DexterLS Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Got a text from her last night, asking me if I was in the same club she had been in. Must've seen me but I didn't see her. Was about 2am, can't believe she has the audacity to text me after what happened last time we spoke. I ignored it and didn't bother replying even though i was in a very drunken state which I'm quietly proud of haha. You did the right thing and you should be proud of it. Stick with NC.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 You did the right thing and you should be proud of it. Stick with NC. I know, just not sure why she feels its a good idea to text me as if nothing has happened haha.
DexterLS Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I know, just not sure why she feels its a good idea to text me as if nothing has happened haha. Stop speculating. This is detrimental to your process of moving on. Just stick with NC and you should be fine.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Stop speculating. This is detrimental to your process of moving on. Just stick with NC and you should be fine. Oh I know, just seemed a bit pointless in my opinion.
mightycpa Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 At the weekend I bumped into my ex for the first time in months and we talked for 5 minutesOh, it bothered you all right. Maybe not the contact, exactly, but the talk? For sure. Luckily, I will tell you how to avoid being troubled by whatever it is that this woman has to say. When you bump into her, act like you're really glad to see her. Tell her to wait right there, and that you'll be right back. Then leave, and don't come back. That **** works like a charm. 1
Author Jimmyjackson Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 You need to find good qualities about her to think of and then forgive her for not being good enough for you. That's how you let go. "I forgive you for not being good enough for me". I would love to use that line one day.
FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Hate. Hate is so intoxicating and too consuming. I hated my abusive ex girlfriend who mentally tormented me. I absolutely gave it way too much effort and power. Until one day I ended up physically hurting myself because the anger manifested itself when I got wasted. So as of now I don't want to hate my current ex. Although she scarred me deeply, I don't want to waste my time and emotions on hating someone.
BC1980 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 You stop hating when you become indifferent, and that happens with time and distance. I used to seethe with anger. I would just walk around so pissed off. We work together, so I had to see his name on documents sometimes. Just seeing his name would piss me off. It's just something you gotta go through. It's totally normal. You can't stop it, but, if you stay NC and work on yourself, it gradually goes away.
foolinlove79 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 At the weekend I bumped into my ex for the first time in months and we talked for 5 minutes, this isn't what bothered me though. I mentioned in my other thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/524032-ex-girlfriend-my-friend that my friend told me he liked her and I told him I wasn't cool with it, he said he'd back away and he didn't. They both lied to me and kissed each other. Not only does that make me feel angry, but I then found out my ex did in fact cheat on me when she was away in Africa (check previous threads). She seemed to think she had already told me she had kissed this guy when she was away, I'm pretty sure she didn't. She said he kissed her, like it makes a difference haha, still got cheated on. Anyway, I feel like i've been dumped all over again, in some ways im glad she told me about the kiss because I know for certain I wouldn't ever get back with her again now as she cheated. On the other hand I feel like crap again and it's making me feel down, I cried last night for the first time since the break up. I'm back in NC now and plan on remaining that way, I wish I hadn't gone out at the weekend, this would never have happened. I've also came to the realisation that people aren't what they seem, you can be with someone for a long time and once you're broken up they seem like a totally different person, it's scary how much it changes. I realised I've been missing my ex for the person I thought she was, not the person she actually turned out to be. The girl who I was with before she went away was amazing, the one who came back was a different person. This goes for my friend too, he lost a friend all because of a kiss, his loss. My ex is always very sweet and the start. He has lots of time and pays lots of attention. When he decides he has had enough of me he becomes a total wanker. He criticises me and is cold and distant. No attempt i make to talk to him works and then he breaks up with me. The person i loved doesnt exist. Ive come to the conclusion that the arsehole is the real person and after a while he always shows himself
mossycup Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Its because after the break up you have your eyes wide open and you see what is actually there not what you want to be there... Don't bother with this one any more. It seriously isn't worth it. Yeah it's really wierd how different people seem when you are not in a relationship with them, both before and after. Before I started dating my ex I had ZERO interest in him. I literally remember thinking, I wish I was interested in this guy because he is single and we are in the same friend group, it would be so convenient, but I found him deeply boring. Then something changed and we fell in love and he became like the most interesting and sensitive guy of all time. Fast forward one and a half years later that were completely wonderful and he suddenly breaks off the engagement and said he was never that into me. Not sure why but I'm tired of analyzing it. Now when I think of him I question the ways I thought he was sensitive - I don't know what to think. It's very confusing - people are complex and we see what we want to see and we see what people are willing to show us at certain times. I actually feel very F*cked up when I think about this and it makes me never want to fall in love again, but just have really good friends. We'll see what happens.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Yeah it's really wierd how different people seem when you are not in a relationship with them, both before and after. Before I started dating my ex I had ZERO interest in him. I literally remember thinking, I wish I was interested in this guy because he is single and we are in the same friend group, it would be so convenient, but I found him deeply boring. Then something changed and we fell in love and he became like the most interesting and sensitive guy of all time. Fast forward one and a half years later that were completely wonderful and he suddenly breaks off the engagement and said he was never that into me. Not sure why but I'm tired of analyzing it. Now when I think of him I question the ways I thought he was sensitive - I don't know what to think. It's very confusing - people are complex and we see what we want to see and we see what people are willing to show us at certain times. I actually feel very F*cked up when I think about this and it makes me never want to fall in love again, but just have really good friends. We'll see what happens. "People tell you who they are, but we ignore it - because we want them to be who we want them to be." - Don Draper I agree, when somebody no longer cares you for you it's interesting to see how different they act.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 I'd like to just say for the record that I'm over these hate feelings, I spent months hating her for it all. This thread was a while ago now and while I don't hate her I still dislike her; probably always will. Hence me ignoring her pathetic attempt at communication at the weekend.
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