totenkopf Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Hi all after six months and several posts on here just thought I would make another. So for all who haven't read my story I will give a brief description we were together for ten months she said she had wanted me for years as I did her. She had a five yr old son who she involved me with to the point where I became as involved as her. We planned marriage and to move in together when one night she left. Two months later she was with some bouncer at her work who just so happens to be pretty much everything she claimed to dislike such as shooting animals and other things. He is literally the description of all she said she hated. After six weeks they got engaged and were kind enough to send me a picture of the tacky ring which surprised me as she always said she did not wear jewelry. She also said through him that she never loved me and basically said everything was all a lie. So thats the overview. After six months this is how I feel. I just got back from a holiday to Tunisia with family my aunt, sister and mother it was great and although I have still not been intimate with anyone since my break up I really feel that I am ready to enter into a relationship again and it really showed me how many beautiful people there are out there. I had a dream last night not about her but about kissing a lady that was not her lol. I won't lie I still hurt inside but I think I am hurting because I have been hurt and abused and manipulated by a disgusting excuse for a woman but if anything I hope it has made me stronger and wiser and thank god I have seen what a low life creature she is.
Fufu Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 It does take time to heal and recovery is not an overnight thingy. I'm glad you are able to manage this and see the light at the end of the tunnel, you will get there..
Author totenkopf Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 It does take time to heal and recovery is not an overnight thingy. I'm glad you are able to manage this and see the light at the end of the tunnel, you will get there.. Thanks Fufu It has been the worst experience in my life so far I must admit and it is very scary that someone who you shared such a relationship with could lie to you the whole time. The only thing I worry about now is that I may become too wary or too guarded in my next relationship.
Fufu Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Being wary or too guarded isn't exactly a bad thing. Sometimes from unpleasant experiences, we learned how to read a person and see if this person is worth the time and effort to invest in. Take your time, spend some quality time on yourself. When the time comes, you will meet someone new
Author totenkopf Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 Being wary or too guarded isn't exactly a bad thing. Sometimes from unpleasant experiences, we learned how to read a person and see if this person is worth the time and effort to invest in. Take your time, spend some quality time on yourself. When the time comes, you will meet someone new I really hope I don't have to be too guarded in my next relationship but I know I was dealing with a very deceptive and manipulative person which I have never experienced before and I am pretty sure that I will not come across such a person again.
Cinnamonstix Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 (edited) If you take the time to heal and work through things, you will drop your guard. I can vouch for this through my own experience. My ex before last of 3 years lied to me over and over throughout our RS, usually regarding other women. It eroded my self-esteem and who I was the more that I put up with it. After it ended, I found out even more (unprompted) about what he did during our RS and immediately after. He was even worse than I thought. Although I never wanted to be with him again and saw that he was really bad for me, it took me 10 mos to get over the everything that happened in the RS, as it had turned into a complete mess by the end due to the trust issues. I just knew when I was ready to get back out there. I was a bit guarded at first with the next guy I really liked, but we really took the time to get to know each other, and I came to fully trust him. I had very high standards for honesty at that point though, and I am a very honest and upfront person myself. Just take it slowly with the next person before giving yourself fully. Hold them to the same standards you hold for yourself. Even though my last RS ended, it was still a healing RS for me and showed me what is possible to have with someone. Edited April 16, 2015 by Cinnamonstix
Author totenkopf Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 If you take the time to heal and work through things, you will drop your guard. I can vouch for this through my own experience. My ex before last of 3 years lied to me over and over throughout our RS, usually regarding other women. It eroded my self-esteem and who I was the more that I put up with it. After it ended, I found out even more (unprompted) about what he did during our RS and immediately after. He was even worse than I thought. Although I never wanted to be with him again and saw that he was really bad for me, it took me 10 mos to get over the everything that happened in the RS, as it had turned into a complete mess by the end due to the trust issues. I just knew when I was ready to get back out there. I was a bit guarded at first with the next guy I really liked, but we really took the time to get to know each other, and I came to fully trust him. I had very high standards for honesty at that point though, and I am a very honest and upfront person myself. Just take it slowly with the next person before giving yourself fully. Hold them to the same standards you hold for yourself. Even though my last RS ended, it was still a healing RS for me and showed me what is possible to have with someone. Thank you Cinamonstix I plan on taking things very slowly in my next relationship I think that my previous one moved way too fast allowing me to be blinded by words rather than actions and also the fact I had known her for many years and just thought that if someone trusted you with their childs care that they were genuine. The fact that someone could involve their child as much as she did really does make it a damn sight easier to accept her for the lowlife she is.
mightycpa Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 although I have still not been intimate with anyone since my break up I really feel that I am ready to enter into a relationship againThese words jump out at me. You should really concentrate a lot more on finding women to date that you actually like and who like you, and forget this relationship stuff for a while. If you concentrate on the former, you'll get the latter. If you pursue the latter, I get the feeling you'll be back here again.
Author totenkopf Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 These words jump out at me. You should really concentrate a lot more on finding women to date that you actually like and who like you, and forget this relationship stuff for a while. If you concentrate on the former, you'll get the latter. If you pursue the latter, I get the feeling you'll be back here again. Thank you mightycpa I fully agree. I must admit although I had very much in common with my ex girlfriend I did not like a lot of things about her. Yes I was physically attracted to her and parts of her personality her past always bothered me and although people say not to judge people on their past it does define a person if they have a pattern of certain behaviour. For example she abandoned her child for days before Christmas and so many other things which were immoral in my opinion.I ignored so many things as I truly believed that she loved me like no other. All I know is that she has shown me her true colours and although it makes no difference to my future I find comfort in my belief that she will continue such an existence.
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