about the night before and how I ran into her.

 

Heard through a friend that her Facebook status changed to "In a Relationship" yesterday.

 

Looks like she found someone pretty quickly.

 

Or... I was right all along and she was playing with me.

 

Hurt? Yes. Will I move on? Yes. Blessed and better off? Yes.

  • Author
Posted

Not really sure why I let this girl get to my head, but she has. I seem to be having obsessive thoughts about her and this entire thing. Which is weird, because in all honesty, in the beginning, I wasn't really sure that I liked her.

 

Maybe it's the fact that I feel used? Lied to?

 

Anyway, I keep running into her in the downtown scene. I was out with friends on Friday night and saw her at a bar again. This is like 5th time this has happened in the past couple of weeks. She was with her ex-boyfriend. A friend of hers saw me and pulled me aside and told me the truth. He said she had been talking to her ex the entire time and they finally worked things out.

 

Now I know the truth.

 

I was pretty drunk and this behavior is completely out of character for me, but at that point I walked up to her and called her a lying b**** and a terrible person.

 

Anyone else ever been so upset about something that really shouldn't even upset you? This relationship only lasted about 2 months but for some reason it's affecting me.

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