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Is it wrong to date someone for financial security?


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Posted

I don't mean straight-up gold digging, like using someone to buy designer clothing and shoes or take ridiculous vacations. And I don't mean being supported by someone either.

 

But I mean, maybe being with someone who has a really good job, makes good/great/even a lot of money, and has the ability to buy a nice house or something.

 

Is that wrong?

Posted

Well, what kind of job and income do you provide?

Posted

It's wrong if that's the only reason you are with him.

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Posted

If you love someone who happens to have a lot of money, then no that isn't wrong. If you're dating someone strictly for their money then yes, that seems wrong.

 

My last boyfriend was rich. He loved traveling like I do, so we would take the most amazing trips. It was great. The problem was that our relationship was a train wreck, and no amount of money could have fixed that.

Posted
As long as you love him

 

- Exactly. That said, find someone who is better off than you and you'll have less problems.

 

Now where did my sugar mamma go to?! :p

Posted

There is nothing wrong in wanting to date a person whose financially stable and could provide, provided that this is not the only reason why you are dating him.

 

You could always do a bit of role playing and ask yourself how would you think/feel if he asks you in return what do you have to put on the table?

Posted

I am accustomed to a certain lifestyle that my ex provided me with, and when we split, I managed to recreate that lifestyle on my own.

 

I went on a date with someone who drove a 30-year-old unreliable truck and still used a VCR. Nice guy, but it was a deal breaker for me.

 

Am I gold digger? I don't think so. But I want someone who will be able to provide me what I'm accustomed to…equal or better. And I am not accustomed to pushing an old truck down the street at 3:00 a.m. in the morning.

Posted
I am accustomed to a certain lifestyle that my ex provided me with, and when we split, I managed to recreate that lifestyle on my own.

 

I went on a date with someone who drove a 30-year-old unreliable truck and still used a VCR. Nice guy, but it was a deal breaker for me.

 

Am I gold digger? I don't think so. But I want someone who will be able to provide me what I'm accustomed to…equal or better. And I am not accustomed to pushing an old truck down the street at 3:00 a.m. in the morning.

 

Yikes. That would be a deal breaker for me too, and I drive a 15 year old car (that has never broken down fortunately).

 

Financial security to me, is defined as he's a good money manager. Whatever amount that he has, he doesn't waste it or hoard it, but spends and saves it wisely. I don't need gadgets. I grew up middle class, so I'm ok with that level of comfort. I know some couples who have as many as 3 tvs, multiple ipads, multiple cellphones, etc. and none of that interests me as much as spending money on experiences and travel, which I prefer.

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