Agent1 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) Ok, can anyone give me some insight or advice. I was married my wife left me out of no where. I was crushed of course, but moved on. About 6-7 months after she left I met this woman, really cool chick. We were never officially in a relationship, we live in 2 different states. We would talk a lot and meet up about once a month or 6 weeks. Well, typical wife actions found out that I was dating someone else, so she called and asked if I wanted to work on our marriage.. Like an idiot, I agreed (i thought I always wanted her back). I would hang out at my wife's apt and of course not be on my phone texting the new girl so she knew something was up. So, I finally told her what happened. She was hurt and angry, understandable. I tried to explain to her that I was confused (I was) an that I needed to figure that out. While with my wife, I realized how much I DIDN'T miss her. It was awful being with her again. So, that ended. New girl and I kept talking but she was very bitter and angry with me. It showed. Never acted like she wanted me, wasn't nice to me. She said I do things that if roles were reversed, I wouldnt be ok with, even though we werent techinally in a relationship. True statement. I should add in that I have a really good female friend. ONLY FRIENDS. Nothing there at all. I know shocker, two people can be only friends. Anyway, she would get jealous when we would hang out. I would let the girl stay the night at my house (seperate rooms) bc she would be too drunk to drive home. So new girl was upset. I couldnt understand it bc to me it was innocent. Anway, she met up with me again after all this about 3 weeks ago. It was a good time. Well about a week ago, she ended it with me. She said she is done. Doesn't trust me. She was feeling too much anxiety everyday worrying about what I am doing. Well, of course it hurt me bc I was trying to do everything in my power to prove to her that I only wanted her. She told me that we are better off with other people.. We haven't talked in about 5 days. No contact had helped me to see that I can be ok again. Well, yesterday I sent her an email saying that I agree with her decision and it was for the best.. and apologized for disrespecting her. She texted me like 5 mins after sending that email and said basically that she is glad we can see eye to eye and she received some good news.. Take care. Basically, I am wondering if I still have a chance with her or if I should just let go. Edited April 14, 2015 by Agent1
No Limit Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 You picked your ex (that I promise has cheated on you before she left out of nowhere and only came back because her lover turned out to be interested in sex, not her as she believed) over your girlfriend. Girlfriend knows she deserves to be #1 instead of the pity trophy so she moved on. Do the same and don't fall for the trap exes like your ex-wife pull off to make sure you won't move on from them. You aren't some narcissists' chew toy. And if you believe that any girl will tolerate their boyfriend having some other woman spending the nights at your house... sorry, but just be realistic. This friend of yours is in love with you, even if it's innocent to you. As long as you let her stay over the nights and don't set boundaries you'll never find another GF again.
ZiggyZoo Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Let it go. You were getting back with your wife while keeping her as an option in the background? She's right to not trust you, you've already basically cheated on her.
Author Agent1 Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) Yeah, it makes sense. I am not a bad person or a bad person to date. I was literally confused bc of the wife. It's not an excuse by any means. Imagine when your wife up and leaves you out of no where and that desperation you felt and wanted her back to bad so when she came back you jumped at it. The new girl told me she would have stayed if it were just that bc she can more understand that bc she was my wife but it was the doing things that I wouldnt want her doing... My friend only stayed at my house one time (while my coworker and her husband did too), told the new girl about it and she got angry and i never had my friend stay over after that bc I wanted to make the new girl feel secure. Too much damage had been done by then I guess. But, I will say that before I had my friend stay over, she told me we arent together and I can date if I want, she just doesnt want to hear about it... I didnt date at all.. And yeah if she had a good friend stay over even in seperate rooms, Id hate that. I didnt keep the new girl as an option.. It all happened so fast. Wife called me over, i went, next day told the new girl about it, she stopped talking to me, i left her alone, ended things with my wife... I didnt expect the new girl to want to come back Edited April 15, 2015 by Agent1
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