fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 When you're in a serious relationship, how many days per week do you like to spend with them assuming you're not living together? I'm independent and like my space. So even when things get serious, I don't feel the need to have to see a woman every single day. Starting out I keep it at 2x a week when things are new. Then as it gets more serious I gradually like increasing to 4x a week. I think 4x a week is great because you get to see each other regularly enough and have a full sex life, while still allowing each other the space to lead separate lives with friends, hobbies, family, etc.. Granted, the concept of daily sex is awesome. Still though, I think that space is healthy and keeps people excited and invested instead of getting burned out on each other.
Redhead14 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 When you're in a serious relationship, how many days per week do you like to spend with them assuming you're not living together? I'm independent and like my space. So I don't want or need to see a woman daily. I think that 4x a week is ideal. You get to see each other regularly enough and have a full sex life, while still allowing each other the space to lead separate lives with friends, hobbies, family, etc.. Granted, the concept of daily sex is awesome. Still though, I think that space is healthy and keeps people excited and invested instead of getting burned out on each other. Three to 4 times a week is perfect for me. Actually, 3 is just right. If you're together more than that, you may as well be living together. It also depends on what your long term goals are. In other words, if your long term goal is to be married, the period of living together might need to start by a year into a relationship. Gradually ramping up the frequency over time. If you're simply a committed couple without intentions of being married, then that's a perfect frequency in my book. You are still maintaining your individuality yet incorporating a significant other into your life in a balanced way. 1
BikerAccnt Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 That would be way too much for me. But then again, I'm older. For me no more than 3x a week unless a trip together is planned or something. I have many hobbies, interests, and late work nights, that would inhibit me from anything more. If I'm at the point where I want to be spending 4+nights a week with someone, I'm at the point where I'd be contemplating living with them. 1
smackie9 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Been together for 25 years and we both still have our alone time. I like gaming he doesn't so he finds something else to do like ride his Harley or work on his truck. 2
Author fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 Three to 4 times a week is perfect for me. Actually, 3 is just right. If you're together more than that, you may as well be living together. It also depends on what your long term goals are. In other words, if your long term goal is to be married, the period of living together might need to start by a year into a relationship. Gradually ramping up the frequency over time. If you're simply a committed couple without intentions of being married, then that's a perfect frequency in my book. You are still maintaining your individuality yet incorporating a significant other into your life in a balanced way. I was actually surprised to read this because you said that sex was on your list of things you can't live without. So as a woman with a seemingly high sex drive, 3x a week seems a bit low. But I am one of the biggest advocates for space in a relationship out there. So I definitely get it. Also, I'm willing to admit that my sex drive is over the top high. That's why I try to compromise and not be overly demanding on a woman's time. However, once I'm having sex regularly, only 2-3x a week isn't enough for me.
Diezel Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 The lady and I see each other 4-5 times a week. We are both very independent people but she travels a lot, so sometimes we'll see each other 10 out of 14 days and she's gone for the next 6. That and she works out in the morning and I work out at night, so it cuts down our time together. So even if it's 4-5 times, it's more like the added time of 2-3 days. Living together is inevitable at this point.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 The lady and I see each other 4-5 times a week. We are both very independent people but she travels a lot, so sometimes we'll see each other 10 out of 14 days and she's gone for the next 6. That and she works out in the morning and I work out at night, so it cuts down our time together. So even if it's 4-5 times, it's more like the added time of 2-3 days. Living together is inevitable at this point. I've been doing health/fitness for the last 18 years (started when I was 16). For the majority of that, I always worked out at night. It not only worked better with my schedule, but I honestly had better workouts later on in the day. But now in the last few years, I finally transitioned into working out earlier (usually sometime between 10:30am-2pm). Now I actually like it better because I have the rest of my day after wards and I'm not ramped up at night so I sleep better.
Vintage79 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 The frequency in my past relationships was a function of the scenario: 1. I dated a girl for multiple years, and was pretty happy spending the entire weekend with her (Friday night - Monday morning), and maybe seeing her one other night during the week (or not). She lived about 30-35 minutes away and her work schedule started a couple hours earlier than mine, which made weekdays a bit rough, although things seemed to work out when we were together. 2. The person that I've been dating for the past few months lives about a mile away and we see each other very often if we're not busy with other things - that could be 5+ times/week. We seem to text/message daily, right around he time we're getting home from work, and if neither of us is busy, we'll frequently get together. If one (or both) of us has something going on, great - we know we'll see each other soon. Given how often we see each other, we give each other space when they have other things in their schedule, or simply if they want it (there's never pressure to see each other - we just both want to) - which makes it pretty low stress and pleasant. As such, ideal frequency is situational, but I can say that I seem to be happier with scenario 2 than scenario 1. Other year+ relationships that I've had seem to have been about 4 times/week, or sometimes a bit more. I guess I'm a fan of contact, as long as they give me space when I want it or need it without complaining. 1
Redhead14 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 I was actually surprised to read this because you said that sex was on your list of things you can't live without. So as a woman with a seemingly high sex drive, 3x a week seems a bit low. But I am one of the biggest advocates for space in a relationship out there. So I definitely get it. Also, I'm willing to admit that my sex drive is over the top high. That's why I try to compromise and not be overly demanding on a woman's time. However, once I'm having sex regularly, only 2-3x a week isn't enough for me. Oh, I need sex, but I can go a day or so without it. And, we have gotten together more often in a particular week once in a while to accommodate that need Like I said, we see each other regularly at least 3 times per week. Sometimes more, sometimes less depending on our schedules. Not only that, I am pretty independent and can do things for myself once in a while . . . I say this too, when we do miss a day or so, it's a little more "intense" usually. Missing each other a little is a good thing. 1
Author fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 (edited) Oh, I need sex, but I can go a day or so without it. And, we have gotten together more often in a particular week once in a while to accommodate that need Like I said, we see each other regularly at least 3 times per week. Sometimes more, sometimes less depending on our schedules. Not only that, I am pretty independent and can do things for myself once in a while . . . I say this too, when we do miss a day or so, it's a little more "intense" usually. Missing each other a little is a good thing. :laugh::laugh: I BUSTED up laughing with you saying you're independent and can do things for yourself once and awhile. The only type of "infidelity" I encourage is when a woman uses her BOB. Also, now that you've included that it's an average of 3x per week where you sometimes see each other more to make up for it, that's cool. But always keeping it at 3x a week every single week, seemed a bit low. I'm actually dealing with a date frequency concern right now with my GF. Since we're still somewhat new, I've been cool keeping it at 2x a week. But as the relationship evolves you want to spend more time. So I brought up increasing to 3x a week which she seemed happy about originally. Then last night when we were talking about it more, she said that she's not sure if she can EVER give me more than 2x a week. So now I'm questioning long term compatibility. That's why I am going to talk to her more about it over the weekend and feel her out. On one hand, I get that you can't tell the future and you need to take it week by week. But I also know that sex 2x a week on a long term basis isn't enough for me. I mean I'd honestly be better off just being friends with her and being single. Edited April 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Redhead14 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 :laugh::laugh: I BUSTED up laughing with you saying you're independent and can do things for yourself once and awhile. The only type of "infidelity" I encourage is when a woman uses her BOB. Also, now that you've included that it's an average of 3x per week where you sometimes see each other more to make up for it, that's cool. But always keeping it at 3x a week every single week, seemed a bit low. I'm actually dealing with a date frequency concern right now with my GF. Since we're still somewhat new, I've been cool keeping it at 2x a week. But as the relationship evolves you want to spend more time. So I brought up increasing to 3x a week which she seemed happy about originally. Then last night when we were talking about it more, she said that she's not sure if she can EVER give me more than 2x a week. So now I'm questioning long term compatibility. That's why I am going to talk to her more about it over the weekend and feel her out. On one hand, I get that you can't tell the future and you need to take it week by week. But I also know that sex 2x a week isn't enough for me. I mean I'd honestly be better off just being friends with her and being single. Yeah, you need to make sure you two are on the same page for the long term. Libido matching is good to work out ahead of time if possible.
Redhead14 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Between football seasons (It's a joke!) I like football too, it's a win-win, especially at half-time.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 (edited) Yeah, you need to make sure you two are on the same page for the long term. Libido matching is good to work out ahead of time if possible. Exactly. On one hand, it's just not about sex. I think I've shown that to her by now. Not only did I agree to be exclusive before we had sex, but since we started having it, I've planned multiple public dates that ended in just a kiss goodnight. Also, we both agreed that we want the next time we have sex to be bareback. So I'm willing to wait a few more weeks while her birth control finalizes. But like I said, if you're rarely ever having sex in a long term relationship, you might as well just be friends. What I want to find out is what she means by 2x a week. If she meant that she can only commit to 2x a week for longer hours, but she's willing to pop by a few times a week for an hour or two, that's cool. After all, she lives less than ten minutes away from me, and not every time you get together has to be for hours and hours. However, if she's only willing to have sex on days that she can spend more time with me, then obviously our libidos don't match up. So hopefully she'll be able to elaborate more on Saturday when I talk to her. Edited April 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Redhead14 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Exactly. On one hand, it's just not about sex. I think I've shown that to her by now. Not only did I agree to be exclusive before we had sex, but since we started having it, I've planned multiple public dates that ended in just a kiss goodnight. Also, we both agreed that we want the next time we have sex to be bareback. So I'm willing to wait a few more weeks while her birth control finalizes. But like I said, if you're rarely ever having sex in a long term relationship, you might as well just be friends. What I want to find out is what she means by 2x a week. If she meant that she can only commit to 2x a week for longer hours, but she's willing to pop by a few times a week for an hour or two, that's cool. After all, she lives less than ten minutes away from me, and not every time you get together has to be for hours and hours. However, if she's only willing to have sex on days that she can spend more time with me, then obviously our libidos don't match up. So hopefully she'll be able to elaborate more on Saturday when I talk to her. but she's willing to pop by a few times a week for an hour or two, that's cool. After all, she lives less than ten minutes away from me, and not every time you get together has to be for hours and hours. -- Ooo, I'd be careful about how you say this. Suggesting she POP over for a quickie and out the door if you want a "real relationship" might not fly at this point. Once things are established and truly committed, you might be able to go there.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 (edited) but she's willing to pop by a few times a week for an hour or two, that's cool. After all, she lives less than ten minutes away from me, and not every time you get together has to be for hours and hours. -- Ooo, I'd be careful about how you say this. Suggesting she POP over for a quickie and out the door if you want a "real relationship" might not fly at this point. Once things are established and truly committed, you might be able to go there. That's the thing though. We are truly committed, and exclusive. She's my GF and I treat her as such. Like I said, I agreed to be exclusive before we had sex. Then since we started having it, I've planned multiple public dates where I picked her up, and then afterwards dropped her off at her place with just a kiss good night. Also, when she said she wanted to wait a bit to go on birth control to not effect her cycle, which puts the next time we have sex at the beginning of May, I was fine with it. So if it was only about sex for me, I wouldn't be doing everything I have been. However, once her birth control finalizes and sex starts to happen on a more regular occurrence, only having it 2x a week isn't enough for me. I'd rather just be friends and go back to being single. That's why I think it would be a good compromise for her to be OK with 1-2x a week of her popping by for an hour or two, and a few times a week of longer days and actual dates like we've been doing. Edited April 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Redhead14 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 That's the thing though. We are truly committed, and exclusive. She's my GF and I treat her as such. Like I said, I agreed to be exclusive before we had sex. Then since we started having it, I've planned multiple dates where I picked her up, and then afterwards dropped her off at her place with just a kiss good night. Also, when she said she wanted to wait a bit to go on birth control to not effect her cycle, which puts the next time we have sex at the beginning of May, I was fine with it. So if it was only about sex for me, I wouldn't be doing everything I have been. However, once her birth control finalizes and sex starts to happen on a more regular occurrence, only having it 2x a week isn't enough for me. I'd rather just be friends and go back to being single. That's why I think it would be a good compromise for her to be OK with 1-2x a week of her popping by for an hour or two, and a few times a week of longer days and actual dates like we've been doing. Yes, you have been demonstrating that it's not all about sex for you for sure. So, you're right, she may be OK with that.
smackie9 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Everyone has their own idea how much time they have, or want to spend with a GF/BF. there are factors to consider like the distance apart that you live, and how busy you are with your social circle, activities, work, etc that don't include your SO. It needs to be discussed, because some want to be more involved than others....comes down to expectations. If you both are not on the same page the relationship will just implode on itself.
No_Go Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Wow, I was asking myself the same question... How long have you been dating? We just started our second month together and right now, we see each other ~ 4x a week, but only 2 days indoors (Friday night and Saturday I stay in his place). I think it is ideal for me in terms of balance of independency and joined activities, but I'd also like to have more sex in long term... which is nearly impossible with our schedules, unless I do the 1-2 h "pops" to his place as you mentioned for your gf. You're lucky that you live so close by to each other... Saying that, when is a good time to DISCUSS moving in together (the actual moving will obviously depend on logistics as well)? I made a mistake to move in with someone that I barely knew before and payed a very high price for the lesson... but postponing the decision for too long could also be exhausting in terms of finding time for dates When you're in a serious relationship, how many days per week do you like to spend with them assuming you're not living together? I'm independent and like my space. So even when things get serious, I don't feel the need to have to see a woman every single day. Starting out I keep it at 2x a week when things are new. Then as it gets more serious I gradually like increasing to 4x a week. I think 4x a week is great because you get to see each other regularly enough and have a full sex life, while still allowing each other the space to lead separate lives with friends, hobbies, family, etc.. Granted, the concept of daily sex is awesome. Still though, I think that space is healthy and keeps people excited and invested instead of getting burned out on each other.
Phoe Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 2 or 3 times a week works. If it's a busy time 1x a week is good too.
Gary S Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Ooo, I'd be careful about how you say this. Suggesting she POP over for a quickie and out the door if you want a "real relationship" might not fly at this point. Once things are established and truly committed, you might be able to go there. - If you have a good relationship with romance and affection, there is nothing wrong with an occasional......... ..................wait for it........................... Booty-call! Gotta have a date night and a booty-call every week!
PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 When you're in a serious relationship, how many days per week do you like to spend with them assuming you're not living together? It depends on if you've started farting in front of each other yet. Been dating someone for six months and it's still only at 1-2 times a week. We don't fart in front of each other. This is an indicator the relationship is not progressing quickly.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 (edited) 2 or 3 times a week works. If it's a busy time 1x a week is good too. Just wanted to make sure you read that it pertains to a long term relationship and not casual dating. BTW - No judgement either way, but do you have kind of a low sex drive? Being OK with once a week in a relationship doesn't exactly scream "libido". So I'm genuinely curious if it's because your sex drive is low or if you're just extremely busy in general. It depends on if you've started farting in front of each other yet. Been dating someone for six months and it's still only at 1-2 times a week. We don't fart in front of each other. This is an indicator the relationship is not progressing quickly. Wow.. You're still @ 1-2x a week after 6 months? I'd say that's your indicator that it's not progressing quickly. However if people have normal libido's, I don't know how they could be OK with sex 1-2x a week. Edited April 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365 1
Gary S Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Some people in very healthy and happy relationships see each other as little as once a week... when they are up, miss each other a little, and have a whole weeks' worth of news to share. Obviously this on the outskirts of what is healthy though.
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