I feel bad for girls who werent gifted with appearance

[mefisto]

I just checked two social network profiles of two different girls. First has nothing on her profile except of her photos. She is beautiful and thats all she need to have success in society. You can say by her writing style that she is dumb bimbo with nothingness in her head. But it doesnt matter, despite the empty profile, she has thousands of followers, hundreds of friends, people write her compliments all day long, etc. She can get whatever she wants in life, because every man will sacrifice many things to get in her pants.

And there was second girl, who posts about her hobbies, travels, intellectual insights, humorous stuff, interesting videos. She isnt pretty and, guess what, she has 30 friends. I felt bad for her and sent her friends request.

I also saw on this network some interesting scam method - one nerd creates fake account with few photos of hot girl and starts posting some virus and scam URLs to steal some money from people. Anyone, who has some brain under the skull, will see that account is fake as hell. But no, those accounts have thousands of friends and followers, each fake photo has 20k+ likes, each virus URL has dozens of reposts.

I realized that majority of men is even more shallow than women. They talk about female personality, but the only thing that matters is sexual attractiveness. I feel bad for girls who werent gifted with appearance, ugly man can at least compensate themselves with money and personality, ugly girls cant do even that.

[No Limit]

Why not? I don't have the perfect appearance either due to a broken nose but I'm working my way up into one of the world's best paid jobs. That's enough compensation for me. You also shouldn't judge someone through their amount of friends. I deleted over 100 people from my list and am left with 87 people and still feels that's too much. I think I'll clean my list up a little the next few days, thanks for the reminder.

[mefisto]

You also shouldn't judge someone through their amount of friends.

I hate to say it - it really represents real life in most aspects. Maybe you are from older generation, but for youth it is true. Popular people in real life are popular on social network. I saw this correlation countless times.

[GoldieLox]

I'm not Ms. America, but guys do apparently consider me very attractive (I don't see it sometimes but whatever). I also hold an advanced degree in a somewhat uncommon field. I had a facebook for 6 months before I deleted it because social media annoys me. Guess how many friends I had? About 50. You cannot base anything on anyone's amount of friends, their level of smartness, or their level of attractiveness. The second girl in your example may have that amount of friends by choice. I certainly did. I didn't want everyone knowing my business, as I'm a very private person.

 

Just a penny for my thoughts... I'd rather be the ugliest b!tch in the world and have no friends and be a genius than be drop-dead gorgeous

[No Limit]

I hate to say it - it really represents real life in most aspects. Maybe you are from older generation, but for youth it is true. Popular people in real life are popular on social network. I saw this correlation countless times.

 

Not sure if 18 is that old. Then again, I always hated getting too much attention. I cherish my privacy and I'm not the insecure type that needs to photograph her breasts to feel better with herself. But no, it doesn't represent real life at all. All those smiley faces - pah, sure!

[gaius]

It's a mixed blessing. There was a guy who's house I used to hang out at after school and I found out later he was accused of diddling some of the other boys who'd stop by occasionally. But nothing bad ever happened to me.

 

You get a lot of attention whether you want it or not when you're really attractive, which can be a major bummer sometimes. For men and women.

[I_Give_Up67]

I can tell you that now that I'm in my late 40s', I do not see many unattractive women anymore. So yes, I'd say what you describe probably has a generational aspect to it. TBH it is nice being able to see past physical beauty and see the real person inside now.

[Diezel]

Maybe that "uggo" has 30 friends, but those 30 friends are worth 30,000.

 

Or maybe I'm just defensive because I have 50 Facebook friends, and actually could still cut about 20 of them. Quality over quantity.

[minimariah]

I hate to say it - it really represents real life in most aspects. Maybe you are from older generation, but for youth it is true. Popular people in real life are popular on social network. I saw this correlation countless times.

 

popular doesn't mean that the person has some actual friends. there is a HUGE difference. you can be popular & SUPER lonely - i thought that was common knowledge?

 

also - don't feel "sorry" for girls who aren't the most beautiful with perfect faces and perfect bodies. why do you pity them - are they missing a limb or something? do they have some form of cancer or incurable illness? do you even realize how incredibly obnoxious that sounds? not to mention how incredibly incorrect it is to think that girls who aren't stunning are somehow miserable & less successful?

 

one of the most powerful women in the world today is Angela Merkel. would you describe her as gorgeous, beautiful? she's less than average in looks, yet she has a partner who is super good-looking for years now + a whoooooooole lots of power!

 

celine dion was once told that she was "too ugly" to become popular & today? one of the most popular icons of our time. ADELE one of the most successful singers in this decade even thought people called her fat & obese!

 

long story short - it's not "youth" that thinks that way (the "beauty is only thing that matters and if you have that, you'll have everything" mentality). it's just YOU and folks you decide to surround yourself with, really.

 

the rest of us don't give a sh*t and you wouldn't believe - but the fact that i don't look like adriana lima was NEVER EVER something i cried about, got upset or threw a pity party. it didn't leave me single for life and it sure as hell didn't leave me less successful.

 

beauty IS an advantage, for sure but for you to say it's all it takes and that you pity the less beautiful girls because they... i guess, they can't possibly be happy or successful? i just... i don't... like, how? i'm struggling to figure out like... how do you get that idea and go "oh... i'm right" - like how does that make ANY sense to you?

Edited April 16, 2015 by minimariah

[Quiet Storm]

It's a mixed blessing. There was a guy who's house I used to hang out at after school and I found out later he was accused of diddling some of the other boys who'd stop by occasionally. But nothing bad ever happened to me.

 

You get a lot of attention whether you want it or not when you're really attractive, which can be a major bummer sometimes. For men and women.

 

 

That probably didn't have anything to do with your looks, gaius. Predators/ pedophiles pick the ones that are most likely to comply and keep it a secret. He probably just thought you'd put up a fight or tell on him.

[bebe23]

Mefisto, what point are you trying to make, then? Are you going to date or marry a girl like the one you friended on that social network and 'pity' so much?

[SearchingForMyself]

Mefiato, stop trying to white knight to gain women's approval.

 

It never works.

[autumnnight]

That ugly girl you mention will probably see the blessing in it one day.

 

I was always tall, taller than most guys wanted to date. I had great hair and a pretty full mouth, and a very cute figure. But my nose was kinda big and I didn't really fit the typical "Teen Magazine" beauty stereotype of the day. Not quite enough chin, and full cheeks even as a thin girl so no gorgeous cheekbones. I would say I fell into that average, almost pleasantly invisible, curve.

 

I hated it. I felt ugly because I had pretty much every weekend rerun memorized haha. I was also somewhat awkward, didn't have that "flirt appeal," and not much experience.

 

BUT I had some advantage over my friends who WERE exceptionally physically attractive. I knew if someone DID show interest in me, they were actually interested in ME and not having ego=boosting arm candy. I might not have dated as much, but I had less broken hearts overall. Being average was a great "shallow guy" weeding out tool.

 

Of course, I didn't see it that way when I was 17, but looking back, I think I had it better than the cover models. I never had to wonder about motive.

[pteromom]

. First has nothing on her profile except of her photos. She is beautiful and thats all she need to have success in society. You can say by her writing style that she is dumb bimbo with nothingness in her head. But it doesnt matter, despite the empty profile, she has thousands of followers, hundreds of friends, people write her compliments all day long, etc.

 

Shallow meaningless profile = shallow meaningless relationships. Sure, her looks can get her things in life, but that doesn't mean there is meaning and purpose and happiness to simply being physically attractive.

 

This woman may be as shallow as she seems. She may also be frustrated that all these followers only see her external beauty and not who she is as a person. She may be surrounded by people, yet feeling incredibly lonely and misunderstood. You never know.

 

And there was second girl, who posts about her hobbies, travels, intellectual insights, humorous stuff, interesting videos. She isnt pretty and, guess what, she has 30 friends. I felt bad for her and sent her friends request.

 

No need to feel bad for her. Her life sounds full. Happiness isn't just about approval from others. And if she has 30 friends who like and respect her, she is fortunate!

 

They talk about female personality, but the only thing that matters is sexual attractiveness.

 

You sell men short here. Yeah, if a guy is looking to get laid, the only thing that matters is how she looks. Why would her personality matter? And face it, there are a lot of guys looking to get laid.

 

But if a guy - a MATURE INTELLIGENT guy - is looking for a wife or LTR, he is smart enough to know that looks are great, but without substance, a relationship will be very shallow. You need that connection, and friendship, and humor to build a real relationship.

 

I feel bad for girls who werent gifted with appearance, ugly man can at least compensate themselves with money and personality, ugly girls cant do even that.

 

I don't think I am ugly, but you certainly would classify me as such. And there is no reason to feel badly. I have never had a problem attracting men, and I am a happy upbeat person who doesn't rely on relationships to make me whole.

[Frank2thepoint]

I realized that majority of men is even more shallow than women. They talk about female personality, but the only thing that matters is sexual attractiveness.

 

Insulting men...

 

I feel bad for girls who werent gifted with appearance, ugly man can at least compensate themselves with money and personality, bugly girls cant do even that.

 

...and insulting women. With the boldface, you are even denigrating women a lot more.

 

You need a hug, because your misanthropy is not healthy for anyone.

[Confused48]

Like many have said, it can be double edged sword. Not just for women either. It is especially so though for the super attractive women.

 

Even if they are born with natural intelligence as well, they grow up believing that much of their self worth is based on the way they look. They develop narcissist personality traits and a sense of entitlement. They become addicted to external validation.

 

All this can lead to some pretty bad outcomes for them even while they are still young. Then, inevitably, they age. They are unprepared for life as a less than highly physically attractive person.

 

You do the math. Not so lucky if you ask me.

[Revolver]

Being ugly sucks

[truncated]

I hate to say it - it really represents real life in most aspects. Maybe you are from older generation, but for youth it is true. Popular people in real life are popular on social network. I saw this correlation countless times.

 

 

um, you do realize that if the guys "like" the photo, that doesn't mean they like the person...they could meet her in real life, sleep with her once and the never talk to her again if she is, as you say, "a bimbo"

 

even if an attractive person does have a ton of" friends" are they real friends, or are they of the more fair weather variety?

 

I will say that people who are attractive do tend to be noticed first, but after that, once you actually talk to them, the glitter wears off pretty quickly

[truncated]

One more thing

 

A girl ( or guy) can be drop dead gorgeous with looks anyone could envy and still be desperately unhappy and terribly lonely

 

my daughter was like that. Gorgeous ( 5'10, blond hair down to her waist, huge blue eyes, a beautiful face) and was intelligent and talented enough to have had a series of books published while still in junior high

 

She was also incredibly depressed, lonely and terribly shy

 

My other daughter is gorgeous too, in her own way. She's not as tall, but has huge green eyes, perfect skin, a beautiful smile, and "rainbow hair" ( she gets labeled as "goth" and "emo" a because of it). She's incredibly intelligent, with grades high enough that she can get into medical school.

 

She's also really kind, caring and loving, but has few friends because she's shy and really takes her time getting to know people.

 

My point is that, if I were to assess them based on the criteria in your first post, they should have lots of friends, but that's not the case. My younger daughter has lots of facebook friends, but most of them are just the type who add everyone, whether they know them or not.

[lana-banana]

I feel bad for people who need social media to assess their happiness and self-worth.

[preraph]

And there was second girl, who posts about her hobbies, travels, intellectual insights, humorous stuff, interesting videos. She isnt pretty and, guess what, she has 30 friends. I felt bad for her and sent her friends request.

 

Yeah, but they're 30 REAL friends, not just hundreds of guys wanting her only for sex or other women wanting to be part of the train she's pulling.

 

Some guys care more about personality later in life, and some popular guys who have as much woman experience as they'll ever need start valuing personality even earlier because they get burnt out on just sex with hot girls. And of course, just because you're hot doesn't mean you're empty inside, but I'm sure it is very frustrating to them to mainly be valued for their bodies instead of their other facets.

[shvrk]

I feel bad for people who need social media to assess their happiness and self-worth.

 

I thought about this when I read the OP post. It aggravates me how often put their value on how many likes they have on Instagram or Facebook. I used to be the same way, but I deleted everything on the new year and I feel much better and realize how pointless it is to stress over what hundreds of people that you don't know you (acquaintances don't really know you now, do they?) think about your looks. Bad for the self esteem too.

 

Being 20, I have many friends where the prime focus is having tons of likes on photos. We would hang out and they would be on instagram mindlessly, refreshing the page... Hello... We are hanging out...

[Bohonia]

The first thing people see is your physical appearance, hence the woman's profile you described as being flooded with followers based simply on her "looks" the other woman you talk about has more overall hobbies, can hold a conversation and yet you don't feel her "looks" will give her the same attention and based on what you said you agree and felt bad so you sent her a request. Sex sells hence, fantasy sells guys drooling all over some woman who they could never in the real world date. I heard a saying some time ago that nothing ages worse than a pretty woman's ego...

[preraph]

I disagree that being a White Knight won't ever work. I fell in love with someone pretty White Knightish. My only problem was I didn't need saving bad enough to fulfill his need to be White Knightish, but I enjoyed the accoutrements and symbolic gestures immensely.

 

What you don't want to be is a doormat who does all the trying and giving with someone who isn't trying and giving back.

[PrettyEmily77]

Social media isn't the best way to assess someone's level of attractiveness.

 

 

That said, I've only been on this forum a few weeks but I have noticed some sort of snobbish bias against physical appearance. Everyone knows it's not the only thing to value in a person, everyone knows being good looking doesn't mean you're automatically a better person but reading the responses on here, no-one has considered the possibility that maybe person 1 is popular because she has the looks and the personality and no particular hang ups.

 

 

I have one extremely physically attractive colleague, possibly also the nicest person there, genuinely caring and kind to everyone; she's very popular with men and women alike, she seems aware of it but she doesn't seem to take it too seriously, she's been with her partner since high school (both in their late 30s now). So it is possible to have it all, men and women alike.