Tolu2d Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 So it's been 3 months since the break up of a long term relationship. She has a new boyfriend and is happier than ever with this guy and loves him. Even saying how much of a great "fit" they are and how much happier she is in life with him than me. The problem is, I'm still madly in love with her and think about her everyday, despite doing nc for 2 months. Sometimes I even have pretend conversations with her I miss her so much, even all of her little quirks. I need this pain to end. I have good days and bad days, but the pain never does go completely away.
darkbloom Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I am still in love with him too and it is 4 months NC and 5 months post break up. You cannot change how someone feels. Maybe your love with her was right, just not right now. I too have imaginary conversations with him but it goes better in my head than if I actually tried to get in contact with him. From what I have been reading on other posts, you only truly get over them when you find someone new.
mightycpa Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 If you were truly in love, then I would expect that you would still be in love with them. Love doesn't need reciprocation, as you are only now beginning to learn
Shetland Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I feel exactly the same. 3 months by now and I still think about her everyday. She also jumped into a relationship real fast. Not sure if I got left for someone or she just moves on really fast. She broke NC just to tell me she was with a new guy, and that she was happier this year than when she was with me. I also talk to her in my head. Sometimes, I make little scenarios of things I could have done that could of strengthened our relationship. I tell myself "If I had just said this..." or " She wouldn't of left me if I had did that for her..." Then I just get hit with a sack of regret... It's crazy right? She tore me to pieces and I still love that girl. If there is anything that can make you feel better, it's that you are not alone. We'll get through this together. We just gotta.
ravfour4 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Man... for her to break NC just to tell you she's happier is very unnecessary. Use that as ammo to forget about her for good. 2
Pikesburgh Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I'm in the same boat. Try having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with vividly happy dreams each night. You wake up, for the first 10-20 seconds are happy...then remember what happened, and you get stuck on it until the wee hours of the next morning when you can finally fall asleep. I know it won't help much, but if you don't have what I have maybe you can think of it in a way that makes it a tiny bit easier to deal with.
Eranthe Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Three months and one week .... I think about him every day and 'rehearse' the conversation I imagine having with him one day ... I think this is relatively normal (at least I hope it is) ...
Cambria Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 3 months for me too and he's happily in love with another Woman. I am miserable and I'm still in love with him. It was true love for me...I doubt I will ever really get over him. I hope your heart mends and you are able to find someone better for you, someone who will love you as deeply as you love them.
Ruby65 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 3 months is no time at all to be over someone. Have patience with yourself! You'll get there.... but it takes time.
HBK3317 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Don't mean to lower your hopes but it's been seven months I haven't seen her or talked with Her and for all I know she must be with someone else. She's so beautiful any guy would fall head over heel for her and it kills me to think about her being with someone else... Most of the day I would try and keep my mind occupied but one thought of her and every thing comes rushing back to hit me smack in my face. I keep on thinking about my future but without her that too feels like a lost cause. I think I have given up on life itself after her. I don't even know what to feel right now Shall I be angry with myself or with her ? I have no idea. Time seems like the biggest enemy of mine. Nothing is working.
medzeer Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Don't mean to lower your hopes but it's been seven months I haven't seen her or talked with Her and for all I know she must be with someone else. She's so beautiful any guy would fall head over heel for her and it kills me to think about her being with someone else... Most of the day I would try and keep my mind occupied but one thought of her and every thing comes rushing back to hit me smack in my face. I keep on thinking about my future but without her that too feels like a lost cause. I think I have given up on life itself after her. I don't even know what to feel right now Shall I be angry with myself or with her ? I have no idea. Time seems like the biggest enemy of mine. Nothing is working. She is beautiful? Maybe now, but in 20 years she won't be that pretty. So find someone who will be beautiful inside, because this is something that age can't change. Also you need to understand that you think she was so pretty only because you are still in love with her, the moment you move on, you will start to see so many other pretty girls around you... well, i can't say it is coming from my own experience, cause i have this issue as well. Eventhough after BU so many ppl, told me that i could have done so much better than my ex ( in terms of look obviusly) but i still find her the most beautiful girl in the world. But all we need is TIME. I bet all my money that we both will find someone better! So now, work on yourself, go out, date, cause i dont want to lose my money 1
Throldur Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 It's pretty much 4 months for me and I'm still in love with my ex too, despite all the horrible things she did toward the end.. just the way some of us are wired. I've been trying to date/look.. but I think I'm forcing it too hard when I'm still in love with my ex. I've made my decision today that I will only check in on these forums after today once in awhile if I am having a bad day coping, or feel like I'm gonna snoop, or something happens (check up on Blackbird).. but I'm gonna leave my online dating accounts for now, just sign in so I'm an "active" profile in case some girl messages me.. but other than that, I'm gonna just trying to move on and revisit dating again in July (my birthday is June 29th.. so I'll be 26 then, a new age, a new start). Otherwise I'm gonna end up trying to pound a puzzle piece into a section it doesn't belong. Oddly enough, a girl visited my OKCupid profile today that I went on a few dates with (off POF) a few years ago before I met my last girlfriend. She was in a bad spot then, looks to be doing better, just messaged her to say I'm glad to see she came around. I don't expect a response from her but she will read it and hopefully it gives her renewed confidence she's on the way to happiness.
Author Tolu2d Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 Yeah I just wish I wasn't so heartbroken!!
xyz0123 Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 It's been 2 months. I have dreams/nightmares with her every night since the break up.. I go out every time and come back home with hope that I'm really coming back HOME.. not just empty walls. But nothing's gonna happen. It's been only 3 weeks of NC. Keep holding on.
HumptyDumpty Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 It will go away! It took a long time for me, maybe too long, but your head will become clear again! It helped me realize just how toxic it was. And that it was my very own fault to be hung up for so long. It wasn't love either. Just fantasies in my head, something I made up but wasn't real! 3 months is still fresh. But it shows that you need to work and work harder to get this heart-break over with. You need to occupy yourself, to stop thinking about her. Don't give me the "I can't" crap. Yes you can, but it takes effort, just like everything in life, you gotta work for it. Research the internet how you can do that, what activities might interest you! Because all the time and effort you put into those thoughts that are just in your head, is lost. Wasted time. It doesn't do anything good for you, no, it harms you even. And time is so precious. So do something about it. You're putting yourself on hold and missing out on stuff you can't even imagine right now. So get busy now. Right now. Hop hop.
Fufu Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 So it's been 3 months since the break up of a long term relationship. She has a new boyfriend and is happier than ever with this guy and loves him. Even saying how much of a great "fit" they are and how much happier she is in life with him than me. The problem is, I'm still madly in love with her and think about her everyday, despite doing nc for 2 months. Sometimes I even have pretend conversations with her I miss her so much, even all of her little quirks. I need this pain to end. I have good days and bad days, but the pain never does go completely away. Now, the only person you should really really love and care about is yourself. You and you and you only. Although, this is gonna take time, you have to start to tell yourself that you have to move on and focus on your own self recovery. You can do it, believe in yourself. Just to share, my ex dumped me in October 2010 and now I looked back, it's been YEARS. I been through all the rollercoaster stages and every time I learned something and come out a better and more confident person. It's never the end after a break up, in fact it's a beginning of another new chapter in life. 1
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