xinaxxsdertf Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 (edited) hi guys so my ex and I have been broken up for i think maybe 2 and a half months. we were together for 2 years. lived together, were best friends. did everything together and missed each other every single day we didnt get to see each other. it was hard to go out of town for a weekend because we missed each other that much. the first month was pretty much in contact the whole time, still telling each other we love and miss each other. she also said it to me all the time too. well after my bad run-in i had with her when i saw her in a night club i was at (she was with this friend that hates me) and i started arguing with her mate and swore at her, well my ex got mad at that and said she was upset, im immature blah blah. I shouldnt have reacted how i did but i was drunk and i was in my partying phase after the break up. funny thing, after seeing her that night, i thought i was doing well because i was partying every weekend. working and training and hanging with mates pretty much every other day and i was laughing and planning stuff. well now after bumping into her, i realised how much of an affect she still has on me and how easily i got emotional when i saw her out, so i thought that the partying phase isnt helping me and im getting hurt because i see her out now. so party phase stopped, havent been out since. so ive been home for about 5 weeks in a row. just working and sometimes training but not often (use to go train 4 times a week, now maybe once or twice). my flat mate and his girlfriend smoke weed so i thought i would give it a go since i was feeling so depressed after seeing her, and it worked well for about a week. now im hooked, have been doing it since. ive been so depressed over my ex lately and so sad that i resorted to weed and i regret ever starting it because i can feel it is holding me in my depressed state. well the past few days i finally decided to go and get in the gym. felt good but the weed has defintely taken a toll on my fitness. im just wondering why i miss her so much now, i was doing so well and not caring about her but now i just miss her. i miss her company, everything about her. im dreaming about her again which really sucks because i wake up in the mornings almost in tears and i think about it all day long. how can i get back to my sober, confident, bubbly, motivated self ? how do i fight the urge to smoke weed when its the one thing that can stop me from wanting to cry. its the few seconds in a day where i dont have to miss her. i feel so pathetic and if she ever saw the state i was in, she would be so disappointed as i always wore the pants in the relationship and i was always so driven. now im down in the dumps and have tried every day for the past week to pick myself up and get myself out there, but i just lose motivation so fast. i can be motivated to finally do something but then 5mins later ive completely lost it all again Edited April 15, 2015 by xinaxxsdertf typo
RoseHeart Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 2 and a half months is not really that much of a long time ago. Moving on and healing takes way longer than that especially if you really loved that person. So I think it's a bit unrealistic to expect yourself to have moved on already. You definitely need to work on your weed problem because it has never worked out good for almost anyone I know who smokes it. You are doing it for a few moments of not missing her but yet when you aren't high you are missing her so basically you are doing nothing productive or useful towards the situation. There's no winning. You are literally just faking it for a while. I'd suggest finding something more useful to do when you want to smoke weed. I'm no expert but in my opinion weed addiction is no different than any addiction so you might want to look into drug addiction websites who could offer more in depth help. "how can i get back to my sober, confident, bubbly, motivated self ? " It starts with a decision and it's all about mindset. Also you'll need to allow yourself far more time to reach that place of happiness and moving on. Till then it's all about baby steps and just taking it each day at a time especially if you have a weed problem added to the mix.
Author xinaxxsdertf Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 Funny thing is, ive never been addicted to anything before. Never smoked or done drugs. I just have a drink every now and then with mates. I do feel now as though ive been hurting for so long that i allowed weed to make me feel better but as soon as it wears off i get hit hard by depression again. Ive had my days where i feel good and try re inspire myself but it keeps crashing back down when i miss her. Im not saying i get insanely depressed, i still go work and do what needs to be done, its just all done with sadness. I have plans not this weekend but the next. Im going on a road trip out of town with my mates. I REALLY want to get out of this before that weekend comes so i can have fun. I need to stop the weed first, and i think that will open tge door for me to walk out of this nonsense. Feeling strong headed at the moment but is it temporary again...
Twigyy Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 It takes some time. My breakup was about Three months ago, but I feel much better now. If anything about her comes just let it come and go. The thing to remember is to not put any effort in missing her. Enjoy being alone for now. Do things that make YOU happy.
Itspointless Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Ive had my days where i feel good and try re inspire myself but it keeps crashing back down when i miss her. Im not saying i get insanely depressed, i still go work and do what needs to be done, its just all done with sadness. I have plans not this weekend but the next. Im going on a road trip out of town with my mates. I REALLY want to get out of this before that weekend comes so i can have fun. I need to stop the weed first, and i think that will open tge door for me to walk out of this nonsense. It is isn't nonsense, yes it is real. You need to accept that you are sad. Cut the crap and grief.
Ruby65 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Why not talk to your doctor? It sounds like you're self-medicating and could benefit from some short-term meds to help with temporary depression. Also, start exercising again. That's proven to be just as effective on mild depression as meds! There's other natural supplements you can look into to help your mood.... google St. John's Wort and sam-E. But there's nothing to be ashamed of needing a little anti-depressant med to lift you out of a post-breakup depression. 1
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