pictureperfectlife Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Is love really not enough? Can someone fall in love and yet distance themselves from the person they love because of fear? I used to think if you love someone you will do everything to be with them and thought love was enough but lately i've been seeing so many people being in love with someone yet being afraid of it and pushing the person they love away and sabotoging the realtionship they're in and breaking up with the person they love because they are afraid of getting hurt and being in a reltionship. Has anyone ever expereinced this? Is love really not enough? Can someone really not want to be in a relationship with a person they've fallen in love with because of bad experiences in their past and fear of getting hurt?
neowulf Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 People are wired to avoid pain more than pursue pleasure. Sadly, some people come to associate "Love" with excruciating pain and loss. Some people are afraid of commitment, of losing themselves and freedom. Others are afraid of abandonment, of risking and losing the one they care about. In the end, we all have to be responsible for our feelings and choices. If a person loves you enough, I like to believe they'll do their best to push past the fear and move forward. Not everyone can do this though. It varies greatly from person to person. 4
todreaminblue Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 yes it is possible....what it signifies in my opinion is that person isn't ready to be in a relationship ....isnt ready to take the bad times with the good times.....is not ready to feel fear and is still too hurt to move forward......what takes real courage is to do it anyway.....with fear....with love with all you feel....and move forward and love some one regardless of how hurt you have been in the past....when you accept the fear....thats when you are ready for a relationship....not in the absence of fear...but within the courage of love to overtake fear will come great and lasting relationships.. i have been hurt...i have done the run thing and it scares me crapless to think of being hurt again...but i know i am ready to love a guy again...in spite of fear.....i have more courage than fear...and i have more love than i have the capacity to run..deb 4
preraph Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 You can love someone without them being a suitable mate or without being able to live with them. If you have good sense, you will occasionally have to make a decision not to stay tangled up with someone you've grown to love and understand but who is a screw up in one way or the other, whether it's won't help with the household chores, can't hold a job, stays high all the time, or is a cheater.
Gary S Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Love is not enough for a good relationship.....both people also need to have a good attitude and not have too many issues. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 You're the same woman that was worried about your red head loving boyfriend dumping you because you're a brunette right? Based on what you've said about your BF, he cares about you regardless of your hair color and any other reason you can come up with. However, you seem determined to find a reason why he'll eventually break up with you. If you don't deal with all your insecurities and have faith in the relationship, he will break up with you and it will be all your fault. No one wants to be with someone that's scared and pushing them away all the time. 1
Toodaloo Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Love is not enough for a good relationship.....both people also need to have a good attitude and not have too many issues. Love is not enough. It needs dedication, commitment, communication... a whole host of other factors as well that will change between couples to make it work. The strongest relationships I know are not the ones where they are always lovey dovey and holding hands (they often break up quickly). They are the ones where the couples say "we have a problem lets sort it out".
Buddhist Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Love is not enough, ever. It fades, the rose coloured glasses come off and then you are confronted with what is really there. After that you had better have like for the person, they need to be at least someone you would choose as a friend. But more than that they need to be willing to sacrifice as much for you as you do for them and be committed to this idea of a shared life that mostly flows in the same direction. Without that....everything else comes undone. I would also never advocate for someone to uproot their life for love. The chances of their love interest outlasting their career choices, opportunities and financial stability and goals and dreams aren't high. And I've followed more than one lover into a career and life dead end. The only thing worse than losing your relationship, is also having to pick up the pieces of a neglected life at the same time. I advocate making smart choices. Base your life on things of stability and then learn to love the people who are already there with you. 1
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Too much emphasis is placed on romantic "love" and not enough on the practical aspects of actually being able to live with that person. Too many come on here and have no faith in themselves, they put up with being abused, being cheated on, being ignored, being denigrated and living in hell, all in the name of so called "love". Q: What do you actually love about that person? A: Oh I don't know, I just love them soooo much. He/she was very nice to me about a year ago... 1
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