plugga Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 I've been dating this new girl (she is 35)..and after many bad first dates with wrong women I genuinely believe she really 'ticks all the boxes' so to speak! She has just came out of a marriage ~6 months ago. We aren't really 'taking it slow' as such but on the same token we aren't going wild being too serious I don't think. Anyway she has been away on a work trip for the last week and I have been wanting to send her some flowers, trying to time it for as soon as she gets back. I'm sure she will love them and not think its too serious/over the top at all. But my one reservation is that her mother is living with her right now and seems to be quite overprotective of her...obviously her mom will see the the flowers and know they came from me, I just don't want that to make this girl uncomfortable that I have done some public display of affection and her mum can then potentially use it as saying 'be really careful with this guy he is way too serious I dont want you hurt' type thing! I don't want this girl having to defend me to her mom or anything because of something I've done (sending flowers). Should I just do it anyway? There is always the chance the mother sees the flowers and thinks I am a nice guy too... I'm thinking only half a dozen roses, just a sweet message and little thing, nothing over the top. Right now my gut is saying go for it, it's been nearly a month and I really like her, and know she is really into me, so why not show a bit of romance?
GTR King Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 You should go for it... Flowers will make her smile
Treasa Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Go ahead and send flowers, but maybe an assortment rather than roses. But then, I was never big on roses anyway...
michellew Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Send flowers! If she's into you, she will love them! If she is not into you, it'll scare her off. If that's the case, you don't need her anyway. Better to learn now than later. 1
Author plugga Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 How long have you been dating? About at the 1 mth mark now...we are essentially exclusive (well, have talked about it a few times) and neither of us are focussing on dating others.
Gloria25 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 If her mum lives in "her" house and is so bold to "intercept" packages that come for her daughter, then you got bigger problems here than deciding to send her flowers... Why not pay xtra so that your girl is the only one that can sign for them? But then, you gotta time it so that it comes by the time your girl is at home/back in town. I had that issue with my mum and bro over a decade ago...the guy that left me for the town ho would call and they'd not let me know...eh, looking back they probably saw what a jerk he was and were doing me a solid... Anywho, mum knows her place now...I made it clear that she will not interfere with my dude(s)
SoftViolin Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 I would love such a gesture, and sure a lot of other women would. So second advice to go for it! 1
Diezel Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Buy flowers. Have them at your place. Bring her to your place. Give her flowers. Profit.
Gary S Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 About at the 1 mth mark now...we are essentially exclusive (well, have talked about it a few times) and neither of us are focussing on dating others. - I usually say, don't buy gifts or flowers for the first couple months, or until it's serious... might be a waste of money the relationship does not go, and it's not even special until you are really a couple. It sounds to me like this is serious, so the time is right.
Jame22 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) It's not okay to send flowers unless you're in a long term relationship. Don't do it. It communicates desperation and neediness. This isn't a romantic comedy. It's life. Be cautious. Don't send flowers, you shouldn't have to, just hang out with her and be yourself. xx And check out our blog https://thepantslessbear.wordpress.com/ Agreed. Don't do it! At best she'd be neutral to it. At worst she goes cold and never talks to you again or tries to friendzone you. Not worth it. Save flowers for marriage Edited April 17, 2015 by Jame22 2
Gary S Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Save flowers for marriage Um, if he waits that long, there probably won't be any marriage 1
Gloria25 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Flowers until marriage? Seriously? I mean, I don't think he should go all out and get expensive roses, but flowers are a nice gesture - especially if she's returning from a trip. My FWB used to bring me flowers and I've been on 1st dates where the guy brought me flowers... Geesh, is chivalry THAT dead?
SunnySide0418 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 I say do it! More men should be thoughtful like this! I love flowers!
Omei Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Love flowers from a man, anytime. (its never happened) Do it because you just want too for her dont do it in hopes its going to land you a relationship or think it will be a waste of money later. Just do it because your nice and every girl deserves flowers at least once. Cept them crazy bitches
Jame22 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) Flowers until marriage? Seriously? I mean, I don't think he should go all out and get expensive roses, but flowers are a nice gesture - especially if she's returning from a trip. My FWB used to bring me flowers and I've been on 1st dates where the guy brought me flowers... Geesh, is chivalry THAT dead? Flowers are lame and very 1950 ish and in my opinion give off a pretty creepy vibe. Yes, most woman will love to get flowers but it doesn't necessarily change their opinion of the guy for the better. Chivalry? as in the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code. Yeah it's dead. Edited April 17, 2015 by Jame22 1
Author plugga Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 Ok...I made the decision and decided to do it! If her mother receives them I am sure she won't throw them out or do anything silly...just would rather she get the surprise herself first hand I think it will be good..I normally would never send flowers so early but I just thought it was a good idea in this case, can't hurt to be keen and sweet to a girl I am really in to, right? 1
fred123 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Flowers until marriage? Seriously? I mean, I don't think he should go all out and get expensive roses, but flowers are a nice gesture - especially if she's returning from a trip. My FWB used to bring me flowers and I've been on 1st dates where the guy brought me flowers... Geesh, is chivalry THAT dead? Women have told me that they have been turned off if a guy brings a flower on a first date and its too much
michellew Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Women have told me that they have been turned off if a guy brings a flower on a first date and its too much This isn't their first date.
Jame22 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 This isn't their first date. Still, when it comes down to, it flowers send the message that you're trying to buy her affection. Save gifts for birthdays and holidays. I don't think i'll ever buy a girl flowers. It's way too cliche.
fred123 Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 This isn't their first date. It was in response to gloria
alphamale Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 I'm thinking only half a dozen roses, just a sweet message and little thing, nothing over the top. Right now my gut is saying go for it, it's been nearly a month and I really like her, and know she is really into me, so why not show a bit of romance? whoa whoa man, slow down. roses are a bit over the top and you never want to send less than a dozen. Don't send roses just a mixed arrangement with a very nice but neutral message. No roses man and a short simple message..
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