redwing7 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Hello everyone. I'm heading to Thailand in three weeks to volunteer teaching English and will be gone for four months! It's something I've always wanted to do my whole life and am finally able to go! Everything was going great.. But there arose a problem. I met this girl.. She moved a few houses down from me a week ago. In that time we'e developed feelings for each other, gone on dates, kissed, touched, etc. I'm the kind of person who once I'm set on something, there's no changing my mind. So I would never let a girl get in the way of my dreams. So I'm going to Thailand regardless of her wanting me to stay. The problem is, she's different. I've known many girls and had plenty of things with them, but there's just something about this one. Something I can't ignore. She's someone I want to be with. It was almost like the moment we first looked into each other's eyes sparks flew and time stood still. I've never experienced this before. I want to make our relationship official but I'm not sure if that's the best way to go with me leaving here soon. What should I do? We're both 18 by the way.
Satu Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 You can't expect somebody you've just met to wait for you while you go away for four months. In my opinion, it's too much to ask. 1
Author redwing7 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 You can't expect somebody you've just met to wait for you while you go away for four months. In my opinion, it's too much to ask. We'd have known each other for one month. I know it's not that long, but you still think so?
Satu Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 We'd have known each other for one month. I know it's not that long, but you still think so? Yes I do, but I think you should go and hope for the best.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 It might be different if she was a full grown woman, was settled in life with her career, etc.. But you're both only 18. It isn't realistic or fair to ask an 18 year old girl that you barely know to sit around waiting for you. 1
Rewan Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 I'd say that at the most you should be good friends.. And I think this because, as Satu suggested, it's quite a lot to ask for from someone you've known a short time. The age aside, long distance relationships can be quite difficult regardless of how long you've both known one another. With having known one another a short time, to me, that gets multiplied by two.. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have contact to her; it may be nice for you to have a good friend to talk to via social media, email, letters, etc. That's social interaction to remind you of home while you're away, and perhaps if she happens to be single when you come back, it could lay the groundwork for a nice start to a relationship. But I say that lightly because I don't want you to go through with this thinking that it'll automatically work out that way... :S I just feel that..if it were me, I'd want to respect that person's life. You're going to have a huge adventure and meet many new people. And a lot can happen in four months for her, as well. By asking her to commit to something like this, though, you're asking her to put whatever may be for her on hold. I know that's not your intent, but it is what usually ends up happening, sadly. I'm sorry because I know this sounds really harsh, but it's something to consider. Best of luck 1
Buddhist Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Tell her you like her and if she's still living 3 doors down and single when you get back, you two should go steady. But who's to say that you won't end up in Thailand with a Thai gf, who's also....OMG different! In fact, I can almost guarantee that's exactly what will happen. 1
CarrieT Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 At 18 years of age, I can 100% guarantee that both of you will have lots of dates - and relationships - with many other people. Don't get hung up on this one; there WILL be more. 1
Toodaloo Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Your young. Go and enjoy. Four months is hardly anything. I wouldn't ask her to wait but perhaps keep in touch while you are gone and see how things pan out. 1
Gary S Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 You can't just leave your lover. What are people thinking? Love is somewhat fragile, the heart might not stand for it. You are leaving her. You might not have a girlfriend when you get back. 1
CarrieT Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 You can't just leave your lover. What are people thinking? Love is somewhat fragile, the heart might not stand for it. You are leaving her. You might not have a girlfriend when you get back. At 18, the heart will handle it, survive, and love again. Easily. 1
Author redwing7 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Posted April 17, 2015 Thank you to everyone who have given their thoughts and insights into what they think I should do. Since then, we've officially taken things further by getting into a relationship. I've decided that I'm going to make the best of the time I still have with her before I head off to Thailand. In that time frame I'll look to be building memories and developing feelings that last a lifetime. So when I do come back, we can rekindle everything we had and make new memories and feelings once again. I'll still write and email her while I'm away. I care about her happiness most of all and know that going on dates with other guys will probably be part of it. I just don't want to miss out on my chance of calling her mine to some other guy while I'm away.
Dork Vader Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Go on the trip, it's a life time experience. If things are meant to be between the two of you then it will work out in the end. I've skipped on life time things over women. I've regretted it every single time. Just go and maintain contact with her while you're gone.
Wisecrack Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Don't hold yourself for a girl. Trust me, I've watched this scenario play out with a mate. There will always be girls. Heck there will girls that will drive you crazier than this one. What you should do knowing your mind is set. Split ties with her. If you don't she WILL make your 4 months away hell as you miss her and ironically (as happened to my mate), she may decide to shut shop and leave when you get back. Nothing in life stays the same except time. Cutting ties now and leaving on good terms means that when you do come back , you can start where you left off rather than the 4 months of emotional turmoil you may feel. Heck, maybe you'll meet a thailandese princess that blows your socks off! (Just make sure she doesn't have an adam's apple under that neck of 'hers').
plugga Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Playing devils advocate here, but what about consideration of cancelling the trip and going some other time? Push it back a year and if you are still together with this chick you can do the long distance thing then?
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