A year later or so.

[Xoxoxo9999]

This is my first post here, I've been reading and searching like all of us for answers that are not within grasp but I need to vent a little. A year ago (March) I broke up with my girlfriend out of the blue, from a minor fight, I didn't even know why I did this, we were in between for like 2weeks pretty toxic, at the end of the 2nd week a guy friend told me that my gf kissed some dude at a party exactly 1day before we broke up (heh some coincidence). Even now I didn't know if it was true or not, but after that guy told me I confronted her and she said that she didn't do it, later I got drunk in a pub and I stumbled across this guy, I asked him and he said that it was just a kiss, it was all just a mess... Anyway when she found out that I've been asking him, She got so mad and told me : You're making me problems and it's enough, she shutdown me like I was nothing.

2 days later she kissed him at a party and I asked her why, her response was like : we are not together anymore, I couldn't reason with her and I got so mad that I kissed her bestfriend and she sucked me the 2nd date LOL. Needless to say, I kissed with like 10-20girls in a month(I'm a goodlooking guy, model) and it's pretty easy for me. I tried to reconcile with her after 2-3weeks and but she wasn't have it, she was like : I hate that I still love you. We we're still going out and talking but it was weird as ****, she couldn't even kiss me, I got mad and proceded NC, after 1month I saw her in the city, she said Hi!, I didn't even respond, after 3-4days I reached out and we started talking again. We started going out again, holding hands and she gave me a kiss at the end of the first date erm, fast forward to september... I decided that I need to tell her about the bestfriend and the oral(big mistake), she took it all good (apparently) and then I asked her 1week later : what are we? (we've been dating but not together), when i think about it now... such a bad timing to ask this when i told her about her bestfriend JESUS I was so stupid. She said that she'll give me an answer in 1week, 1week passed and she told me : i waited to see if you would do something(i had exams in that whole week) again bad timing. She ended with : I love you but i'm not ready for compromises, i was like : here we go again with these cryptic feelings and messages. She started a rebound with some guy, we've had like 3-4 contacts during september-december, I let them be, focused on me more. At the end of December I felt very stable and I decided to reach one last time before I'll give up on her, think about timing again : I reached out to her and she broke up with her bf 2days before, I thought ha : perfect timing, I was so wrong. 3 days after we began talking she got into another relationship with some guy, she even put it on fb(I knew that this guy was for real) but it didn't hurt now, needless to say i was over it, i just wanted her not need her. We've talked for 3-4weeks(fights and questions unanswered), she would told me things like : I still have feelings for you but I can't sacrifice my present happiness for you, you've hurted me so much, I was depressive, you would make me feel so bad, cry everytime. 24 january I told her that I respect her wishes and that I will not try again, that I'll let her be. She was like : I didn't say that I will not try, but not now, I still have resentments towards you, You'll hear from me again and maybe I'll say that I missed you. I was like wtf man...what does this mean?!

I told her to block me and when she decides to unblock me, I'll know that she wants to try again, she agreed. That was the last contact with her.

Fast forward to this day, she is still with that guy and I've been focusing on myself, dating a lot, hanging out with friends so often that I didn't even had time to stay home, I've been with a girl for a month and I ended it yesterday because she isn't what I look for in a girl...maybe it was the newness that attracted me.

I have some bullet points for those who are dealing with break-ups :

1. Stick to NC, even if it hurts, you'll make a fool of yourself, beg, try to reason(omg, don't even try it), you are not in the right mindset, you need to be happy by yourself and even then I would not advise to reach out once you've tried to reconcile and It didn't work.

2. Don't try to understand the ex, she/he would not have your answers, they've got their problems with YOU, they alone must resolve this, it's not your job to fix them.

3. Accept that it's over, I strugged for so many months to accept it, I always thought it was more.

4. Don't be afraid of meeting new people, especially if they reject you, I got rejected couple of times and that didn't put me down, I'm always looking for somebody new.

5. The first real break-up is the hardest, this was mine and I didn't have a clue back then but now I'm prepared for what's to come, I see it at a blessing, experience.

I admit that I was the "big bad wolf" here, anyway I tried but she punished me everytime even though she loved me, RESENTMENT IS A POWERFUL THING. I don't miss my ex as a person, only psychically and if she would contact me I would give it a shot as ****buddies but nothing more, my question is : How do I find that one girl, I mean i don't have trouble meeting girls(not at all) but I need to meet someone who would knock me up. I can answer any question about NC/rebounds/mixed feelings anything and I accept any critics.

 

 

edit1 : I would post here if she would contact me in the future.

Edited April 16, 2015 by Xoxoxo9999

[Mrlonelyone]

my question is : How do I find that one girl, I mean i don't have trouble meeting girls(not at all) but I need to meet someone who would knock me up. I can answer any question about NC/rebounds/mixed feelings anything and I accept any critics.

 

 

edit1 : I would post here if she would contact me in the future.

 

In other words you are tired of random women and want a special woman you can have a serious mature relationship with and possibly children?

 

Well, that is the million dollar question. No one here has a problem finding people they could have messy sloppy sex with. I am not a model I am a college prof and if I had no ethics could probably have sex with lots of my students. They proposition me. However that would not lead to a happy life.

 

 

We all want the answer to that question. Your ex probably isn't it for you from the sound of things...but who knows stranger things happen in love.

 

Take heart whoever the woman is for you who will be that long term "love of your life" mother of your children woman is walking the Earth. She's in a relationship right now that's not so hot, or out making her own mistakes and choices and having adventures. She's out there, and as time marches she moves towards you. Have faith in that and live your life.