MrKai Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 So i dated a girl about 1year, she pushed the relationship really fast, I could feel she was closed off a little emotionally. First 6 months was beautiful, but then suddenly things start going wrong.. She started contacting her ex.. ofcorse I was frustrated about that, more often we start quarrel.. she said that he is just a friend and you do not have to worry about and I trusted her.. we got broke for one month but then she come back, says she misses me and so.. okey, things was good for now, on New year i was introduct with her family, they as wery happy about us, and wished all good things to us.. after 3 days i get sms from her.. She said that she actually dont love me and we need to broke up, but she wants be friends with me, do not want to lose me as a person.... just pathetic sms.. At the end , I wrote that respect your choice , and maybe someday we can be friends , but not now.. she made no reply.. I have no contact after that with her, and she also.. I was shocked about what happened, i really loved her, and unfourtunately still love.. 3 month r now from break up, last week our both friend tell that she and her ex have a nice vacation in Egypt... Looks like they together again, and i am nothing more than rebound guy.. I feel so bad, my self-esteem is dropped and i cant move on, just cant.. i need some advice..
NC-Thomas Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Why would you want to be with someone with such a shallow personality anyway? She seems like an empty balloon bouncing from one guy to another. Let her. Be the better one. Hold regard for your own standards and never go back with her. Block her on whatsapp, facebook. Don't ever respond to her texts, because I promise you, one day she will be snooping around. To see if you are still available, to see if you are doing better. To see if she can still pet you and be "friends", how "convenient" for her. You dodged a bullet. Good luck man. 3
fireflywy Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you. 1.) When she started to talking to her ex, you should have "next" her. I know that so many people on here will whine about people who dislike this (especially when there are no ties sigh as finances/children) and call them things such as "jealous", "possessive,“ and "controlling" but they need to wise up, knock off the selfish b.s. and COMMIT to their current people when the relationship moves out of the initial phase. Its actually disrespectful. 2. You're in pain. It hurts like a mofo. Your ego is trashed because they chose them over you so you're asking "What is it about me? Was I so terrible?" And "If she could do that did she ever care?" And perhaps "I'm better off she'll regret it" only to ask yourself "What if SHE thinks she's better off without ME?" (That's my thought today anyway.) Here's the thing, this does NOT mean that you are less "worthy" then her "ex" or somehow failed in this relationship. It means that SHE made a choice due to her own wiring and preferences which aren't about you. The fact that she could do that to you, lie to you, then drop you like that, means she was aware of what she was doing. (She knew your concerns). While i say she chose this, pleasd also know that that is just who she is. She's not trustworthy, period. This is not something that you would ever have the power to change because this is her default setting. She's a defective product at least as far as your relationship is concerned and always was. It is going to hurt. I feel you my friend. We are here for you though. There is wisdom here on this place if you write, vent, and YES, help others. All you can do now is think about you respond to this. Look at the quote below... "Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and about what happens to you..." Harold Kushner, forward to Viktor Frankl's (a holocaust survivor) "Man's Search For Meaning" 2
fireflywy Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 One last thing... Her actions will ALWAYS say more about HER then they ever will about YOU. Remember that.
NC-Thomas Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you. 1.) When she started to talking to her ex, you should have "next" her. I know that so many people on here will whine about people who dislike this (especially when there are no ties sigh as finances/children) and call them things such as "jealous", "possessive,“ and "controlling" but they need to wise up, knock off the selfish b.s. and COMMIT to their current people when the relationship moves out of the initial phase. Its actually disrespectful. 2. You're in pain. It hurts like a mofo. Your ego is trashed because they chose them over you so you're asking "What is it about me? Was I so terrible?" And "If she could do that did she ever care?" And perhaps "I'm better off she'll regret it" only to ask yourself "What if SHE thinks she's better off without ME?" (That's my thought today anyway.) Here's the thing, this does NOT mean that you are less "worthy" then her "ex" or somehow failed in this relationship. It means that SHE made a choice due to her own wiring and preferences which aren't about you. The fact that she could do that to you, lie to you, then drop you like that, means she was aware of what she was doing. (She knew your concerns). While i say she chose this, pleasd also know that that is just who she is. She's not trustworthy, period. This is not something that you would ever have the power to change because this is her default setting. She's a defective product at least as far as your relationship is concerned and always was. It is going to hurt. I feel you my friend. We are here for you though. There is wisdom here on this place if you write, vent, and YES, help others. All you can do now is think about you respond to this. Look at the quote below... "Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and about what happens to you..." Harold Kushner, forward to Viktor Frankl's (a holocaust survivor) "Man's Search For Meaning" This post is a part of that wisdom we, I seek on LS. Thanks for sharing firefly, that quote got me thinking. 1
Author MrKai Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 all I want now is to prove that she is wrong with her choice.. I will become a better person, best of me i can be.. and if she ever show up again, I tell her what I went through, how much she hurt me.. so that she understands that you can not play with people's feelings.. and go away with smile in my face..
medzeer Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Proving sth to someone is bad attidute my friend. The faster you realize it the better. As long as you are trying to be the better person to prove her something, you just wont move on. You have to improve yourself solely for you, to meet someone better and for this situatuon to never happen again in your life.
Author MrKai Posted April 15, 2015 Author Posted April 15, 2015 Proving sth to someone is bad attidute my friend. The faster you realize it the better. As long as you are trying to be the better person to prove her something, you just wont move on. You have to improve yourself solely for you, to meet someone better and for this situatuon to never happen again in your life. you are right.. i need to try forget her and focus on myself.. But its so hard to dont think about her, almost imposible.. I hope that will end soon..
Author MrKai Posted April 16, 2015 Author Posted April 16, 2015 so, i got some news.. My best friend tells that my ex was contacted with him couple days ago..said that her life is improved.. she wanted to meet with him.. she even send him hers photos (selfies) how she looks now.. Im like WTF, what she wants to achieve with that!?!?
Fufu Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Don't waste time on this ex anymore. Time to move on.. I rather you spend more quality time on yourself.
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