ToOldForThis Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I spent 3.5 years with a very similar woman. I suggest you read about Borderline personality disorder. She sounds like a classic case. They leave you with your head spinning because they never take responsibility for any of their actions along with their double standards and projections. My ex did the same phone checking crap to etc. I never cheated on her or even looked at another woman. One night I up late on her iPad and a text comes through from some guy. I confront her on it the next day, and she goes ballistic on me and locks her phone after that, W.T.F? Is that how you build trust. She denied the entire thing and said he was just a creeper flirting with her. Funny he still had her number. I kept saying "creeper or not, how did he get your number in the first place?" The movie situation you had, happened to me EXACTLY as you wrote. Also, I was dating someone when we first met which is fine since we were both single at the time. She finds out and acts as if we were in love and in a committed relationship by the second date. We had not even had sex yet, but she says i cheated on her. Same situation as you, she brings this up and uses it as ammunition for the next 3 years. Every fight she says " you cheated on me " How can I trust you. Borderlines are master I mean master manipulators and will leave you confused and seconding guessing your own moral compass. Google in a relationship with a borderline and I think you will find some relief. In the end, I still miss my ex like crazy. She was toxic but also the most dynamic woman I have ever been with. So I too am healing from being blindsided but also fighting my intellect vs my heart. My brain knows I never want to be with such a destructive dishonest person ever again but the part that misses her will not list to me. I have spoken to her once in 3 months and she screamed at me for breaking her heart. I may post that story soon. Good luck to you and your healing.
Author towch Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 I taught i would update you guys. Like many of us, i broke and answered her call 2 fridays ago i believe. we talked and she told me how she was having separation anxiety and how she now realizes that she needs me her life. that some days she wants to be with me but then shes herself what she has done to change herself and all that BS (you can be with me and work on yourself). Anyways we talk through the day which was nice. Next day she calls me saying that one of her friends told her that i added her on instagram. I explained to her that yes i did and that was when i couldn't reach her and needed to for my then T-mobile account. I told her i could send her the messages if she wanted or she could ask then what i said. she said they didn't read the message (rude). But like always she blow off and disregards whatever you tell her and keeps nagging on the issue but still asking the same question "why". She says its invasion of her privacy and weird (coming from someone who checks my call and text logs, emails). She goes on as to how she is so pissed off (really?? you can get mad at me contacting your friends but i cant get mad at you cheating on me for 8 months...really!!??). She proceeds to state that she will block me (She never answers the phone anyways lol) and that i should just see other people. Then she says she has to go back to work. I did apologising for adding and contacting them even though i had honest reasons. You see what she is doing here? She is trying to find a reason to hate me so she can justify her leaving and cheating. "he was weird and a creep so it was ok to dod the things i did". She calls me later that day, she is a little calm now but she angry at the issue. I don't say much, she was just taking a break. convo was short and she goes back to work. That is the last i hear from her. 2 saturdays ago. I can say after that event i stopped feeling the urge to check my phone for calls from her. I don't feel the urge to call her anymore. I don't check on her on social media anymore. I still do think of her from time to time I think was is truly holding me back is hope, I believe i still harbor immense hope that she will be back and i want it gone. If i knew for a fact that she has a boyfriend, i feel i will be finally over this hope i have. Its been a week plus now and this time i feel powerful enough to ignore her if she call however this is the longest we have gone without her calling lol. I am beginning to realize that it is not her as a person i miss but rather the things we shared together and the fear that i can never share that with some else. But i know that that is untrue, i just have too find the right one and i will have all that and better. I will keep trying, keep my head up 1
elaine567 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 If you haven't seen this before. Watch - - He has many good videos about break ups.
Chi townD Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Have you switched Phone carriers? I thought I read that you were doing that on the 1st.
Author towch Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 If she work at T mobile, then I would talk to other carriers about switching if she has access to your call logs. I have already transferred my number
Author towch Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 If you haven't seen this before. Watch - - He has many good videos about break ups. I actually watched a boat load of his videos yesterday. 1
Author towch Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Well as it always is with her, she has impeccable timing. She just called me now. I am guessing for her weekly battery recharging. I was making an office, i work IT you know how it is. I will proceed to watch that youtube video again to remind myself why i should ignore her ass.
Author towch Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) Ok so she left a voicemail. Her words: "Hey this is nicole, i see that you cancelled the T Mobile account and they say there is a payment of 35 dollars pending. I was seeing if you can pay the money thank you." She kinda sounded rude. what did she expect? that i keep paying 85 dollars or keep calling her to put the discount? So she can still keep creeping on my logs? I payed 85 dollars for 2 months in a row because she didn't put the discount so its not like she was trying to do that. I was probably trying to look into my logs and saw she couldn't access it anymore. I will pay it alright. but not through her. Worst case i will go to her house and slip the money under her door. Edited May 11, 2015 by towch
Chi townD Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Ok so she left a voicemail. Her words: "Hey this is nicole, i see that you cancelled the T Mobile account and they say there is a payment of 35 dollars pending. I was seeing if you can pay the money thank you." She kinda sounded rude. what did she expect? that i keep paying 85 dollars or keep calling her to put the discount? So she can still keep creeping on my logs? I payed 85 dollars for 2 months in a row because she didn't put the discount so its not like she was trying to do that. I was probably trying to look into my logs and saw she couldn't access it anymore. I will pay it alright. but not through her. Worst case i will go to her house and slip the money under her door. Dude, you can run to ANY T-Mobile store an pay it off. Don't interact with her.
Author towch Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) Dude, you can run to ANY T-Mobile store an pay it off. Don't interact with her. I am speaking with Customer service now. The only problem is its under her name, i am looking for the text she sent me with her social. But rest assured i will not be making any contact with her. I think she has ulterior motives, its just 35 freaking dollars. I will not give her the satisfaction of a reply Edited May 11, 2015 by towch
Simon Phoenix Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 It might be better for you to get a new number. Yes, you changed the provider so she can't snoop, but she can (and has been) bombing your phone. And just paypal her 35 bucks and get it over with. No more caving.
Author towch Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) It might be better for you to get a new number. Yes, you changed the provider so she can't snoop, but she can (and has been) bombing your phone. And just paypal her 35 bucks and get it over with. No more caving. I will look into changing my number, i just changed it recently. I slipped the money under her door. Problem solved. At least i don't get to be called a user and cheap person. She doesn't get to use this as ammunition. Edited May 12, 2015 by towch 1
Author towch Posted May 12, 2015 Author Posted May 12, 2015 hmmm....this one is a curious situation I have seen guys come and go in her life. Her Ex before which she did the same thing to him as she did me (started seeing someone else and cut him off. i always lived by the saying "don't judge people by their past", i am rethinking that phrase). She always tried to downplay the relationship & sex telling me that it wasn't a real relationship and that they never really had sex. I told her not to give me that BS and it was disrespectful (she always wanted to compete like she felt jealous that she was my first). She always kept in contact with but not in a romantic way but i think it was all about the attention. Guys that kept hitting on her, she never blocked or ignored him most times she will just brush it off that she had a boyfriend (at least that's what she used to tell me). The guy that she moved to another state for to school (where i met her) abandoned her after some time she became internet friendly with him again. Guys who she had cut off because they kept coming on hard later became friends again with her. So the question is why is my case different. Not that i want to be like does guys, i have as much self respect not to want that. I think of this sometimes, its a curious time to me.
Simon Phoenix Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 No offense, but I have no idea what you are trying to say.
Author towch Posted May 12, 2015 Author Posted May 12, 2015 No offense, but I have no idea what you are trying to say. long story short. why did she give other guys in her life time of day even when they were harassing her be it her Ex or some new guy. but in my case she ignores me like the plague.
Esraem Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Look up Borderline Personality Disorder. Sounds like it would help you make sense of it. Also know what to look out for so you dont get stuck with the next girl. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 long story short. why did she give other guys in her life time of day even when they were harassing her be it her Ex or some new guy. but in my case she ignores me like the plague. Why does it matter? How does it change the current situation? People do things for different reasons. If you did know then answer, then what? Instead of trying to figure out what's in her head, figure out why you feel the need to solve the riddle of another person in lieu of getting your stuff figured out. 1
Author towch Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 So apparently she blocked me on Facebook. The thing is, we weren't even friends and i could see anything except her profile pics. Curious..her birthday is this coming monday (18th). Do i wish her a happy birthday or stay NC?
minime13 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 So apparently she blocked me on Facebook. The thing is, we weren't even friends and i could see anything except her profile pics. Curious..her birthday is this coming monday (18th). Do i wish her a happy birthday or stay NC? NC! She's mad because you're not paying attention to her and making her feel wanted, like her exes. That's why she's being different. Stay with NC. She sounds like a horrible mess, and I'm not even sure why you wanted her back in the first place.
Simon Phoenix Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 So apparently she blocked me on Facebook. The thing is, we weren't even friends and i could see anything except her profile pics. Curious..her birthday is this coming monday (18th). Do i wish her a happy birthday or stay NC? There's no way this is a serious question.
Author towch Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 There's no way this is a serious question. lol say something Simon, say it
Latino4Lyfe Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 So apparently she blocked me on Facebook. The thing is, we weren't even friends and i could see anything except her profile pics. Curious..her birthday is this coming monday (18th). Do i wish her a happy birthday or stay NC? Wow, my ex's birthday is today and I've stayed with my NC and have no intention on breaking lol. Honestly, you really will not gain anything from it if you break for that. Believe me, I know lol. Keep up the NC, plus if she's getting mad that your not paying attention to her then that is ultimately a good thing. But regardless, don't break.
sober and dry Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 So apparently she blocked me on Facebook. The thing is, we weren't even friends and i could see anything except her profile pics. Curious..her birthday is this coming monday (18th). Do i wish her a happy birthday or stay NC? After all she blocked you and you still are wondering if you can wish her happy b-day?... Please let her be...
Simon Phoenix Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 lol say something Simon, say it It's a dumb question. Of course you don't say anything. I mean, a quick search of this site has hundreds of threads outlining the complete dumbassery of contacting an ex to wish them a happy birthday. She blocked you and you are going to wish this? Are you going to chop off your balls and present them to her as well?
Recommended Posts