I_Give_Up67 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Reading through many of the stories shared here has made me examine some of my past nightmare relationships. One in particular from several years ago, still makes me cringe when I think about it. Though I can at least say, I've completely healed emotionally since. She was a co-worker when we started dating and after a month she moved in with me. Our passion and chemistry was very intense, or so I thought. We were together for about 2 months when I discovered she was banging a guy about 15 years older we were, I promptly kicked her out. If finding out about her cheating wasn't already bad enough, the events that followed were a real punch below the belt with steel gloves. The following night after I'd asked her to leave, I was awakened by a phone call from her, which I refused to answer so it went to voice mail. Curiosity got the better of me and I listened to the message and it was a man's voice that said, "hey I_Give_Up67, I'm f***ing your GF right now", in a very taunting way. My heart nearly exploded and I literally became physically ill upon listening to that message. In a panic I dialed her number back and she answered the call, but instead of saying anything, she held the phone so I could hear them having sex. She would ocassionally place the phone so I could her moaning and breathing heavily. In shock, I'd finally had enough and ended the call. She repeatedly dialed back but I did not answer. I lay there in bed completely destroyed and emasculated at that moment. Any feelings I had left for her turned to hatred, once I'd processed what had just happened. The worst was yet to come. Three days later she shows up at my door unannouced to apologize and "work things out", WTF???. I refused to let her inside and asked her to leave my property. She tried to beg and plead with me, so when that failed she became hostile, then tried to force her way inside. While I was blocking the door, she pulled out a steak knife and stabbed me in the shoulder, then jumped in her car and fled. I managed to call for help and ended up in a trauma unit for surgery that evening. My question is: How many of you have been the targets of hurtful acts of revenge by exSOs' during or after the break up? Such as sexual taunting, acts of violence etc,. If so, has it affected your subsequent relationships?
Author I_Give_Up67 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 lol! this woman was OUT OF CONTROL! Yeah tell me about it! She turned out to be a bit crazy!
DrReplyInRhymes Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 It's not your problem, distance from them as far as you can, It's obvious a problem of theirs to dissect and understand, You don't want to be around people who try to do that to you, All do is move forward, leave people like that in the dust and rear-view. The next time you come across someone so spiteful and cruel, Tell them they're not worth it, it'll enrage them cuz they're a tool, Move on and be gone from such craziness and despair, In the end, they'll be alone, and you'll be with someone fair. 1
dave_1966 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Reading through many of the stories shared here has made me examine some of my past nightmare relationships. One in particular from several years ago, still makes me cringe when I think about it. Though I can at least say, I've completely healed emotionally since. She was a co-worker when we started dating and after a month she moved in with me. Our passion and chemistry was very intense, or so I thought. We were together for about 2 months when I discovered she was banging a guy about 15 years older we were, I promptly kicked her out. If finding out about her cheating wasn't already bad enough, the events that followed were a real punch below the belt with steel gloves. The following night after I'd asked her to leave, I was awakened by a phone call from her, which I refused to answer so it went to voice mail. Curiosity got the better of me and I listened to the message and it was a man's voice that said, "hey I_Give_Up67, I'm f***ing your GF right now", in a very taunting way. My heart nearly exploded and I literally became physically ill upon listening to that message. In a panic I dialed her number back and she answered the call, but instead of saying anything, she held the phone so I could hear them having sex. She would ocassionally place the phone so I could her moaning and breathing heavily. In shock, I'd finally had enough and ended the call. She repeatedly dialed back but I did not answer. I lay there in bed completely destroyed and emasculated at that moment. Any feelings I had left for her turned to hatred, once I'd processed what had just happened. The worst was yet to come. Three days later she shows up at my door unannouced to apologize and "work things out", WTF???. I refused to let her inside and asked her to leave my property. She tried to beg and plead with me, so when that failed she became hostile, then tried to force her way inside. While I was blocking the door, she pulled out a steak knife and stabbed me in the shoulder, then jumped in her car and fled. I managed to call for help and ended up in a trauma unit for surgery that evening. My question is: How many of you have been the targets of hurtful acts of revenge by exSOs' during or after the break up? Such as sexual taunting, acts of violence etc,. If so, has it affected your subsequent relationships? Jeez, that's crazy. That means that if she had got in the house she was planning to possibly kill you. Did you call the police? I would have had her arrested fr attempted murder, knowing which side of the pond you're on I would have almost wished she resisted arrest and got shot. What a whack job, what were you doing with this psycho? Don't judge other women by this nut jobs standards. 1
Broken ruby Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) It seems like she has been violent or has shown violent behavior to you before. At this point, i hope you are in no contact with her period and got an order protection. I am in law enforcement and dealt with 911 domestic abuse and responded to domestic related homicides and seen a lot stuff. I strongly suggest you press charges and get an order of protection. In her mind she feels she can get away with this and usually criminals will repeat this act and later doing something fatal to you or someone else. SHE IS A CRIMINAL. Trust me. You don't need to be on an episode called "snapped". apart from everyone's story, It wasn't your heart that's on the line but your life. And in this SPECIFIC case your life is be valued first. No contact should be established, not only to heal, but to ensure you are safe to live another day in your case. To ensure a no repeat of this experience, you should just take it slow when dating other people and be alert of any signs of aggression in their personality. People tend to show red flags which we can easily ignore especially during honeymoon phase. But just know you wouldn't want someone who plays games with your head. She was immature to do have a man call you like that. You want someone who is confident, stable, and mature enough to express their concerns without using a knife or displaying psychotic behavior. She apparently needed professional help Edited April 17, 2015 by Broken ruby 1
Author I_Give_Up67 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 Jeez, that's crazy. That means that if she had got in the house she was planning to possibly kill you. Did you call the police? I would have had her arrested fr attempted murder, knowing which side of the pond you're on I would have almost wished she resisted arrest and got shot. What a whack job, what were you doing with this psycho? Don't judge other women by this nut jobs standards. She was arrested two weeks later when they finally found her. The state in which I lived at the time, had a huge backlog of criminal cases. They charged her with Aggravated Assault (felony) causing bodily harm, while armed with knife. Her attorney (one the guys she was banging) kept the case tied up in the court system for over a year and a half. A full two years after the incident, I received a call from the prosecutor informing me that in a plea deal, the charges were downgraded to Simple Assault (misdemeanor) to which she plead guilty. She was ordered to pay restitution for my medical expenses, and served two years probation. At the time I was satisfied with the outcome and glad to put it behind me. I did not know it at the time we were dating, but she really did have some serious mental issues. I would later find out from one of her exBFs' that when he split with her, she completely destroyed his new car, and burned all of his clothes! I am happy to say that I hold no grudge against women after this experience. However, I am very cautious about getting to know the women I date now. I ignored some major red flags with the exGF, because in I was in love / lust with her.
Author I_Give_Up67 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 It seems like she has been violent or has shown violent behavior to you before. At this point, i hope you are in no contact with her period and got an order protection. I am in law enforcement and dealt with 911 domestic abuse and responded to domestic related homicides and seen a lot stuff. I strongly suggest you press charges and get an order of protection. In her mind she feels she can get away with this and usually criminals will repeat this act and later doing something fatal to you or someone else. SHE IS A CRIMINAL. Trust me. You don't need to be on an episode called "snapped". apart from everyone's story, It wasn't your heart that's on the line but your life. And in this SPECIFIC case your life is be valued first. No contact should be established, not only to heal, but to ensure you are safe to live another day in your case. To ensure a no repeat of this experience, you should just take it slow when dating other people and be alert of any signs of aggression in their personality. People tend to show red flags which we can easily ignore especially during honeymoon phase. But just know you wouldn't want someone who plays games with your head. She was immature to do have a man call you like that. You want someone who is confident, stable, and mature enough to express their concerns without using a knife or displaying psychotic behavior. She apparently needed professional help Thank you for this wise advice! This all happened several years ago, and I have not seen or heard from her since the night of the incident. At the time, everyone from the paramedics that transported me to the hospital, to the trauma surgeon, to the police detective, insisted that I press charges and follow the case through.
AIJ Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 And I thought my ex was crazy Mine hasn't gone as far as stabbing me yet. Just trying to force her new relationship down my throat. For example, following me on Twitter then immediately changing her picture to one of her and him in bed cuddled up. Blocked her on Twitter after that. She then snapchatted me a picture of her boyfriend. Similarly to you, any feelings I had left for her just turned to hatred. Annoys me a little bit because I'd rather feel nothing than hatred but it is what it is, give it a few months and I'll have forgotten about her. I feel like this could deeply affect my relationships in the future though. I thought this girl was an angel, could do no wrong. Trusted her with everything blablabla turns out she's a deceitful spiteful bitch. Will take me a while to be able to trust a female again! 1
Author I_Give_Up67 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 And I thought my ex was crazy Mine hasn't gone as far as stabbing me yet. Just trying to force her new relationship down my throat. For example, following me on Twitter then immediately changing her picture to one of her and him in bed cuddled up. Blocked her on Twitter after that. She then snapchatted me a picture of her boyfriend. Similarly to you, any feelings I had left for her just turned to hatred. Annoys me a little bit because I'd rather feel nothing than hatred but it is what it is, give it a few months and I'll have forgotten about her. I feel like this could deeply affect my relationships in the future though. I thought this girl was an angel, could do no wrong. Trusted her with everything blablabla turns out she's a deceitful spiteful bitch. Will take me a while to be able to trust a female again! AIJ, Thanks for sharing that. It has taken years to get over what my exGF did to me. I'd even said, I am done with relationships after that one. For several years afterwards, I only sought casual sex without any relationship attachment whatsoever. That got old really old fast because it was not really who I am. So I am just really cautious about the women I choose to date. In your case, please give it some time because it will get better. I can honestly say, I do not resent women because of what I went through. Please do let your exGF taunts prevent you from moving forward either. I now realize that if an ex reaches out to taunt you, they are obviously still thinking about you. How happy can they truly be if they have to resort to playing games like this???
ZiggyZoo Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 I did have one guy call my cell phone, my sister's phone, and my MOM'S phone nightly for about two weeks after we broke up. I broke it off, he liked to stay up until 4-5 AM drinking, and I didn't. I thought we parted on good terms, but I guess not. He would call and leave these long, rambly voice mail messages about God and revenge and things like that. When he called my mom's house, I called the police. It was actually funny, he worked at this private club, and used to brag all the time about how there were police officers who were members, and how he was basically untouchable because they were his friends. Well, turns out that one of those police officers went to high school with my dad and they played football together. They made a visit to their club and had my ex fired, and his membership was revoked. He was basically dragged by his ear to my mom's, my sister's, and my house to apologize. I haven't heard from him since. This didn't really affect any future relationships, I had actually forgotten it until just now. 1
Author I_Give_Up67 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 Thanks for sharing that Ziggy. He got the message loud and clear it seems! At the time of my exGF's arrest she had started and new job as an armed guard at a bank. The police took her into custody on her job, while still in uniform. Obviously that was her last day of employment also.
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