maradona Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 hi everyone, I posted about a month back about wanting to ask out a girl and I did. It went great! We went on two dates one two weeks ago another last Friday. In between we have been texting almost everyday, once her once me initiating. We laugh and have fun the whole time. During the last date, while out for dinner the waitress would literally giggle every time she walked by because we barely ate and just talked. After second date (friday) we texted a little on Saturday and again all day on Sunday. I initiated Sunday. Saturday morning she texted me back from last night saying she had great time too. We didn't text at all monday and tuesday. Here's the thing... I got burned really bad in my last breakup and it was horrible we were almost engaged. Everytime I try to let someone in I get this crazy anxiety like when is she going to leave too? I don't show it.. But it drives me crazy and I hate it. It's been two days and I'm thinking what if she lost interest? What if this isn't going anywhere? I never was like this before and I don't have trouble to go on dates and meet women but this one.. She is different I really like her and I can see this going somewhere and its freaking me out... I know what I sound like.... I want to ask her out again and I want to continue this to see if it goes somewhere... But how do I stop feeling this way?
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 She's backing off for a few reasons. 1) Being a girl's texting buddy actually makes her interest level decrease over time. Since you're always in her face chatting on the phone, it shows that you're too available and too eager to talk to her. Remember, you had a life before her, so don't forget to keep living it. 2) You didn't cut to the chase and plan the next date. I mean you had two days to do it, and she even hinted saying that she had a great time on the last one. So what exactly were you waiting for? Chances are she's getting bored waiting for you to take action. Since it's been a few days, why don't you actually give her a call tomorrow and ask her out over the phone? If you like her and have already been out a few times, don't you want to keep hearing her voice? After you make the next date, cut WAY back on the phone interaction. If you want to keep momentum going between dates, that's cool. But do it sparingly. Maybe 2-3 texts a piece every 2-3 days. Or a quick phone call here and there. But for the most part, talk to her on dates.
Author maradona Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 Thanks very much for your reply! And I agree but how? How do I politely stop the texting? Wouldn't that give the wrong vibe like "I'm not interested" If she texts and asks questions and keeps it going asking a whole bunch of stuff I prefer to talk about on dates how do I politely stop that?
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Thanks very much for your reply! And I agree but how? How do I politely stop the texting? Wouldn't that give the wrong vibe like "I'm not interested" If she texts and asks questions and keeps it going asking a whole bunch of stuff I prefer to talk about on dates how do I politely stop that? 1) You give the impression you're interested by continuing to ask her out on dates. 2) Stop responding instantly. If she texts you, wait like 3-5 hours to respond to the first one. Start to train her that you're busy and not always available to chat at her beck and call. 3) When you do respond, exchange 2-3 texts with her tops. Once again, space it out. Respond to one quicker, the next one 1-2 hrs later, etc.. After that you say "I'm on my way out for the night. But I'm looking forward to Sat. Talk to u then!" 4) If she contacts you again before Sat or whenever the date is, same thing. Take longer to respond on the first one. Then vary your response time, and exchange 2-3 tops. Then say you have to run and you'll see her Sat. 5) If she just won't take the hint and keeps texting you. That's when you tease her and say "Wow, I knew you liked me. But now you're just making it obvious not waiting until Sat. ;-) " Or "You're awesome. But you're not turning into a stalker already are you? ;-P Haha", etc.. *** As long as you keep asking her out, you don't need to do much else. Just remember that you're the guy and you gently lead. Don't be afraid to get off the phone.
Author maradona Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 Well I asked her out again for the weekend to see if she's free she can't saturday friend got married new house warming. And Friday her friends going to watch the hockey game and invited me to join.. This is bad? Is it friend zone and move on? Or not necessarily?
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Well I asked her out again for the weekend to see if she's free she can't saturday friend got married new house warming. And Friday her friends going to watch the hockey game and invited me to join.. This is bad? Is it friend zone and move on? Or not necessarily? Hmm.. She disappears for two days, and then is suddenly too busy to get together. Women that are interested, want to make time for you on days they can be alone with you. So the fact that she didn't bring up Sunday, and mentioned Friday with friends instead, is a bad sign. I mean if you'd been seeing her awhile and she wanted you to meet her friends, that's a good thing. But, you've only had a few dates. So it seems like more of an excuse not to be alone with you. How I'd respond : - Thanks for the invite. But I'm busy Fri. When are you free next week? Then if she responds with "I don't know" or 'I'll get back to you" you simply say "OK no worries. Get back to me and we'll make plans then." Then you don't contact her after that. If she's interested, she'll get back to you. If not, take the hint and move on.
Author maradona Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 Yea that's what I thought too... Well I know she can't Sunday because her grandma is passing away within the month.. The family goes to see her on Sunday's. They found out the 30 days thing last Sunday before the two days thing. I won't ask her out again.. I guess. Il just see what will happen with next week Thanks a lot for your responses
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Yea that's what I thought too... Well I know she can't Sunday because her grandma is passing away within the month.. The family goes to see her on Sunday's. They found out the 30 days thing last Sunday before the two days thing. I won't ask her out again.. I guess. Il just see what will happen with next week Thanks a lot for your responses Well you don't want to just ignore her Friday invite. You should still respond and say "I'm busy Fri and can't make it. But when are you free next week/" Then you allow her to get back to you and let you know. If she responds with 'I don't know" or "I'll get back to you" you say no worries, and that you'll make plans when she touches base with you. After that, is when you don't contact her anymore and let her come to you. But you should still try to turn her Friday suggestion into a date for next week if you can first before giving up.
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