PortoMarco11 Posted April 17, 2005 Posted April 17, 2005 I broke up with my girlfriend of two years about a month ago. And I am ready to move on. Already I find myself in a predicament where I need some advice. First, before I describe the situation I will describe a bit about myself. I am 26 years old, and ridiculously shy. Approaching women at a club or a bar is damned near impossible for me because I fear rejection. Hell, approaching'em anywhere is difficult for me. However there is a paradox here, whenever I go out in a group and if that group has women in them I tend to be very charming and funny and have no problem interacting with the women in that group. I also do not have many friends, this is entirely my fault. Whenever I get into a relationship I invest so much into it that I end up hardly seeing/speaking to my friends. My best friend is a girl who is studying for her CFA exam in June (* important piece of info for the 'situation') Now the situation. A couple of weeks ago I went out to a cafe to meet with my best friend, her boyfriend (who was visiting from out country) and two of my best friends girlfriends. One of them was gorgeous ("X"). So naturally at the cafe I spoke with her and made her laugh a few times. I enjoyed speaking with her and wanted to get to know her more. One week later we all met up again at a club, but she came with a date. I asked my best friend if they were serious, she laughed and said no and that "she" was having a terrible time with this guy at the club. I moved in, flirted, laughed, etc...Throughout the night I did that thing where I pretend to look at her discreetly, and when she matches my gaze I look away after about 5 seconds. Happened all night. (Friday). On Monday I met up with my pal at lunch (we work for different companies, nearby though) and told her I wanted "X"'s phone number. She said that first she would have to ask X to see if that was ok. I found that odd. She also told me that X asked about me at the cafe and wanted to know if I had a girlfriend (good?). Move onto Thursday my pal calls me and says that X doesn't want to give the phone number because of the following reasons; - she too has just gotten out of a serious relationship (about the same time as me) - The reason her date went so bad was because she kept on comparing her date to her ex, while at the club and she said that she doesn't want to do one-on-one dates for the next little while because she is scared she may do that with me (how do I read that?) - she wants to see me again, but in a group date scenario where she would feel more secure and comfortable Now here lies the problem. I would have no problem with this if my friend wasn't studying for her CFA. My friend is my *only* connection to this girl and she is in the midst of studying for her CFA, forget about going out. Now I do have X's email, but I won't ask for the # or a date because of what my friend told me. How am I supposed to meet with X in a group date scenario? My friend won't leave her house cause of the CFA, and I don't have many friends that I could bring along on a group date. Is X politely telling my friend that she is not interested? Should I look to another girl? Help me out! Cheers
curiousnycgirl Posted April 17, 2005 Posted April 17, 2005 How about arranging a group outing and sending an email to "the group" which would of course include X?
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