Cupid's Puppet Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 As you try to cope, does being hopeful or being hopeless bring you peace? Do you feel better having hope that you'll find love again, or does giving up on love help you move on easier? I tend to be more satisfied with hopelessness, but it is probably because I don't want to face the pain of disappointment. When I have hope, I get a lot of anxiety. When I lose hope, I get sad. Both situations suck for me.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Neither. I focused on every other aspect of my situation, as opposed to pondering whether or not I would ever find love again. That is to say, it wasn't "oh I'll never love again!" OR "well their are plenty of fish in the sea". It was "Damn I *ucked up! You idiot!". Eventually, that turned to looking at the advantages of being single, but it took a while.
minimariah Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I tend to be more satisfied with hopelessness, but it is probably because I don't want to face the pain of disappointment. When I have hope, I get a lot of anxiety. When I lose hope, I get sad. Both situations suck for me. me too. i wouldn't call it hopelessness... it's more like... i'm OK if it doesn't happen, if it's not meant to be for me. if i find love again, one that will last & be everything i want and more? fantastic! if not? oh, well. there are other things in life to look forward to. and it's not that i'm hopeless, it's just... i guess i can never believe that i'll be THAT lucky to find someone who will fit me perfectly and who will make me incredibly happy... what are the odds? it's more acceptance of the worst case scenario happening than hopelessness. i always have hope... hope in love & a happy ending. i tried to get rid of it but my heart refuses to listen. 1
jen1447 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Real hopelessness is involuntary, so I think your options are more along the lines of more hope or less hope. I get the part about more anxiety with expectations, as opposed to just letting it ride.
Throldur Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Hope in hopelessness.. If I expect nothing.. I either get what I bargained for and am pleasantly surprised.
Leone13 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Trying to rationalize and set expectations for the future will drive you crazy. its like a rollercoaster as your feelings try to cope with an end/new beginning. Trying to decide how you feel is mentally exhausting. its hard, but you need to just put those thoughts out of your kind, breath, and focus on what you are doing in the moment, you don't even need to think about tomorrow, just worry about the now and do something to make 'that moment' better.
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