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Posted

I am working on becoming a better person, and having a healthy long term relationship. I found out that ego doesn't just pertain to arrogant people and can hinder the development of healthy relationships.

 

 

I have read some of Sigmund Feud's theory on Ego's. I have read about egoism. Basically I found that an ego is a false sense of true self. It seems that ego reprograms true self, as some kind of defense mechanism. This causing a person to believe that ego is their true self. When I fact ego is just an illusion. This apparently causes huge blocks in a successful relationship.

 

 

I have also read that Altruism is ego's opposite. I want to recognize and undo any false thoughts of who I am, so that I can have a better relationship with a women. Desiring to eventually get married.

 

 

I am also trying to wrap my head around the subject of Anatta (not self or no self). If anybody has any insight on this subject that would be awesome.

 

 

My hopes in this post, is that I may get ideas from somebody in knowing how to identify the difference between false self and true self. Articles I have read so far made things more perplexing. I think this will help me become less negative, have a high sense of self worth, help me to find more joy in life, and to truly know without a doubt that I am being honest with my actions, words, and intentions. All these things that I may have a better chance in getting into a long term, happy, successful, stable relationship. Hopefully understanding this will help me also with developing strong healthy boundaries. So please if you have any opinions, ideas, articles to read, or anything else that you feel will be helpful let me know.

 

 

Going out on a limb posting this subject in general relationships.

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Posted

I'd contact Satu, he's good on this stuff.

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Posted
I'd contact Satu, he's good on this stuff.

 

 

 

Ok great! How do I contact Satu?

Posted

Ego is a word with many meanings, depending on context and who's theory you're talking about.

 

Freud's concept of Ego is as one of the three components of personality... Id, Ego, and Superego. The id motivates us to get our needs met and is characterized as self-serving, animalistic. The superego compels us to obey societal learning, morals, conscience, etc., and is often in conflict with the id. The ego moderates between the two and helps us figure out how to get our needs met in a way that is socially acceptable...

 

The concept of true self vs. false self, with ego representing the false self is associated with D. W. Winnicott.

 

If you haven't read Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" I'd recommend it for you. It's not so clinical as the psychology theories and is quite helpful in revealing new perspectives and adjusting attitudes.

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Posted

I highly recommend Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson, if you have an interest in different states of being and developing consciousness. His writing style is dry, sarcastic, and HILARIOUS, and the book is a serious mashup of Freud, Darwin, and Leary, in terms of personal development.

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Posted
Ego is a word with many meanings, depending on context and who's theory you're talking about.

 

Freud's concept of Ego is as one of the three components of personality... Id, Ego, and Superego. The id motivates us to get our needs met and is characterized as self-serving, animalistic. The superego compels us to obey societal learning, morals, conscience, etc., and is often in conflict with the id. The ego moderates between the two and helps us figure out how to get our needs met in a way that is socially acceptable...

 

The concept of true self vs. false self, with ego representing the false self is associated with D. W. Winnicott.

 

If you haven't read Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" I'd recommend it for you. It's not so clinical as the psychology theories and is quite helpful in revealing new perspectives and adjusting attitudes.

 

 

Ok I will find what I can about D. W. Winnicott and his studies. I will look into the book "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle's. LOl ya the clinical psychology theories are driving me nuts. I try to get what I can out of them, but mostly seem like they are talking there own language.

 

 

Thanks for your information and suggestions!

  • Author
Posted
I highly recommend Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson, if you have an interest in different states of being and developing consciousness. His writing style is dry, sarcastic, and HILARIOUS, and the book is a serious mashup of Freud, Darwin, and Leary, in terms of personal development.

 

 

 

Ok got it Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson! Thank you for your help!

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Posted

Have either of you heard of Carl Jungs theory?

Posted
Have either of you heard of Carl Jungs theory?

 

I have Jung's book "Psychological Types" on which Meyers-Briggs is based. It's difficult reading to say the least- a translation (Swiss>German>English (?)) that is academic, lengthy and uses a lot of non-standard vocabulary and syntax. I think you'd better served with a modern derivative intended for general consumption.

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Posted
I have Jung's book "Psychological Types" on which Meyers-Briggs is based. It's difficult reading to say the least- a translation (Swiss>German>English (?)) that is academic, lengthy and uses a lot of non-standard vocabulary and syntax. I think you'd better served with a modern derivative intended for general consumption.

 

 

Ya I had read a brief description of his theory on wiki. I didn't get much out of the description. I will just see what I can get out of the book you suggested.

Posted (edited)

I think you'd be better served by one of the books linked below (or others). The Jung English translation is really difficult to digest. I've read the Keirsey book (not cover to cover) and it's excellent. I have not read the Thomson book but it's well reviewed. I'd suggest Keirsey first and if you're still hungry then go for the Jung book.

 

Please Understand Me - Keirsey

 

Personality Type - Thomson

 

And this book by David Richo might be the best book I've ever seen on relationships (unrelated to the other two).

 

Five Keys to Mindful Loving - Richo

Edited by salparadise
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