Honeybunnies Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Hey everyone! So I went on a date last night. A mutual friend thought the two of us would get along - and because I'm somewhat newly single, I'm sure my friend wanted to help "get me back out into the dating world." So we meet at a used bookshop/cafe (his idea, which I totally digged), and he seemed nice. We talked, flirted, he touched me a lot, seemed interested. All good signs, right? The problem came when we sat down for coffee. Now, I had noticed in the beginning he was checking his phone a lot. I dismissed it - maybe he was expecting something? A call? Who knows! However, while we were drinking our beverages, he would basically check his phone every three seconds it seemed - even left it on the table for easy access. He started texting, I could tell by the way his fingers moved really fast. Now, this is a huge pet peeve of mine. I understand there are some circumstances where it's somewhat okay to be texting/checking your phone (kids, job, etc). But I think it's incredibly rude most of the time. It got to the point where I was sitting in silence, staring at my mug, waiting for him to finish. I finally asked and forced a small laugh, "is everything ok? You seem glued to that thing." Without even hesitating, he answered, "Oh it's just this girl I'm talking to off PoF." Now, it didn't bother me that he was talking to another girl - but right in front of me? On our first meeting?? Like???? And it didn't stop there! He began to show me her profile!! And asked what I thought of her!! At that moment, I just smiled and said, "Well, I really need to get going. Nice meeting you." And left. Is this what I should expect from most guys?? He's texted me since, asking to meet up again - I haven't responded. I don't really plan to either. Did I do the right thing? Or am I totally misjudging the situation?
app345 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 i'm a guy and if a girl did that to me I would have done the same thing you did. That's just rude. You definitely did the right thing. I wouldn't reply to him either. If you must respond, send a dick pic. 8
Author Honeybunnies Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 Thank you!! I agree, it was so rude!! Good to know, especially from a male's perspective, it wasn't ok. He didn't seem to find anything weird or wrong about it. LOL a dick pic would basically be a selfie of him at this point.
Gloria25 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Lol.... Reminds me of a Sex and the City where Charlotte caught this guy she invited to the art gallery where she worked, and caught him in the backroom boinking a chick he was eyeballing all evening....Worst he is still inside the other woman, turns his head to Charlotte and was like 'but, I still wanna boink YOU' Oh girl, I chalk it up to the lack of social grace, courtesy, and tact people - especially guys have now a days. Shoot, even at work people in the middle of meetings, training, etc just whipp out the phone and are literally texting, goofing off, surfing. At the dinner table and/or restaurants, people do the same. I once went out with a gf who spent our entire dinner date on her cel...well, I recently dumped her for that and other reasons. I kidd you not, on dates and at the dinner table, my phone goes on my lap and/or in the purse...I "may" check it if he or I go to the bathroom or something. Now, once a supervisor yelled at me cuz I was writing on stuff while he was talking and yea, did it to say a major "f-U"...but, at the same time, I can multitask and I take advantage of booring meetings/training to work on other stuff...but, I am paying attention to...if they say anything of importance, then I'll write it down and/or participate at that time. I mean, it's one thing for him to be honest with you that he isn't keeping all his eggs in one basket, but that was just plain rude. 1
Gloria25 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 i'm a guy and if a girl did that to me I would have done the same thing you did. That's just rude. You definitely did the right thing. I wouldn't reply to him either. If you must respond, send a dick pic. And send him a flacid pic of the penis...cuz according to Aziz Ansari, the pic of a flacid one means he made you sad.... 1
app345 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 flaccid and flopped out on the countertop or something. 2
Author Honeybunnies Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 Lol.... Reminds me of a Sex and the City where Charlotte caught this guy she invited to the art gallery where she worked, and caught him in the backroom boinking a chick he was eyeballing all evening....Worst he is still inside the other woman, turns his head to Charlotte and was like 'but, I still wanna boink YOU' Oh girl, I chalk it up to the lack of social grace, courtesy, and tact people - especially guys have now a days. Shoot, even at work people in the middle of meetings, training, etc just whipp out the phone and are literally texting, goofing off, surfing. At the dinner table and/or restaurants, people do the same. I once went out with a gf who spent our entire dinner date on her cel...well, I recently dumped her for that and other reasons. I kidd you not, on dates and at the dinner table, my phone goes on my lap and/or in the purse...I "may" check it if he or I go to the bathroom or something. Now, once a supervisor yelled at me cuz I was writing on stuff while he was talking and yea, did it to say a major "f-U"...but, at the same time, I can multitask and I take advantage of booring meetings/training to work on other stuff...but, I am paying attention to...if they say anything of importance, then I'll write it down and/or participate at that time. I mean, it's one thing for him to be honest with you that he isn't keeping all his eggs in one basket, but that was just plain rude. Omg I remember that episode! Thank goodness for Sex and the City marathons on E! Lol. No, I totally understand about being able to multitask - but there's always a time and place for that. And hey, I check my phone when the other person is in the bathroom too! I wasn't upset that he was talking to another girl - I mean, it was our first meeting. I'm not that jealous lol. It was just did that he did it in front of me. Thanks for replying! Your posts always have spunk LOL 1
preraph Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 He was rude and he wasn't interested in you either. Sorry you had to experience that. Tell your friend what happened and remind your friend next time there's a fixup that the guy should be "available," and this one wasn't. 2
Buddhist Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 No. It seems like he was more interested in the the girl of PoF than you. I would do the same. I've no time for people who display rudeness and a total lack of etiquette. The guys a scanner and will jump towards whoever pays him the most attention. These guys are not worth your time. He's an attention whore. 2
Buddhist Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Wow. Just wow. I can see why he's single. And probably will remain so for the rest of his natural life. What was going through his head in that moment is what I want to know. 1
Syberia Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 I'm a guy, and I agree that was a total dick move. 1
DoesntGetIt Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 I have been fortunate that on all my first dates since becoming newly single, the phones have stayed in their holsters. However, I dated one girl for a couple months where at first she would never use the phone/text while we were together. Several dates, and nights spent over there and simply no phone use. Then as she started to pull away (and we were in agreement we could both see other people) she would start using the phone and texting here and there while we were together. Given that we'd hang out typically once to twice a week, it annoyed me because she had plenty of other times to text. In the end it was just a sign of where things where headed and we called it off. If you're in a serious relationship and spend lots of time together, by all means, use your phone when you want. If you are early dating (and especially on the first date) keep that thing away. 1
veggirl Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Wow what a dick. I'd have been stunned into silence if he said that to me, good for you for getting up and leaving. I've never went on a date where a guy had his phone out, doesn't everyone know that's horrible etiquette?! 2
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